What makes you un-mumsnetty?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

For me

• I park in parent and child spaces when I have my kids with me. I don't make my life harder by parking in a tiny normal space just in case that childless bloke in the Porsche 911 who runs into Asda like Linford Christie might have a better reason for it than me

• if I have a bad experience I complain. If I find my £40 steak swimming in fat with a pube in it, I don't refrain from saying anything just in case the chef has had a bad day.

• I go to the supermarket during the pandemic, I don't leave shaking and sobbing and riddled with guilt over it because I bought a Galaxy. I even take my kids with me.

• I don't "seethe" if, when the secret Santa budget is £5, I get a Bayliss and Harding gift set. I accept that £5 means limited options and I say thanks, move on and don't take it as a personal alight for years to come. I don't have the hump becauSe they didn't personally whittle a keyring from wood in the oak tree that tenderly grows in their back garden

What makes you unmumsnetty?

My kids don't do homeschool every day- we have a set amount we do at any time over a week (the full 7 days)

I have loads of clothes and wear different clothes for each season

I live in a big house and I'm not a Tory

I shop at Waitrose sometimes and I'm still not a Tory

My husband and I are madly in love each other, we shag very regularly and he leaves the loo seat down.

Oh heavens I'm a monster

I had elf on the shelf

I asked for money at my wedding rather than 37 mr and Mrs champagne flutes and 12 photo frames

I bought my daughter lots for Christmas

I'm vegan rather than eating solely locally reared massaged organic meat that practically begged for its turn in the slaughter house

I'd never report a Covid rule breaker

I hate it when people use the parent spaces without kids in their car and don't see me parking 1.2 miles away in the back of the carpark a reliable and better option

I love my mum being hands on with childcare for my daughter

I take pride in writing properly. I think it's helpful to have your spelling mistakes pointed out.

I have no issues with trans people.

I enjoy watching drag performances.

I don't change bedding every day.

I answer the fucking door.

I get on with my MIL.

I’m not a Labour voter/supporter and I am not attracted to Idris Elba/David Tennant/Tom Hardy Norway’s I attracted to Alan Rickman.

I hate dish washers.

My dogs are off lead.

Oh fuck and I wash my bedding every day because I love the feeling of fresh sheets- but I use a really non-eco-friendly cycle and shit tonnes of softener.

I don't have any social media accounts (unless you count MN) and would rather stick pins in my eyes than join a local community Facebook/WhatsApp group.

Norway’s = nor was I

Love these haha! I like Thornton's chocolates, I don't have a cleaner and often eat cereal for dinner

Ooh yes firsttimemamma, I was also proposed to, with ring and we were engaged for a few years before we married. I changed my name AND my dad walked me down the aisle.

I’m optimistic 😆

I think private schools have their place, and I don't buy second hand stuff for my son. I also drive a 4x4, vote Tory and think most Farrow and Ball paints are very dull.

@BillMasen

I’m a man

And on MN that means you're automatically in the wrong

Really hate that about this place.

@CrochetToTheMoon

Ooh yes firsttimemamma, I was also proposed to, with ring and we were engaged for a few years before we married. I changed my name AND my dad walked me down the aisle.

Oh your poor loves. I hope you open your eyes to the oppression you face. You must leave your controlling DHs at once!

I don’t use abbreviations such as DH DD DS.

Nor do I use words like naice or norks.

I answer my front door.

Ooh yes that one too. I'm not hiding in terror every time my doorbell goes.

Pointless bit of sarcasm there, @devildeepbluesea, but hope that made you feel better.
Some of us have valid reasons for not appreciating pop-in visits.

I’m not honest and open with my children. I give them heavily filtered versions of events; they are far too young to understand some things and I’m not going to introduce them to things which they won’t understand and will only worry them unnecessarily.

I can't be bothered with getting involved in (or looking for or instigating) drama in relationships/friendships.

I don't think that the response to every relationship question is 'LTB'.

I can't stand all the 'curtain twitching' comments.

I wouldn't get pissed off if my poor old mum couldn't do childcare anymore!

BillMasen

Oh how brave of you, on any other thread we’d have “a man has entered” comments

I’m a socialist.

I don’t feel like I was socialised as a woman to put everyone else’s feelings before my own - I’m happily selfish and put myself first.

I don’t hate or avoid confrontation - I’m comfortable telling someone if they’ve upset or annoyed me.

I don’t drive but I don’t expect lifts.

Any left over chicken from a roast is given to the cats or thrown away.

I think electric cars, unless buying second hand, are an absolute swizz, financially and ecologically. Emporers new clothes indeed.

I'm working class.
I don't use social media.
I buy my kids new clothes all the time even if I KNOW the other mums at nursery think I'm a massive chav because DD is always well turned out for nursery (really dont get this weird almost reverse snobbery and seriously whats it to them anyway)

BarmyFarmy

I’m a lost cause!