I’ve never had avocado

[BriocheBuns]

Around Christmas time there was a thread about what Christmas food people couldn’t get enough of and I remember stollen was very popular. So off I went to my local supermarket and picked up a bag of mini stollen bites... didn’t really like them but glad I tried them.

Now more to the point, a lot of people bang on about avocado on toast. I’ve never tasted avocado so before I go out and buy one only to dislike it I was wondering if anyone would be able to describe what it tastes like x

Yes, it's also good for your hair and nails, apparently.

The stollen bites aren't much like stollen, they're too cakey and a stollen loaf only has marzipan in the middle, so isn't so fake almondy. Stollen is yeasted, so it's more like a sweet, light fruit bread. The icing sugar goes on in buttery layers, so it's less powdery than the stollen bites. Get a whole one next year and you will see the difference. It's lovely for breakfast 😁

An avocado is a vile thing with a horrible texture and a truly revolting taste. It's like eating soft soap flavoured with earth and mouldy grass.

Tuna though ... tuna is fab. You ought to try that - only the sort in oil; the brine-only stuff is disappointing.

@Blessex I hope you enjoy it. The flat breads I use are the ones on the bread aisle that you pop in the toaster. Can't remember what they're called but they're usually with the pita breads and stuff. I've made myself hungry too just thinking about it. Sadly though until I go shopping again I've run out of hallumi cheese and flat breads

[quote Blessex]@MagentaDoesNotExist Jesus Christ. Screen grabbing.

@BriocheBuns I used to hate Mayo. It’s a grower.[/quote]
Trust me, you will not be sorry!

One of my favourite dishes from Greece. Perfect with very cold white wine or a dry rosé.

I make it often for vegetarian friends especially and there has been much swooning.

Halloumi rarely keeps more than 24 hours in my fridge. DS finds it.

@BaronessBomburst

Halloumi rarely keeps more than 24 hours in my fridge. DS finds it.

Bloody kids! Mine aren't tall enough to reach my cheese stash yet, thank God!

@TildaTurnip

Well I think they taste how I imagine fresh early spring grass tastes and the texture is like a green banana!

But a green banana is hard and chewy.

Avocado is soft and creamy?!

I recently tried avocado for the first time, I think its really nice! I just mash mine up with some lemon or lime (depending on what I have in) and have it in fajitas. I don't think it tastes like grass, just very fresh and summery. I also haven't yet had one that was hard or brown, maybe whoever picks my shopping at tesco is very good

Slimy bland mush. I don't understand the fuss people make of them. They are pretty shit.
I got stolen bites from asfa too. The same ones as you I think OP. They were just a bit crap really and I love almond and marzipan, but didn't buy them again. Didmt even finish the packet which is strange for me.

@MagentaDoesNotExist

Now someone's mentioned Halloumi I'll share a secret.

Cut a piece in half lengthwise. Dip in whisked egg then flour, then fry for a couple of mins each side until golden brown.

Serve with warmed honey mixed with dried oregano and (ideally black) sesame seeds, drizzled over the top.

You can thank me later.

I should add that the egg is optional and unnecessary really.

Will be interested to hear if anybody makes this and enjoys it! I am a single parent so make this on days I need cheering up late at night.

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby I have a flatbread raring to go now tomorrow. I also bought a toasty machine in lockdown so the kids can feed themselves at lunch that makes those line patterns.

I have a great halloumi salad recipe - broad beans (I always have a frozen packet in), red onion, avocado, dry fried warm halloumi cut in small chunks (lined frying pan too - obsessed with lines), lemon juice, olive oil, fresh parsley or mint.

Mash the avocado and add lime juice and freshly cracked black pepper. Pop onto toasted seeded bread and add a poached egg on top 🤤

My Dad used to make stollen when he was a baker. I used to look forward to a Saturday morning when he would bring it home from work. Not sure how it would compare to a traditional one because this was a lovely soft bread with raisins and chunks of marzipan mixed through and then icing and chopped almonds on top of it. That thickly cut with real butter spread on top was gorgeous.

Love this one
www.nigella.com/recipes/halloumi-with-chilli

[quote Blessex]@HopingForOurRainbowBaby I have a flatbread raring to go now tomorrow. I also bought a toasty machine in lockdown so the kids can feed themselves at lunch that makes those line patterns.

I have a great halloumi salad recipe - broad beans (I always have a frozen packet in), red onion, avocado, dry fried warm halloumi cut in small chunks (lined frying pan too - obsessed with lines), lemon juice, olive oil, fresh parsley or mint.[/quote]
Oooh that sounds really delicious!

Creamy and nutty. Make sure it's really soft and ripe not hard. They're not v nice when hard. It should be Mashable worth a fork

Am really surprised by the grass references!

OP - avocado is blooming gorgeous. Mash it up properly (I use a form to mash it), add a bit of salt and pepper (sometimes a very small squeeze of lemon or lime if I have one, but wouldn’t but one specifically for this) and then spread generously on toast.

Or, lightly toasted panini - spread with a bit of mustard mayo. Sliced chicken, strips of pre-cooked crispy bacon (M&S ones are good) and then scoops of avocado using a spoon along the top. Pure blooming heaven!

Like a perfect salad with a BBQ recipe. May save that for summer. Thanks @Blessex!

I’ve also never tried Tuna, Pickles, Gherkins, Seafood

Fucking hell. You're in your 30's?

The problem is that if you try a shit avocado you'll have no idea that it's shit.

Proper stollen is to stollen bites what a Bakewell tart from Bakewell is to one from Mr Kipling.

OP try half an avocado filled with prawn cocktail!

*fork, not form!

@MagentaDoesNotExist I’ll feed back on your halloumi recipe. Sorry OP we can get back to avocados now

@MagentaDoesNotExist I'll be making it tomorrow and will report back!

@Aquamarine1029

I’ve also never tried Tuna, Pickles, Gherkins, Seafood

Fucking hell. You're in your 30's?

The problem is that if you try a shit avocado you'll have no idea that it's shit.

I think we need to organise an avocado, stollen and seafood mumsnet intervention and visit the OPs home with good examples of each, to save her from this culinary wasteland.