Dp keeps saying this and it's making me angry.

[xatcat]

He keeps saying that I had a baby with him ( our first ) just to trap him.

He always says it jokingly but it really annoys me.

For context I was 19 when I accidentally fell pregnant. Me and dp had only been seeing each other for 10 months.

This was 11 years ago and he often brings it up.

What really annoys me is that he was a few years older than me so I feel he's blaming it all on me when he knew exactly what could happen.

I was also taking contraceptives, which he also thinks I stopped taking to fall pregnant.

How annoyed would this comment make you?

"Or when he says 'trapped' does he actually mean he slept with a younger and less experienced woman, opted out of making all contraceptive decisions and has resented her ever since for a contraceptive failure because he's a passive aggressive prick."

Yes, He needs to decide if he wants to stay with you, if you give him that option. Then shut the fuck up.

@JovialNickname

I suppose if you really wanted to drive the point home you could respond (in front of people) by saying how horrified you were to find out it was his baby, as you'd thought and hoped it was someone else's. But it wasn't so you got stuck with him!! See how funny he finds that joke

While I appreciate the sentiment of this, I think it could backfire spectacularly on the OP if she said anything like this. He would then start questioning her who else she was sleeping with, whether it genuninely could be someone else's, why she hasn't told him this already, demanding DNA tests etc. - not good.

[quote xatcat]@VettiyaIruken that's exactly the impression I get. He resents me for 'trapping' him when he was free before.

He makes out all the stress and problems that come with raising children is all my fault as I ' got myself pregnant' ( his own words ) [/quote]
'You got yourself pregnant'

He does realise it does actually take two? If it didn't, we wouldn't need men at all and life would be nice and drama free.

However, you should talk to him and explain it makes you upset. It's also not a good attitude to have in relation to the kids - regardless of how much he loves them.

You deserve more than someone who makes you feel he's only around out of a sense of duty.

Best of luck OP!

I think that's a horrible thing to say, and also very misogynistic.

You hardly got pregnant without any input from him!

Surely he trapped you by failing to use a condom?

I like this comment because it's true. He got YOU pregnant at aged 19, if anyone got trapped then it would be you.

Get rid of him, if he can't appreciate what you gave up when so young and without complaint then he's a twat!

Why does he think he was ever such a prize catch that a woman would be prepared to go through pregnancy and childbirth to 'trap' him, especially if he was that lazy and clueless about ensuring he didn't have children he wasn't ready for?

Are you not equally trapped? Except it's worse for you because you're stuck with a whiner.

I’d be reminding him that if he didn’t want to be trapped, he could have used a condom.
To be Frank, your DH sounds like a twat. After 11 years it’s not a joke, he’s still resentful.

If I married to him I’d be letting him know that his ‘joke’ is not funny and he can piss off.

The phrase 'Many a true word is spoken in jest' springs to mind. I'm not saying for the one minute OP,that you DID trap him by becoming pregnant! What I mean is that he obviously believes this to be true,so repeatedly makes a joke of it. I have often noticed people (usually men) doing this,and hiding behind the 'I was joking' excuse.

Sorry,posted too soon. Meant to add that you need to tell him that it's no longer funny,and that if he keeps saying it,you'll be getting rid of him!

[quote xatcat]@VettiyaIruken that's exactly the impression I get. He resents me for 'trapping' him when he was free before.

He makes out all the stress and problems that come with raising children is all my fault as I ' got myself pregnant' ( his own words ) [/quote]
You say he loves his children more than anything
Not if he says utterly nasty things like that to one of their mothers he doesn’t

So disrespectful to you and your child
Perhaps he should have taken responsibility to avoid procreation then like a real man would have

Not impressive at all

Waht @lottiegarbanzo said.

Read all her posts. She has nailed it.

You need to get this waste of space out of your life and your children's lives. If you think they can't sense the contempt he has for you, you are mistaken.