What is the last thing you said?

[Lockdowner35]

"I know we are"

"Well, that wasn't at all bad for 70p". Referring to the massively reduced fresh pizza from Lidl 😂😂😂

Ewww , your disgusting .

Don’t eat the fucking golden syrup cake you fool. - to catnip drugged cat.

Come have some calpol, baby.

(1yo has a terrible head cold and very snotty and miserable)

Oh no, I don’t like Pot Noodles.

French people are really attractive aren't they?

'Thanks for a lovely meal mum'

Deal the cards. I'm winning.

Tea Cuntface - to DP because I want tea and that's how we roll in our house

What’s the long card number?

Where are my other two children?

Don’t do that with your thumb please

"Can you bring me my dressing gown please my lovely?"

It doesn't matter if they don't match- as long as they keep my feet warm

Hi Charlie!

"Have you been out? Do you need a wee"

My phone was connected till someone messed about with the radiator

I can't actually buy it at the moment unless I do it like that- sorry

Would you say gin was an essential item?

Stop that.
Dont fight.
Stop running.
Dont do that
Stop fighting.
You'll trip.
Pick that up
No.
Stop it.
Ad infinitum.
Two kids bored at home.

"See, they don't always say 'come in'!"

"It's surprisingly interesting!"

Yes, I probably should have kept my maternity jeans...

• Lockdown + Lockdown pt2. + Christmas has all contributed towards a ridiculous amount of weigh gain. I look fatter than I did at term with both my DC & my youngest is 2.5 now 😳

I love you too (to DS before bed).

Don't stay up too late