How do I tell them without sounding offensive?

[SwampyArmpits]

Help me out, oh wise Mumsnetters!

Someone I know has been unknowingly - I think! - and repeatedly using a derogatory term when referring to someone else, and it makes me cringe every time I see it happen (these incidents are happening online). I don't think this person has bad intentions, and I know I'd want to be told if it were me making the same mistake, so I'd like to send them a quick message - but how to word it without sounding offensive?! I want to tread carefully, this person and I have interacted before but we're not best friends.

Should I say something - and, if so, what and how? - or should I stay out of it? What say you, Mumsnet?!

If you tactfully let a person know that a term may be considered offensive, and the get huffy about it rather than being grateful to be made aware of an unintentional faux pas, that really is their problem and they're not someone whose opinion you particularly need to value.

Post this as a joke. No direct link to her:

www.inc.com/zoe-henry/words-millennials-use-youth-slang.html

@SwampyArmpits

You lot are pushy, aren't you?! Fine! The word is Thot, as in That Ho Over There, and is being used towards a woman. The person using it is first-language English.

We're on friendly terms, too, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Erm how are they using this word unintentionally?? wtf do you think they think it means 😅😅

Thot? I had to look that up... I don't really see how that could be being used innocently. unless it's some sort of mindless 'down with the kids' mentality.

In which case I’d probably just respond with

Helen! 😂 do you know what that means?😃

Well I never.

How do you even pronounce that?!

Never heard that one! Both my dds and my Dn used ‘Mong’. Each time I explained where it came from, didn’t even need to explain that it was offensive. They were all mortified and haven’t used it since. We need to call these out

This is really outing, but ok: the person is using "Thot" instead of "thought"

How ok can you use Thot innocently! Are they thinking it’s a compliment?

Errr. I'd probably just let it go to be honest ...

Or
‘Had to google ‘Thot’, I am so not down with the kids. 😂 Harsh to call xx a ho? 😂

Reminds me of when David Cam used the word twat, thinking it just meant silly Billy or twit or prat or something .

Yes, I'd go with pp suggestion; helen, do you know what that means 😂?

Ohhhh

Cross post. I’d just point it out. And say you had to google it too.

And blame autocorrect.

I'm intrigued as how anyone could use that unintentionally - unless they think it means something else?

Cross post.

They’re misspelling ‘thought’ then? They’re not directing it ’towards a woman’?

This thread is the second time today I've seen 'Helen' being used in that sort of way... that's not becoming a 'thing' is it?

How are they referring to someone else when they're thinking they're saying "thought"??

They're using thot rather than thought...that's not referring to someone!

@GreyishDays

And blame autocorrect.

"Autocorrect changed thought to Thot, oops!"

So it's a mis-spelling.

Very easy to send a quick message to let her know that thot means something different to thought.

Perhaps they just can't spell? Or do they think that it's ok text speak?

Are you sure it's not just a spelling error?

I had never come across that (thankfully), I don't know how someone would pick that up.

Unless you're thinking they've seen it elsewhere, not understood it at all and are now using it as a "handy" abbreviation for "thought" ? Like people signing texts "lol" thinking it meant "lots of love" . If that was me I would want to be told!

@SockDrawer Definitely not a misspelling, they're otherwise very articulate.