Help me to forget about killing DP

[Ltdannygreen]

DP is currently at home isolating as he was apparently in contact (through his job) with someone that had COVID, he’s already tested negative but apparently has to wait out the isolation period. Let’s just say I’ve had a burning rage to kill him the last few days. We aren’t the living in each other’s pocket type of family so it’s been very testing. He’s been overly helpful to the point I’ve wanted to strangle him, comes to tell me the same things several times a day. He’s interfering in the way I do things that I’ve been doing the last 13 years since dc was born. He’s left The home side of things to me the last 13 years so I’ve established a routine. I appreciate it’s not his fault and he can’t help it but so god help me if I have to hear a rundown off the headlines again I’m gonna lose my shit.

Tell me your ‘I’m gonna kill DP/dh’ stories.... 😩

Laundry basket. My DH can put things beside the laundry basket, on top of the laundry basket lid, but has no concept of inside the laundry basket. He’s a fully functioning, capable man, he more than pulls his weight at home but this one thing may find him under the patio.

Teaching me how to cook an omelette.

When l taught him in the first place.

And just being ‘around’ ALL the time.

Just go with your emotions. Hiding the body is the tricky bit, apparently.

Mines more of a you thoughtless twat and my over reaction.

He gets a lovely free xmas lunch brought in by caterers at work..he works for a small and nice company that really look after them. I'm glad that he does..at least one of gets treated ok. I work for the nhs, in a department that does the cleaning and we get fucked over all the time..dont even like us having a drink and we get shouted at so much for stupid things. Its demoralizing. We are on covid wards too. I lost my job early this year and I also havent been very well
Dp had his lunch today and made this big thing about bringing me home mince pies as none of them like them. To be honest it would have made my day as I've had an utter shit one. But no the fucker forgets them, and strolls in without so much as a shrug and well they will be there tomorrow stop moaning.
No you twat it was the thought, you knew it was the little thing that would have meant a lot and that hurts.

Yes I know I've over reacted but I still want to kill him arghh

Mine hangs the washing out on the airers each week, it's his job apparently. Unfortunately he scrunches stuff up so it doesn't actually dry and when it does it's crumpled and smells musty. If I rearrange said washing or suggest it might be better to shake it out and place one item per rung I am being ungrateful and interfering. Arghhhhhh!!!!

Oh God OP. Well, on the whole we are on the whole others pockets family and I'm ok with spending all weekend and evening with DH. I cope with that because I don't have to all day in the week and then I have a nice calm routine with DS. DH has now been off work since first lockdown. During that time he has done lots of DIY, creating a tonne of mess. Talked incessantly. Made lots of plans that I need to be involved in discussing. Cooked a lot, creating more mess. I still do the normal jobs and to be fair he does do a good amount but somehow still manages to get out of doing things by doing something completely unnecessary but still 'useful.' Not only that but he's a ridiculously relaxed parent, would happily watch telly all day and eat rubbish so I'm having to put my foot down all the time! Oh and then in the last 6 months DS has gone from a few short sentences to talking all.day.long. I am absolutely frazzled, if I'm not talking about something with DH then I'm playing the role of Peter Rabbits mum and god forbid I forget and call my DS by his actual name! Agree about laundry too Jellycatspyjamas, if I find another pair of socks just left in the kitchen or by the sofa I think I'll explode!

What is it about men and hanging the washing on airers 🤣

Mind you my 18 year old daughter is the same. I wince and inwardly scream when I see her putting stuff on the airer, it's all over the place and scrunched up.
Me well it's all smoothed, neat, symmetrical, hung according to colour and what looks good on the outside..underwear and socks get hidden on the unseen lower bits 😂

DP doesn’t hang on airers, but on the odd occasion when he feels like it in the summer he will attempt to hang washing on the line, me and my mum ( who childcares for us) will go along and correct it otherwise it wouldn’t dry even in 30 degree weather 😂 he can’t load the dishwasher properly, he always overlaps stuff which means it doesn’t wash properly. The other day when I was at work he attempted to do a white wash and put it on the programme so my mum had to show him, not that he will ever use it when he goes back to work.

I know I'm not alone in this one but my 'd'h cannot wring out a sponge and will slick water all of the worktops so they dry all smeary. I am actually going to divorce him over this (straw that broke the camel's back but still!)

@1point21gigawatts

Mine hangs the washing out on the airers each week, it's his job apparently. Unfortunately he scrunches stuff up so it doesn't actually dry and when it does it's crumpled and smells musty. If I rearrange said washing or suggest it might be better to shake it out and place one item per rung I am being ungrateful and interfering. Arghhhhhh!!!!

Mine does exactly this. For a supposedly pretty intelligent guy, he has almost zero common sense

@AnotherVice

I know I'm not alone in this one but my 'd'h cannot wring out a sponge and will slick water all of the worktops so they dry all smeary. I am actually going to divorce him over this (straw that broke the camel's back but still!)

Mine also does this. He doesn't wring he squeezes. A puny, pathetic, weak little squeeze

Replacing the toilet roll is the thing that might push me over the edge...and cause me to push him over the edge of the next high place I see him standing!
In our downstairs loo DH decided to position the toilet roll holder directly above the cistern. This means that, once finished on the loo and in need of a piece of tissue, one must either stand up and turn around or swivel round and twist ones back to an uncomfortable angle to grab said tissue. It is ridiculous. Clearly DH finds it an issue because he leaves a roll upon the cistern rather than replacing it onto the holder.
At present DH is worth more to me alive than dead so I have developed a way of easily obtaining tissue and pissing him off at the same time. At knee level, when sitting, is a cupboard beneath the basin. I keep a tissue roll in this and use from there. I also replace his cistern roll into the cupboard each and every time I walk past or use that loo. It is driving him mad and giving me a strange satisfaction.

Mind you my 18 year old daughter is the same. I wince and inwardly scream when I see her putting stuff on the airer, it's all over the place and scrunched up

My DD is the same too. When she face-times me from uni and I can see her airer in the background all I want to do is drive up there and straighten the bloody thing out.

We’ve spent more time together this year and I’ve discovered just how fucking annoying he is to share a sofa with. Flicking his toes, picking his feet and he makes me want to kill him by kicking at the floor so the whole sofa shakes. We’ve been together 25 years and he’s always been a fidget but I’ve never really got to the point I want to beat him to death with a cushion until now

We live in London and I've spent the past 6 hours researching ways for me to stay in a hotel ALONE, before the new year for a few nights, just to get away. I don't care if I'm only two minutes down the road, I need space.

I thought the office in the garden would be sufficient. The man is everywhere I don't want him to be all the time, except when I need him, and he somehow completely disappears in our small home.

@1point21gigawatts

Mine hangs the washing out on the airers each week, it's his job apparently. Unfortunately he scrunches stuff up so it doesn't actually dry and when it does it's crumpled and smells musty. If I rearrange said washing or suggest it might be better to shake it out and place one item per rung I am being ungrateful and interfering. Arghhhhhh!!!!

Mine does this....he tries 😂

@1point21gigawatts Are we married to the same man? Whoever said, 'It doesn't have to be perfect, just so long as it gets done' has not seen the way my husband hangs laundry. My children have followed suit, with explosive tantrums when I gently correct them - and I am really really nice!

My DH is going back to work in January and is worrying about things like how DS will get up and out without DH to help.

1. DS is 17
2. I’ve got him out of the house on time for school every single day until DH took over in September.

Haha, Chewbecca, mine is worrying about the same thing! He's not going back to the office until "at least May" but is already fretting about how I'll manage the school run on my own. Same way I've been managing it for the last eight years, pal. He's also worrying I'll be lonely in the house by myself once he's in the office and its only me at home during the day which 1, assumes I will be staying in the house once everything is open again and 2, assumes I won't be running around the house whooping for joy at finally having some solitude.

My DH is not back to office til at least April. He is fixated with the sink and dishwasher. I worked from home 40% before in lovely peace and quiet. Now it's unloading/ reloading dishwasher, polishing the sink over and over. I asked him to leave it til later but we NEED the sink to be clear to wash our hands. Which he doesn't. He doesn't go out either. He just helpfully tells me that we have run out of bread/paracetamol/milk when the last crumb is used like I have magic fairy powers.

My OH is always slightly cold, so will put the heating on full blast, without putting on a jumper first, and leaves all the doors open so the heat escapes. If he could see the looks I give him....

Headphones. Spotify. Audiobooks. These have kept me sane since March!

@Keepingcomfy

My OH is always slightly cold, so will put the heating on full blast, without putting on a jumper first, and leaves all the doors open so the heat escapes. If he could see the looks I give him....

Oh my god - we work in the same room which he prefers freezing cold and no lights on. It’s like working on a bloody cave! No wonder he has his own office at work!

@Keepingcomfy

My OH is always slightly cold, so will put the heating on full blast, without putting on a jumper first, and leaves all the doors open so the heat escapes. If he could see the looks I give him....

Yep... not just DP that does this, they all moan that they are freezing but will quite happily leave doors open so the heat escapes. I spend a majority of my day in the winter walking around closing doors 🤦🏼‍♀️

@ThatIsNotMyUsername

Headphones. Spotify. Audiobooks. These have kept me sane since March!

Headphones don’t work.... I’ll be earphone free for ages the minute I put them in he wants to tell me something, he can tell by my voice it fucks me off, even worse now he’s stuck in the house.

You don’t even have to switch them on... just pretend you are listening to something fascinating!