Trapped toddler parents of the fabled Winter 2020/2021. Puddle suits at the ready..hello Christmas!

[footprintsintheslow]

New thread as the other one is running out.

A place to find find and share ideas of how to get through these crazy times with lockdowns and babies and toddlers.

New members welcome.

@Postmanbear. DS was given a book too! Very thrilled (not !). Actually I am finding it easier to bear the cancellation of our Santa trip since it turns out that DS is slightly scared of Santa...We tried to read "The Night before Christmas" yesterday but actually DS (like any sensible toddler) found the idea of someone creeping down the chimney and into his room quite alarming!

Haha we got a book and a stuffed elf. Que ‘but I wanted a toy mummy’ wails when he opened it at home 😂

Santa was very socially distanced, he was in a summer house type thing and we sat on a bench outside and I think that helped DS not to be overwhelmed by it all.

Well today is turning into a bloody nightmare before Christmas.

My app says isolate for 8 days so I cancel my eldest child who is at uni and lives in the city full time. Her and her boyfriend live together and now arrange to go to his mothers for Xmas.

However now I read that the bastard app hasn't changed to the new guidance of isolate for ten days. So I'm actually allowed to see her Christmas Day but now she's arranged to go to her MIL. I could cry.

The worst bit was my MIL pulled out of coming to us because she didn't want to be exposed to anything from the uni adults. So now she might come as they aren't.

@footprintsintheslow. Oh, I'm so sorry! This really is the year that keeps on taking...

We also had a (surprise at school) Father Christmas visit, DS1 and all the other DC were overjoyed - Father Christmas gave them a whole bag of chocolate coins each/not just one! V exciting when you are 4/5.

I'm so sorry to hear about your plans falling through footprintinthesnow we cancelled on MIL/BIL after hearing Chris Whitty advising us not to travel...they live in Newham and MIL gets the tube to work in a hospital every day, we live in Brighton (tier 2, lowish rates).
It just felt a bit irresponsible as we rely on my parents for childcare (DH only has the bank holidays off) and also DS1s school bubble has never burst, we'd hate to be the ones to do it.
DH feels a bit sad/guilty though. DS2 has only met MIL twice and was a bit scared of her last time we saw her. My mum gets to see him almost every day.

Have made plans to see my (local) brother and his girlfriend on the 23rd instead, hoping things don't change again and we have to cancel for some reason.

We've finally got into gear this morning and done our Christmas train track. DS loved it...we made snow and decorated with presents and "snowballs". It's a huge hit. There are lots of snowballs on the line derailing the trains and the Santa train is taking presents to the other engines.

@footprintsintheslow I’m sorry lovely, what an utter shit show.

@MessAllOver looks fab! We did a similar set up last week and DS loved it.

I’m currently in the car in macdonalds csr park having walked out of the house leaving DP with both kids. DD has just had a massive feed so I figure I’ve got 45 mins of not having my boobs near her.

DP goes through a cycle of bucking his ideas up, being really engaged for a few weeks and then things slipping, our smallest room is his daughters (not that she chooses to sleeps over) and he also works in the re during the week, because he’s so fucking lazy with it the room is disgusting when she’s not here, so he wants TWO FUCKING HOURS to sort it before she comes later on. If he just tidied up after himself it wouldn’t happen and it just enrages me. I’ve had DD having an hour long feeding session, DS bouncing off the walls because DP just shoved him in front of the telly for an hour (sets off poor behaviour in DS) and fucked about on his phone.

We had such a good day yesterday, DP was engaged, taking on equal parenting rather than just letting me have the mental load of everything but apparently that can only extend to one day.

I am so fucked off that I’ve got to go home. I would happily leave him there with all of them for the day but DD is breastfed.

@monkeypuddle that sounds incredibly frustrating. Good for you for getting away for some fresh air. Hopefully he'll buck up.

What does everyone do with the kids 'masterpieces' I feel bad chucking then away but I've got oodles of them. There's only so much we can give to the Grannies.

@MessAllOver that looks bloody fantastic!

@MonkeyPuddle god that sounds really awful, annoying and unfair...and so common that it falls on us women.

@Motherofmonsters pick and date a few choice ones every so often and then ditch the rest. Put the nice ones in a file. One per child for posterity. Be choosy.

Today all of Wales has just gone into lockdown. A huge shock but on the bright side my isolation doesn't feel so bad as everyone is at home so I'm not missing out.

We did paint directly on the tuff spot today and then used the hose pipe to wash it. Big hit.

Thanks @footsinthesnow. I think I might get one of those files with sleeves so it's displayed better and not keep the ones.

DS has been taken over by 'Captain choas' this morning. We've had toilet roll unravelled, jumping all over the sofa and us, climbing on window sills and general craziness. Needs a good run around this afternoon.

@footprintsintheslow I'm really sorry your Christmas plans have been disrupted

@MonkeyPuddle hope you had a good bollocking chat with DH. It's crap. Go out more often and leave him to it is my advice. Though easier said than done in lockdown.

Really sorry for all those who are having their much longed for Christmas plans disrupted

We're back in lockdown from 12 on Boxing Day
It doesn't actually change much for me because we'll all still be at work and school.

They've also set a curfew of 8pm which I'm not planning on abiding by for two reasons, firstly because I really don't believe in curfews and think they're wrong, and secondly because 8.30 onwards is the only time I can get out for a run, and I'm not giving that up - I don't see anyone at that time anyway

Has anyone elses kid gone feral? DS has been extra crazy this weekend. We've turned into a shouty family and we really try not to be. I do not know what is up with him

@Motherofmonsters. DS is always fairly feral here... very strong-willed and high energy. But he has been extra willful this weekend. Now nursery is shut for Christmas, we have two weeks of it .

I do think he's picking up on our stress/upset at cancelled Christmas plans. He keeps asking for 'gan" and "ganda" who were coming to visit us but no longer are. We're going to try to make an extra effort not to mention what's been happening and just to focus on making Christmas special and doing fun activities with him.

I think starting the day with a piece of chocolate, finding an elf and discovering a new (to us) book under your pillow makes you into a lunatic. Boundaries being pushed here too.

I saw this from Sarah Ockwell Smith earlier and thought it spot on!

“The Christmas period can be tough for little people.

The change (or often complete loss) of regular routine, visiting friends and relatives, OTT sensory stimulation from all the lights, sounds, tastes and smells, their neurologically normal lack of patience and the sheer excitement often means that a family Christmas doesn’t resemble the Hallmark ideal that you have planned in your head.

Tantrums, meltdowns, not listening, sleep disturbances and whining are commonplace. Instead of meeting these with harsh words and punishment, try to meet them with understanding, empathy and acceptance. Lower your expectations (think more Card Factory at the end of a busy Saturday with everything out of place - than perfect Hallmark wrapped up in cinnamon scented tartan ribbon) and remind yourself how tricky navigating Christmas can be when you’re a child.”

We’ve just had third birthday here, the four month old barely slept or ate all day because he was so over stimulated by the balloons and decorations. Birthday boy had a whale of a time (we now own every Paw Patrol toy known to man), so obviously we had wails and tears at bedtime...

I currently feel like I’m just pushing through to get to Christmas...but there’s not exactly anything on the other side of it to look forward to!

I’ve set up a paw patrol rescue for tomorrow morning, hoping it buys me time for a hot coffee...

Thanks for this thread. I was given something called ‘magic snow’ this week. You put a teaspoon of it in a container, then add water and it fluffs up into these crystals that look like snow. My four year old enjoyed mixing and stirring it in pots and using cookie cutters on it. Maybe imaginative people could set up some kind of winter Christmassy scene with it. It’s not safe to eat though so only good for older toddlers who are past the eating everything stage.

Morning, (I think DS2 is awake for the day)

DS1 and I have written 'a plan' on the family planner in the kitchen (might help the older ones feel in control/know what's going on.)
Monday: post last cards and hang cards on string
Tuesday: play board games
Wednesday: wrap presents
Thursday: bake

DH is generally grumpy atm, any help with DC request is met with "not if you want me to finish by 4pm on Christmas eve"
We're going to work from opposite ends of the flat in January or he will drive me insane with his faffing and wandering up and down the corridor to 'think'.

@Camomila. Commiserations! I'm up here working (trying to keep up with my work now DS is off nursery), but at least DS is still snoozing so I'm enjoying (hot) coffee and toast in peace.

We've drawn up a plan for today to stop us drifting - we're going to write DS's letter to Santa this morning (he's very suggestible so there should be no real surprises !) and decorate with Christmas stamps and stickers. Then we're going to go to the supermarket to do our last bits and bobs of Christmas shopping (still need to get chocolate coins etc. for his stocking) and post our Christmas letter on the way. Then playground on the way back.

This afternoon, I've got a bit of work to do so it's going to be jigsaws and toys on the tuff tray, Christmas film on TV and ignore... We have some brown bananas in the fruit bowl so we'll probably bake a cake when the guilt of neglecting DS becomes too much.

he will drive me insane with his faffing and wandering up and down the corridor to 'think'.

Tripwire? Might teach him to stay in one place.

Tripwire? Might teach him to stay in one place.

Best not, I'd only injure myself I have new bruises on my legs every week from banging into the stair gate.

Speaking of playgrounds...
My favourite walking distance park (I don't drive) now has a walk in coronavirus testing centre. Bit scared of going there now!

On the plus side I've just had a gingerbread man for breakfast and DS2 has gone back to sleep. Will attempt half an hour power nap before DS1 gets up.

@Camomila I used to love hanging cards on string at my grand, she received so many of them!

I feel a plan is needed for this week too, I've finished all present shopping but I want something to look forward to each day with toddler. Going to hopefully sneak in a last visit to the library with him too.

@footprintsintheslow really sorry you're not getting to see your DD, it's so frustrating when it's just one thing on top of another. Would your MIL accept that given new guidance you'd rather not risk seeing anyone?

@MonkeyPuddle aargh! That sounds so annoying. Would you be able to have an actual conversation about it one evening to get him to realise how you're feeling?

@WeSearchedHereWeSearchedThere Thanks for sharing, that's useful to remember. I just hate that I know empathy, calmness etc is more effective, and then still shout or let things escalate too fast.

Had two completely different days at the weekend (one weekend in four I have him on my own because DH is working). Saturday was awful. I was tired and really struggled to engage with DS. Didn't really do much. Got unnecessarily cross about him messing about with a toy that I thought he might break etc., and got to the point where I just kind of felt numb (which was pretty horrible).

On Sunday I was just more calm and relaxed all day, and DS had fun with some slightly rubbish playdough I made, we had lots of time cuddled up enjoying stories, and had a trip to the shop and the park where he was reasonably sensible about hand holding, leaving things alone, going home when we needed to etc. Why can't I be like that all the time? I know it's better for both of us, but sometimes it's like there's a trigger and I'll go from fine to really cross in an instant. Plus sometimes having this horrible numb feeling where I'm not cross, I'm just kind of detached and not trying to be understanding (for example, on Saturday I kept shutting the bin when he opened it and repeated that I wanted it shut while he got upset, instead of distracting or trying to make him being in the kitchen a bit more fun).

@prettygirlincrimsonrose I know the numbness you’re talking about. For me I think it’s shutting down slightly to prevent getting angrier. Normally accompanied by an internal “oh sod off then”. I think we just have to accept that toddlers are primed to wind us up the wrong way - meet with empathy and kindness where you can, and space where you can’t!

@Debradoyourecall I have magic snow stashed away to use and can't wait but leaving it for a post Christmas Day.

@prettygirlincrimsonrose well yes actually since my last post plans have changed again because of the new Welsh guidance. No one is coming here, we will visit MIL in her garden weather permitting and then drive to see DD for a Christmas walk around the lake. It'll be a totally different Christmas but I'm actually relieved to see DD and give her presents. Then she is our childcare for giving birth so just two weeks and she can come home.

I think that numbness is what I'd call being spent and at the end of my tether. We all get like it especially this time of year and especially this year.

Today whilst sorting around in the attic I found some old school boxes up supplies so it was an instant tuff tray. It wasn't a massive hit but it looks nice.

Am very impressed by all the crafts. I made a clove orange that looks like an angry old man, if that counts?

DTwins 2y10m currently singing their new hit "Out of My Backside" (tune: Into the Unknown) inspired by an earlier farting competition. Classy! Debating whether to go in and break it up or let them sing themselves to sleep.

Full day at work today/ tomorrow then Christmas...... twins have announced that they want "a red one, a pink one, one mermaid and one shark" for Christmas so God only knows what they have in mind. Eagerly awaiting the tantrums when I get it wrong on Friday!