Help me to forget about killing DP

[Ltdannygreen]

DP is currently at home isolating as he was apparently in contact (through his job) with someone that had COVID, he’s already tested negative but apparently has to wait out the isolation period. Let’s just say I’ve had a burning rage to kill him the last few days. We aren’t the living in each other’s pocket type of family so it’s been very testing. He’s been overly helpful to the point I’ve wanted to strangle him, comes to tell me the same things several times a day. He’s interfering in the way I do things that I’ve been doing the last 13 years since dc was born. He’s left The home side of things to me the last 13 years so I’ve established a routine. I appreciate it’s not his fault and he can’t help it but so god help me if I have to hear a rundown off the headlines again I’m gonna lose my shit.

Tell me your ‘I’m gonna kill DP/dh’ stories.... 😩

Makes huffing, puffing noises ALL the time, plus extra grunting and groaning at random moments to keep me on my toes Tell him he sounds like a porn film soundtrack!

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

And last night l asked him to light a scented candle.

Unknown to me, he balanced it in the edge of the mantelpiece (mainly off)next to some inflammable Xmas decorations. It was rescued by screaming 14 year old dd.

We had a house fire 6 years ago. Why hadn’t he learnt!!!!

Was that his fault?

Mine will very neatly lay one damp towel over another on the towel rail so that BOTH OF THEM WILL NEVER DRY

Why does he not understand simple physics?

And yes yes to putting clothes out on the airer so that they are so slow to dry end up smelling mouldy. Urghhh

I swear there's a prototype,and we all seem to have the defective one😂

Mine has lost his job and while it's nice to have him here,I think I'm going to be charged with murder.

It's the not leaving me alone for a minute.Even taking my hearing aids out don't make a difference.I can still bloody see him😂

No, it was a tumble dryer!

Ugh, not sure about that! Maybe he they do need washing the right side out. If he sheds skin.... is he a lizard?🦎

They don’t need tumbling. It’s the washing that shifts the dirt. Not sure about scales!😁

And I leave breakfast things out till kids go to school.
And everyday without fail,he puts everything away again.

Like there's a reason stuff is there,leave it alone ffs

Mine is very well trained but goodness me the War of the Thermostat may bring us to the edge. Just bloody leave it alone!

Why can’t they decide things for themselves. If he does dinner. It’s shall we have dinner ... what shall we have .... how shall I do the potatoes .... what shall we have with it.
When I cook dinner I just cook dinner. I don’t ask 20 questions on wether we should have ketchup with it or not. Just cook bloody dinner.

Mine doesnt wash up properly either. Thinks hes amazing in the washing up department. Told me it's his speciality when in reality he leaves stuck on food and scum all over the plates and then mops the kitchen sides with the sponge 🤣

@WinterGarden633

Mine has this bizarre inability to follow The Stair System; if something is at the bottom and it should be at the top, take it with you when you next go up. If it is at the top and should be at the bottom, take it with you when you next go down. Simple, yes? I am married to a man who I have seen with mine own eyes JUMPING OVER the laundry basket and three pairs of shoes at the bottom of the stairs and has still said “Oh, do they need to go up? I didn’t see them...” Does anyone else have husbands who claim that the Stair System is a complete mystery?

Not 'the stair system' but pretending he can't see things, drives me mental! So I'll say "didn't you realise that recycling had to go out?" He'll say "oh, no I didn't see it." Eh? It's at the back door, he's had to MOVE IT to get out of the door

@PinkPurpleFlowers

If mine ever came to the supermarket with me, he insisted in walking down each aisle, up one and down the other, so that we didn’t miss anything 🙄

Oh, I do this!! OH is like you, he wants to be in and out. I have to see everything

It’s easier for me to just do things myself rather than wait for him to.

Here is the nub of one of the problems.

At work, you would never do the work of new analysts just because they doing things more slowly than the experienced staff.

Everyone was new at some point, they need to be trained in what is required and allowed to find their own style of doing things.

And he answers every question with another question. I actually think he has become incapable of giving a straight answer to anything.

@PinkPurpleFlowers mine does this. At a really slow rate. And just behind me so I spend my entire time looking backwards. Walk at a normal pace like a normal person .... ur not a snail

The fucking chewing. Eat slower and close your damn mouth.

"I've put the bins out."
"They don't go out on a Wednesday any more"
"When did that change?"
"Two years go."

Stuff like that makes me realise he thinks the bins are put out every week by the f*cking bin fairy.

It’s the things he usually does by himself but because I’m there all of a sudden requires my help, I then get pissed off and ask why he can do it himself when I’m not there and his answer is always I’d do it if you asked. It drives me nuts.

He’s also a slice diver, he doesn’t break the bread but it winds me up.

He also leaves everything on my side table, gets a letter, on my Side table, parcel, the packaging left on my side table. He will see my face then say that he will move it in the morning, queue 3 days later, I lose my shit and he says I said I’d move it. Yeah 3 days ago....

Pretty sure he does things crap on purpose so he knows I won’t ask him....

Just a few words...”shut the fucking bastard door!!!!!”

@ProperVexed

Replacing the toilet roll is the thing that might push me over the edge...and cause me to push him over the edge of the next high place I see him standing! In our downstairs loo DH decided to position the toilet roll holder directly above the cistern. This means that, once finished on the loo and in need of a piece of tissue, one must either stand up and turn around or swivel round and twist ones back to an uncomfortable angle to grab said tissue. It is ridiculous. Clearly DH finds it an issue because he leaves a roll upon the cistern rather than replacing it onto the holder. At present DH is worth more to me alive than dead so I have developed a way of easily obtaining tissue and pissing him off at the same time. At knee level, when sitting, is a cupboard beneath the basin. I keep a tissue roll in this and use from there. I also replace his cistern roll into the cupboard each and every time I walk past or use that loo. It is driving him mad and giving me a strange satisfaction.

LOVE THIS! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

He nicks my phone charger all of the time

Also we’ve been WFH together since March, He comes into my office periodically and just stands there - I long for a day alone.

@HermannlovesPauline

He nicks my phone charger all of the time

Also we’ve been WFH together since March, He comes into my office periodically and just stands there - I long for a day alone.

I miss being alone so much!

PlatinumBrunette my DH usually travels every few weeks for a week or two overseas and has quite a few meetings in London that take many hours. This has been the norm for just over 20 years. So I am used to huge swathes of time by myself. On MN over the years there has been many a thread where women have been really upset at the thought of their DH being away, I have always relished it as I’m quite a solitary creature that needs silence and peace to recharge.

He has an office at home. We meet up for lunch And sometimes go for a walk after but keep totally away from each other all day.

Hearing about dreams. I.Don’t.Care. 😂😂