Could you marry for money ?

[Lardlizard]

?

I would rather make my own.

Morally I have no objection but I couldn't do it because I'm lazy and couldn't be arsed to do all the things you would need to do as your part of the bargain. Eh Stay slim, make up all the time, good mood, yes dear attitude, be a smiling decoration on his arm, turn a blind eye to whatever funny business he got up to, etc etc.
It's got to be love for me I'm afraid because I want to be able to slob out on the sofa binge watching Netflix and demolishing a bucket of ice cream. 😁

Why do you think you will have to do more with a man you married for money than a poor or average man you married for love? Because both will want sex and expect you to look the same as when married you or will pull the old im not attracted to you anymore. A poor man is just as likely to stray. Have you not seen Jeremy Kyle where fuckers who dont have a penny to their name breeding left right and centre with half the estate?
I think it's clever if you can land a rich one. They all leave or turn a bit shit in the end..might as well get something out of it.
Trouble is rich men have so much competition from far more attractive women.

I'd have to be attracted to them otherwise I'd likely cheat & end up with nothing.

I would rather make my own.

Wouldn’t we all, mate. However, the majority of people aren’t capable of making enough money to propel them into the ‘rich’ category. ThenOP’s question is about what you’d do to get there.

@thelegohooverer raises a good question:

I’m curious what this thread would be like if earning your own money wasn’t possible. We’re an incredibly privileged generation of women to be in a position to reject the notion of marrying for money.

It’s not so long ago that women didn’t get a sniff at the top-paying jobs. It’s less than 50 years since equal pay legislation was passed. However, if we were in 1820, or even 1920, I suspect that the replies would be very different.

I was intrigued to read that at least one poster ‘could have set out to meet a multi-billionaire’. Is she Heidi Klum or a movie star? I ask because most people don’t tend to happen across multi-billionaires for romantic opportunities, even if they shop at Waitrose.

For all round stability but needs to be compatible too

I wouldn't marry a man without ambition & drive though & didn't.

I chose my partner for the wrong, shallow reasons, predominantly lust, admiration of his looks and the thought of how beautiful our child would be. I would not do this again if I got a second chance at love. Being older and wiser, compatibility would be key now. Money has never entered my head however. I always planned to be completely self sufficient financially and I am. The thought of relying on a man for money is very unappealing for me.

There are women known to hang around footballers bolts and in posh hotel bars to engineer catching a millionaire. I suspect in these situations the millionaire would be accustomed to that old truck by glorified high end escorts that they would be suspiscious. Best is running or cycling clubs, exclusive gyms or expensive hobbies like flying.

I married for love not money. I married a hardworking man who now makes a lot of money (25 years later) and I earn a decent whack too, so while I wouldn't have the life I do now if we split, I would certainly be ok on my own. I would never want to rely on someone else's earnings.

My friend married into a very rich family around the same time and hasn't worked since. They live in the most beautiful house I've ever seen, have fabulous cars, holidays, clothes etc. She's bloody miserable. She's spent these last year's hosting and being the 'perfect' wife while he shags his way round the county. The DC's are older now and she feels completely trapped because her earning ability as a 50 year old who hasn't worked for 25 years is limited.

I kind of have. I mean I’m definitely attracted to DP but the fact that he has a good income really helps. He isn’t even really rich, just not poor struggling from paycheque to paycheque.

@Quads4x4

Why not? Sex goes to pot after children and love fades anyway. Money, mutual respect and shared values are the best foundation. Holding off for fairytale love stories do us no good.

That's a very dour view. DH and I have been together nearly 30 years and are still very much in love. Sex is still great, too.

It very depends on what you want. I could never have tolerated a marriage where we ended up like fond house mates [shudders] For me, marriage had to be more passionate and more intimate than just a regular friendship coupled with children.

I wish I had thought of his earning potential and ripped the rose tinted specs off quickly. Men turn into miserable arses in old age... Fact.

You should be hardworking yourself and look to marry someone hardworking. But also compatibility, similar interests, values and humour are vital to marital happiness.

Jane Austen's stories show the necessity of marriage for the financial security of women back in the 1800s. It makes an interesting contrast to our choices today.

No. I believe you should take vows with a person you truly love.

There was a thread on here a while back where many said that money/job role was something they looked for in a partner. Made me quite sad that so many though that was ok.

I believe in the tradition meaning of marriage that it is about love, not a contract or security if anything was to happen.

I think you'll find for many thousands of years and still often today in many parts of the world that marriage is all about women as property to be "sold" for political or social gain. Dynasties cemented by a powerful marriage, right down to a girl sold for some food for the younger children.
To be able to marry for love is a luxury not afforded to all.

I know someone who married for money. She comes from a culture with arranged marriages and she asked her family to find her someone with money.

This person is a science teacher, so makes decisions with her head, not her heart. I don't regard them as a gold digger, I think they must made a sensible decision for them.

No, I like to be self sufficient and I'm proud that I am. Life has taught me that things can quickly go bum up and I'm massively relieved that I'm in a position to support myself and my daughter.

No. I will never make myself financially dependent on a man and similarly I will never let a man be financially dependent on me

@Iamthewombat that was me, and I'm neither Heidi Klum or a movie star. I simply meant that because I'm financially independent I couldn't marry someone to pay the bills or to provide security because I already have that. i.e it would need to be the super rich private jet lifestyle to be something so far out of reach it would be worth marrying for.

I don't move in Hollywood circles but they do exist outside that.

No, you said that you could have set out to meet and marry a multi billionaire. I’m curious about how you think you would have done that? Not because I’m looking for tips but because I’m genuinely interested in how you think you would have encountered somebody with a ‘super rich private jet lifestyle’.

I too am financially independent, and I work in a high status profession, but I can’t envisage ever declaring that I ‘could have set out to marry a billionaire’. Feels a bit deluded, I’m afraid.

No! In fact I did quite the opposite as my hubby was 17 with nothing when we met.

@Iamthewombat as I said, I've encountered them, just not through work or my regular preferred social life. It's not, and never would be me, but if in my early 20's I had made it my goal to obtain one old enough to be my father, there's no reason why I couldn't have been successful as others are. I'm not deluded enough to think that my lifestyle, attitude or personal choice of appearance even in my 20's would have attracted anyone looking for a trophy, unless I'd sacrificed all that to conform. But if you choose to think I'm deluded to say I have ever met people that live that jet set lifestyle then so be it.

No, I was quite clear that I think that you are deluded to say that you could have attracted, in your own words, ‘a multi billionaire’ for marriage if you had set out to do so.

That is why I asked, jokingly, whether you were Heidi Klum (who had a child with an Italian billionaire) or a movie star. You are clearly neither. Although you evidently think that you could have been if you had “sacrificed all that to conform”. How noble of you to hide the light of your world class beauty, charm and intelligence under a bushel,, all for your principles.

I think you should stop digging that hole now.