Not Economic Immigrants and the British class system

[Fressia123]

I know this probably has been done and nauseam but it still intrigues me. Where do immigrants fit into the the British class system? And I don't mean the type that end up here because they're looking for a better life but rather because they married a Brit. Do they inherit their spouses' class?

Where I'm from I'm upper middle/ upper class. People think I'm a snob but it's not like I can erase my upbringing.
The other day I visited my SIL and felt stupid to mention my DMs housekeeper and gardener (it was within context). I sometimes have to clarify that by "nanny" I mean that and not my grandmother.

Obviously my life here is vastly different to what I grew up in, but I know for certain I don't have to worry about retirement and that bank of mum and dad will always have my back. That o was classically trained in piano and went to expensive private schools. I still care about the finer things in life.

So bottom line would I be working class like my DP or middle/upper that I was born in?

What "class" people are has never occurred to me when meeting anyone and I've met people from all sorts of backgrounds.
I wouldn't label you with any class.

Why do you care what class you're perceived as? Rather more important is the perception of your character. Our local Duke has a 60 inch TV and a slab of beer on display, and the Duchess organises cage fights. All very Guy Ritchie, but then when your family's in Shakespeare you can do what you want. That's the confidence to aim for.

I find interesting from a socio-anthropologic POV. Classes don't translate as well as I thought as they would. The concept of middle class is completely different here for example. And I've been called a Chelsea princess more than once.

You sound like a bit of a snob to me.

Your SIL will have thought you’re looking down your nose at her.

Why does it matter?

Obviously my life here is vastly different to what I grew up in, but I know for certain I don't have to worry about retirement and that bank of mum and dad will always have my back. That o was classically trained in piano and went to expensive private schools. I still care about the finer things in life.

It doesn't matter but oddly enough apart from with fellow expats / people with similar backgrounds I have never been able to integrate into British society at all.

Define “integrate”? What does that mean to you?

In the context in which you’re asking, class is in the eye of the beholder — your social class of origin in another country isn’t ‘visible’ in the UK, so you’re as you appear here, primarily, and how you figure on UK class shibboleths, and how much economic, social and cultural capital you have.

What do you do for a living? How educated are you? What is your income? Do you, for instance, have a piano you play regularly in your house, and what is that house like — what kinds of houses are nearby? How do you speak? What are your passions in leisure time? Who are your friends? What do the people you know socially do for a living? Etc

I think you are confusing your lifestyle of having wealthy parents with that of good breeding.

Wealth does not equate to being in a certain class. If you win the lottery you aren’t suddenly propelled into the echelons if high society.

Whoever called you a Chelsea Princess is taking the rise out of you and implying that you act as if you are the lady of the manner when it’s obvious to everyone’s else you are as common as the rest of them.

I’m similar in that my parents are very well off but only by the circumstance of my father training to be an accountant and becoming very successful. They are both from poor backgrounds.

They certainly aren’t posh and have no interest in pomp and live frugally.

I would label you as middle class becuase it seems to be this group that care the most about what others think of them and where they belong, probably because of insecurity.

@weepingwillow22

I would label you as middle class becuase it seems to be this group that care the most about what others think of them and where they belong, probably because of insecurity.

I had never questioned where I belonged back home. But I've never met anyone with similar life experiences over here. (Apart from one lady and I guess in some ways she's the one I get along with the most but again she isn't British).

My maternal side is proper old money.

You sound so smug.

IF you come across like this in real life I’m not surprised you feel you don’t fit in.

I think your class/position the society here will depend on how transferable your previous status is to this country. I would imagine it's not, based on the fact that you do not feel integrated here. From my own experience as a non economic migrant, you have to start your life from scratch. If you had good education, it should help you but only if you are in the right environment surrounded by people of similar level.

Well, what do you mean by ‘life experiences’?

My parents are immigrants to the UK. My dad was considered a huge asset in one of his jobs as, not himself being a member of any British class, he was able to cut across class and be accepted by all classes at a time when management and factory floor were beginning to have more interaction.

My siblings and I were all sent to private schools, where we picked up class manners and attitudes (tempered by our home attitudes). We made good friends at school, but our parents, despite having strong friendships with a huge range of people outside school, and inviting and being invited by our friends' parents never made any real friendships with our friends' parents.

It became clear to us that we were not perceived to be the same class as our classmates. Similarly other immigrant classmates, Jewish, Muslim and Hindu classmates and scholarship classmates. That attitude came almost entirely from classmates' parents. We were most definitely not 'posh'.

But the whole of my adult life, far away from my schooldays, not mixing in those circles any more, everyone thinks I'm posh. Because of my accent, my manners, my comfort if I am among privileged people, everyone else things I'm posh and of that class.

So it's weird: anyone who is not posh thinks I am posh, everyone who is posh knows I am not posh.

I've travelled quite a bit and lived in many places. For example with my MIL she once made a comment that she wouldn't understand why would anyone move out of the UK/to other countries I didn't find her comment offensive but definitely odd considering I was there.

I don't know anything/have no interest about soap operas / reality shows (beyond MasterChef). With the guys at work I connect well but they're considerably younger and we all share the same passion.

But mums in general I've never been able to make any friends whatsoever.

In respect of what class you'd integrate into as an immigrant, realistically you probably wouldn't. You'd be 'other'. Same as DH in his village in Somerset because his parents weren't born there!

Otherwise I think you'd keep your own class. DM's parents were professional but grew up in Salford slums, DStepF went to boarding school and his grandparents were gentry.

He's still upper middle despite marrying my DM, he hasn't 'dropped a class':, DM is still probably lower middle despite marrying him, she hasn't suddenly become posh.

DStepF always said he was downwardly mobile and DM upwardly mobile so they met in the middle.

It's all nonsense really.

Non-economic migrant? You mean expat?

I don't see any British person calling themselves or anyone they know in another country a 'non-economic migrant'. Not even an 'economic migrant', even when they've admitted to going there for a 'better life' (bigger house, better wages, nicer lifestyle. Isn't that what immigrants are chasing too?). They're all expats. That's what you are too, m'dear.

I am an expat (I've actually said that in the thread). But I moved countries for marriage not for work.

Also, I'm not entirely sure if it's that I'm just too "other". I sound very American, but I'm also a mix of cultures and religion. So I get that I look/sound/behave different (aside from class) but not sure if it's class or background related.

@Fressia123

I've travelled quite a bit and lived in many places. For example with my MIL she once made a comment that she wouldn't understand why would anyone move out of the UK/to other countries I didn't find her comment offensive but definitely odd considering I was there.

I don't know anything/have no interest about soap operas / reality shows (beyond MasterChef). With the guys at work I connect well but they're considerably younger and we all share the same passion.

But mums in general I've never been able to make any friends whatsoever.

Well, I’ve lived in several different parts of five countries (on three continents, and in lots of languages, if we’re counting) over the past 25 years, and my MIL (same nationality) has barely left her city of birth — but I’m not sure what you think that proves? Your MIL possibly thinks you were terribly lucky to meet her son and move to the UK, but again, not sure what you think that suggests? She hasn’t lived in other countries, and is not terribly imaginative?

I don’t think I’ve ever watched a soap in my life, or a reality show, anywhere I’ve lived, unless I was trying to improve my aural comprehension in a new language. Again, all that suggests is that different people like different things. My taste for gloomy French films and art documentaries would make my ILs’ brains glaze over, and they’re rabid sports fans, whereas I can barely tell a football match from a rugby one.

Are you saying you haven’t been able to make friends with other women with children in the UK?

Nope not even one! The ones I'm friends with are fellow expats (and only one lives locally).

Oh, and I am not originally from the UK, either, I came to study and stayed. Also a ‘confusing’ mix of backgrounds for many, but it never stopped me making friends. Where in the UK, roughly, are you? My only low point in friendships was in a fantastically insular village in the Midlands, but I made good friends in London, Oxford and Cornwall.