Things on MN that aren’t real life (LIGHTHEARTED)

[Summersun2020]

Thing on Mumsnet that you’ve only ever encountered on Mumsnet (lighthearted...please don’t bowl in with “well I do that actually”...ignore or add one of your own!!

People not using fabric softener...appears that on MN people in their droves think it stinks and is devil juice (I don’t know anyone IRL who is so vehemently against it/gets a migraine from the smell?? Surely it’s not that strong?).

any sort of noise in your garden at any time-kids on a trampoline, playing a radio at a normal level, etc. Completely normal everywhere I’ve ever lived- a cardinal sin on MN!

Oh, and everybody’s DH has a very niche too-outing-to-mention “hobby” that takes up the majority of their weekends.

Thinking someone who is 5ft 2 and weighs 9st is fat.

The extreme black and white thinking about most things. There are always many shades of grey.

Anything to do with food and portion sizes.

@CounsellorTroi

Thinking someone who is 5ft 2 and weighs 9st is fat.

God yes. There was a thread a week or so ago where an OP who was nearly 6ft and a size 10 was told she must have an issue with food if she thought that was slim and she was probably more likely a 14... Like what? People are so far from reality on here sometimes it's insane.

@SmileyClare

I've never encountered the revulsion to fabric softener on here, in real life. I mentioned that on a thread once and was told People are just too polite to tell you your clothes smell vile

Ditto the hideous migraine inducing offence of scented candles, air fresheners or dare I say it, Glade plug ins. I remember a poster complaining she had to get off a bus and vomit because someone had sprayed Impulse. Everyone was agreeing that was a normal reaction.

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Did she vomit because it was so cheap?

Yes everything is labelled "grim"! Rarely hear that in my life

All toys apart from the ones they chose for the dc are labelled as "plastic tat" especially if from the in laws. In Laws regularly turn up at Christmas with bags of plastic tat.

Anything second hand gifted by MIL for a new baby always "reeks of cigarette smoke" and is highly insulting.

Baking apple pies and providing take away beer for tradesmen to take home.

I don’t know anyone who uses bar soap, because there is nowhere sanitary to put it that doesn’t get messy or isn’t totally impractical. The entire market for bar soap must be on MN.

The entirety of greenpeace are on here as well, while simultaneously claiming to be at a high income. Not only do all of our friends and ourselves have SUVs - as do all of the parents at our school, we usually have multiple per family. Defence, banking, oil; old money and new.

I do wonder about the huge levels of anxiety on MN these days.

I also raise my eyebrows at some of these in-law stories too. Far too many in-laws appear to be 'toxic.'

Nobody ever making a snap judgement about anyone, like seeing someone dressed in a dirty tracksuit with a fag hanging out their mouth and a a can of special brew in had shout profanities and being wary of them but oh no that would make you judgemental and snobby

You're massively childish if YIU enjoy your birthday.

You shouldn't expect anything in terms of childcare or financial help from your parents. No matter how much time or money they have. Seems mumsnet think it's fine to see adult children struggle.

I've had no handouts! Btw. Just helping adult children is a big no on here.

I don’t know anyone who uses bar soap, because there is nowhere sanitary to put it that doesn’t get messy or isn’t totally impractical. The entire market for bar soap must be on MN.

I keep it in a plastic soap box available from supermarkets for a quid or two. More ornate versions are available on line.

@Coldilox

Oh, and everybody’s DH has a very niche too-outing-to-mention “hobby” that takes up the majority of their weekends.

And its almost always cycling or golf. Yawn.

Did she vomit because it was so cheap

Ha ha yes I wonder the reaction if the woman on the bus was wearing Chanel or something. I mean it might be a bit annoying to smell body spray on a bus but probably better than the stale b.o, musty seat smell of buses. It was like someone had sprayed novochok or shit on the seat.

Very entertaining though !

Remember the advert, men mumsnetters can't help acting on Impulse

I don’t know anyone IRL who stresses about dogs being off the lead, gets offended at being asked to the evening only part of a wedding or thinks twice about their dcs staying overnight with grandparents, even if one likes a drink or can be a bit of a grumpy arse.

The name Persephone. Not a legitimate baby name, yet for a while it was always appearing on the baby name forums.

Saying 'grabby'.

@CookPassBabtridge

Forgot to add.. Yes to the everyone being skinny! And yes to loo brush aversion, everyone I know owns a loo brush! HOW DO YOU CLEAN THE POO OFF OTHERWISE!? 😂

I have a non-MN friend... apparently she wipes the loo with her hands. I was so shocked I didn't dare to prod further about gloves ...

My husband never used fabric softener until I moved in! He never saw the point, so there are people who don't use it!

Since I introduced him to it, he now fills the slot with as much as he can because he loves the stuff!

The MN aversion to “unhealthy” fruit. OMG, you fed your child an apple! Think of all the sugar in that! Do you want all their teeth to fall out?

All MILs and ex DH’s are narcissists.

I don't know anyone who fits the MN stereotype. About 6 stone, Size 8 with 22HH breasts and a husband who is at the very least 6' 2" and earns well over six figures.

Oh and the stealth boasts about vanity sizing.

I'm a size 8 and the size 6 in M&S is far too big for me. Cue rant about the evil shops conning us all with vanity sizing

Not a care in the world about sizing, just want to stealth boast let us all know how slim they are.

Fuck off the lot o ye

Oh, you can never, ever pass judgement on something if you don't meet the MN acceptability standards.

Like a woman who has a glass of wine on an occasional evening worrying about her husband getting through 2 bottles of wine on the regular is told they both have drink issues.

Or the woman who was worried about her husband's health because he ordered 3 meals to himself from McDonald's and then came home for dinner was told she clearly didn't have any right to intervene because she gave her kid cornflakes for breakfast!

@CounsellorTroi

Thinking someone who is 5ft 2 and weighs 9st is fat.

But then we have the opposite, where somebody comes on saying they are 5’2 and a size 16 and want some support to lose weight, and a load of people pile on to say “size 16 is positively skinny, you sound like you have an eating disorder, I’m a size 24, you fat-shaming bitch!”

I’m 5’2 and have a BMI of 30 (and no it is definitely not all muscle). I am currently wearing a Gap UK size 10. It is perfectly possible to be overweight and still fit in “normal” dress sizes if you are short.