Help me to forget about killing DP

[Ltdannygreen]

DP is currently at home isolating as he was apparently in contact (through his job) with someone that had COVID, he’s already tested negative but apparently has to wait out the isolation period. Let’s just say I’ve had a burning rage to kill him the last few days. We aren’t the living in each other’s pocket type of family so it’s been very testing. He’s been overly helpful to the point I’ve wanted to strangle him, comes to tell me the same things several times a day. He’s interfering in the way I do things that I’ve been doing the last 13 years since dc was born. He’s left The home side of things to me the last 13 years so I’ve established a routine. I appreciate it’s not his fault and he can’t help it but so god help me if I have to hear a rundown off the headlines again I’m gonna lose my shit.

Tell me your ‘I’m gonna kill DP/dh’ stories.... 😩

If I started typing I'd never stop on this subject! Just bloody everything

DJ is obsessed with washing pots. We have a dishwasher.

He puts them in hot soapy water then leaves them😷

Then washes them in the cold manky water🤮 and he’s always at the sink all the bloody time. ALL the time faffing with his disgusting soup of bacteria.

I put anything he washes in the dishwasher. His work is a wasted effort. I’ve given up telling him.

Apparently my stacking of the dishwasher just isn’t up to par. My BIL declares that his wife doesn’t put the laundry into the machine properly.

Odd boys.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow “soup of bacteria” properly made me laugh!

Oh yes! The moment I put my earphones in to listen to a book then he wants a long conversation but he doesn't wait until I've paused my book so I end up not knowing what he is on about to start with.

He also wants "to do more together" I'm clinging onto what shreds of sanity i have left.

Rare plants on top of the burial mound, that way they cannot be dug up.

Yep, all of these things resonate with me (except we have a tumble drier, because DH's airer technique would drive me loopy) - the loo rolls, the towels, the scrunched up dishcloth that'll never dry, the mouse portion of leftovers, the pan soaking, aaargh!

So I suggested he live in his parents old house when his tenants did a bunk at the beginning of lockdown. He moved in there, refurnished it, and we couldn't be happier now we've decided to actually call it a day Amicable separation and my house is always tidy and left just how I want it! His house is a shit tip, the bathroom is disgusting, and DC(16) who stays there most of the week says it's minging (not that DC can be arsed to do anything about it of course!!) I'm very smug

I found out DH was having an emotional affair just before lockdown and I want to be away from him, his protestations of regret, how much he realised he loved me, how stupid he's been, how we can get it back and it can be better.

I want to tell him to leave me the fuck alone to grieve, to stop trying to make things better and when he told me yesterday he only has to go into the office for 9 days until the end of March I could have slapped his happy face.

On the upside he's done the school run every day and is good at hanging out the washing and even putting it away. The wringing out the kitchen cloth is another matter and DS pisses me off only coming downstairs after he's heard me empty the dishwasher but we soldier on regardless!

We’ve been playing a lot of cards. Usually a game I taught him and there is a point (like in rummy) where you ‘open’ your hand. You also have to ‘put down’ or discard a card each turn. He uses the term ‘drop’ or ‘dropped’ for both of these actions and it makes me want to scream. The game goes on for a number of rounds and I really have to bite my tongue.

@pinkcheesy and Twinkle01. Similar situation. Wanted him to leave, pandemic struck and he has no job since March. So stuck here for foreseeable.
But , Oh , the fricking endless cups of tea! Mess all over , always running out of milk . Then there is the washing all over the place.
Daugather is also home now and rearranging my kitchen and not to my liking . They do a lot of cooking and attempt to clean up. So my evenings, while they are watching TV or she is on laptop, is spent undoing all the mess they make as I hate to start the day in chaos.
It is a very hard time for people , no wonder people are at maximum stress levels.

The clothes airer thing does drive me a bit mad.
Others' system in this house is as follows:
Put heavy things next to heavy things, jeans touching other jeans, etc
Then leave airer and clothes completely untouched for at least five days
At no point visit the airer to take away things that might be dry and spread out the others, turn jeans inside out, do anything sensible whatsoever

Teenage SDC now do the above with their own laundry, but with the addition of extreme crumpling. I uncrumple on the sly.

Hiding the body is the tricky bit, apparently.

Some days, I just look at the patio stones in a meaningful way. Other times I find myself asking DH whether I need to go and measure up the patio stones.

We have been 'together' for nearly thirty years but both used to travel a lot so being in the same house at the same was a treat, like a holiday, until this year.

I've read through this thread wondering which of DHs tricks to mention. Top of the list is probably the noise he makes with his mouth and teeth when working, I kid you not, it's just like a tap dripping.

Rare plants on top of the burial mound, that way they cannot be dug up.

That has made me absolutely howl laughing!

Mine likes to point things out. Never actually does anything unless asked.

"That bins full again"

"The kids haven't put everything in the dishwasher"

"The living room floor could do with a hoover"

At this point just kill me!

DP has several irritating ways, the most irritating of which is his absolute inability to remove a slice of bread from the bag without folding at least 2 slices of bread so that they fold and crack which makes it impossible to use them in sandwiches as the fold is never in the 'right' place. He's a 'slice diver' - never takes the top slice, always has to go for the 3rd one down. Occasionally I have this little day dream - I'm being interrogated and the male detective is asking me why I killed him. I explain about the 'slice diving' and his female colleague turns to him and say 'we've gotta let her go Guv - no jury will ever convict her'.

He also leaves every light on in the house and turns the heating on when wearing tshirt & shorts in the depths of winter. And as for the sock that got left on the sofa for about 7 weeks until he eventually moved it to the floor beside the washing machine - least said

Feeling the clothes airer pain. We do separate washing so it's none of my business but just having to look at the crumpled cottons at the bottom getting dank while the bone dry footie kit at the top sits for days makes me wonder how tf men got a reputation for being logical.

Earbuds and audiobook............. I can happily listen for hours while pottering. DH will come and find me, start talking at me, when I say 'hang on' as I turn audiobook book off he does this huge sad/angry sigh followed by 'no, no, it's fine. You don't want me to talk to you. You wouldn't have them in if you were happy for me to come and find you to talk'. I've tried pointing out that expecting me to spend hours pottering in silence on the off chance he wants to come and lecture me about something is ridiculous. I just get more wounded sighing.

I do hear that a good layer of compost in the planting hole helps things break down more quickly.

Apparently mental health roblems are just because you aren't strong and can't cope; not because things (mum dying, family member committing suicide and having the cat put down) are just too much/many and close together.

And I should pull myself together

Oh and he does the 'complaining about the children to me rather than them

Mind you his airer, sponge and line drying skills are superb!

Taking the last item from a packet and returning the empty packet to the shelf
Leaving every bloody light on
Leaving the door wide open on a freezing day to let all the heat out
Making up or messing with recipes, adding so may mismatched ingredients that it tastes horrible but he thinks he's added his magic touch and now it's amazing
Starting complaints or criticism with "Sweetheart..."
Commandeering the washing machine for an entire day because he has one load he wants to do
Leaving empty bottles of stuff all over the bathroom
Having a pill or remedy for any real or imagined illness to the extent of filling an entire kitchen double cupboard
Not cleaning the loo after a dump
Spitting toothpaste in the sink and leaving it
On the odd occasion he has to multitask because I'm working late complaining of exhaustion (welcome to my world)
Leaving crap all over the inside of his car and mine
Smoking a bloody vape thing

Sigh. That was cathartic

He’s just been messing with his bacteria soup now! Whilst I’ve been coming in the corner.

Vomming!!! Not coming!!!

And last night l asked him to light a scented candle.

Unknown to me, he balanced it in the edge of the mantelpiece (mainly off)next to some inflammable Xmas decorations. It was rescued by screaming 14 year old dd.

We had a house fire 6 years ago. Why hadn’t he learnt!!!!

Mine listens to podcasts and then will tell me every single thing that gets talked about in them, usually while I'm trying to work.

For a start, I'm working. Secondly, if I wanted to know every single thing that happened in the podcast I'd listen to it myself.

DP's ability to 'zone out' does my head in. I know I'm lucky that it's pretty much the only thing that annoys me, but I can be asking him questions or telling him things and if he's watching a video on his phone, or texting, it's like it didn't happen, he just doesn't hear it at all. Sometimes, I'll ask a question, and then leave it if he doesn't answer (as it annoys me more to try and grab his attention) and then he'll answer it literally 5-10 minutes later, as if I've just asked it. That's how long it takes to get into his brain!

Zoning out does my head in.

Like they are so important that they don’t have to pay attention.

My husband gets the rage if anyone leaves lights on but routinely does it himself. And seems incapable of turning off the tv when he has finished watching it and left the room. It drives me insane.

I should have known when we met though - I used to stay over at his, he would get up early to go to work, he would leave the bedroom having turned on the light ( I am still sleeping or trying to) and leave the light on! Go out the front door having watched TV in the living room with his breakfast and leave it turned on! On full volume! I mean...who does this??

He also comes and observes me while I cook, turning the gas down on things when I move away from the hob, stirring things after I have just stirred them, etc. Give me strength...