How do I tell them without sounding offensive?

[SwampyArmpits]

Help me out, oh wise Mumsnetters!

Someone I know has been unknowingly - I think! - and repeatedly using a derogatory term when referring to someone else, and it makes me cringe every time I see it happen (these incidents are happening online). I don't think this person has bad intentions, and I know I'd want to be told if it were me making the same mistake, so I'd like to send them a quick message - but how to word it without sounding offensive?! I want to tread carefully, this person and I have interacted before but we're not best friends.

Should I say something - and, if so, what and how? - or should I stay out of it? What say you, Mumsnet?!

using a derogatory term when referring to someone else

the person is using "Thot" instead of "though

Sorry can you explain these statements more?

Though isn't a way of referring to someone....

Ooohhh...so they are just lazy/bad at spelling. I’d leave them to it tbh, it’s not like it would mean the same thing out of context!

@VanityWitch

Reminds me of when David Cam used the word twat, thinking it just meant silly Billy or twit or prat or something .

Yes, I'd go with pp suggestion; helen, do you know what that means 😂?

Haha, my mum was the same, calling people "twat" thinking it was a cute variant of "twit"!

Surely it will be obvious in the context of what they've written, that they've misspelled thought.

[quote SwampyArmpits]@SockDrawer Definitely not a misspelling, they're otherwise very articulate.[/quote]
If they're using a derogatory slang noun instead of a verb then they appear to be illiterate.

Also, I googled "millennial" after reading that slang article. Are there really people aged 38, 39 walking round saying stuff like "bae" and "thot" ?

This is going to irritate me...I need an explanation of how the word "Thought" can be referring to someone else?

Here's an exact quote, to clear things up:

"(Tagging 3 women)
Thots?"

So, asking for thoughts, but referencing three women first.

Well it's either Karen or not just tell them that saying it is rude. But after that what else can you do they probably know what they are saying.

Oh right! Is that the only time they've done it or are they in the habit of asking people for their thoughts? Like...a lot?

So it is a misspelling. They're asking for thoughts.

I'd go back with something funny -
*‘Had to google ‘Thot’, I am so not down with the kids. 😂 Harsh to call xx a ho? "

That works perfectly.

I’ve never heard of Thot. How do you even use it - you can’t say “that thot” that’s like saying HIV virus or PIN number (the word is unnecessary as it’s already in the acronym).

If they’re using it as shorthand for thought, maybe they’re just not great at spelling? Or it’s the work of autocorrect?

Thot for thought sounds kind of Shakespearean to my ears

Can't you just say "Do you know what a thot is? It's not the same as a thought by the way" and put a laughing face or something?

@SwampyArmpits

Here's an exact quote, to clear things up:

"(Tagging 3 women)
Thots?"

Oh my god 😂😂😂

@SwampyArmpits

Here's an exact quote, to clear things up:

"(Tagging 3 women)
Thots?"

hahahahahaha

God I'm ancient I have no idea what anything means anymore

I've never before heard of 'THOT' but I am an 'older' person and don't try to be trendy by using the current vernacular. It's a horrible word anyway and I think your friend should be asked if she knows the meaning of it. It's possible she doesn't and would be mortified to find out she has been casually referring to someone as a 'whore'.

Do it before she puts her foot in it again.

JUST TO REITERATE: Misspelling isn't the issue - if anything, I think the person thinks it's maybe just a new way to spell it..?!

I don't know. Think I'm just going to bite the bullet, send them a message telling them I'm sure they don't mean it that way, but...and hope for the best

I think the person thinks it's maybe just a new way to spell it..?!

Then they're extremely stupid so who cares if they're offended.

Ah, well at least she is using it as a noun.

If you're one of the three women, maybe reply, "um... I don't think any of us are 'thots' 🤣 anyway, here are my thoughts on the subject....

oh leave it

unless you are tagged in which case just reply

"did you meant to say thot (have a google)"

Ok, how does this sound?

"Hope this doesn't come across as insulting or intrusive, certainly not meant that way! Just thought you should know, since I'm sure you weren't intending to call (name, name and name) loose ladies...: www.dictionary.com/browse/thot 😅"

‘Hi X
I see you put ‘thots’ in that message, did you mean to put thoughts? Thots means ‘that hoe over there’ which I really hope you aren’t intentionally using in the workplace.
Don’t want any misunderstandings’

OP you said they used this word repeatedly? When else have they done so?