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Original poster

would you be annoyed if a new person at work did this

274 replies

durdur · 01/12/2020 11:23

I have started a new FT job. DH became redundant just after I got this job which now means I have to do the school run and dh used to work completely remote from home anyway so this was never an issue for us.

So I've asked to reduce my hours to fit in with school times.
I have only been there a few weeks. Would they refuse? I would leave if they did as we need one of us to do the drop off and pick ups.

I honestly feel bad for asking to reduce my hours.

OP posts:
Dilligaf81 · 02/12/2020 09:10

OP sorry you have had so much anger and negativity in response to your question.
I used to be a line manager in retail banking and depending for me it would depend entirely on what your role was. If you were customer facing i couldnt entertain it but for back office staff or a job that can br done remotely then yes i would entertain it.

We have such an environment of presenteeism that managers dont trust staff to work unless they are being stood over.
Good luck OP.

MatildaonaWaltzer · 02/12/2020 09:22

@Thismustbelove nobody has to reduce their hours though, do they? husband can start half an hour later to accommodate drop off and then finish half an hour later.
OP can start earlier and finish to pick up earlier.
this temp fix can work until they sort childcare out like the majority of other working parents.
Both employers get what they've contracted for and neither employee takes the piss by suggesting they're paid to babysit on working hours.

Thismustbelove · 02/12/2020 09:40

MatildaonaWaltzer Childcare costs may not make this feasible. Factor in school holidays etc.

OP definitely ask.
The working culture of being present in an office is very outdated and a sign of poor management.

MatildaonaWaltzer · 02/12/2020 10:01

being present in the office is one thing; babysitting two kids while workign is very much another.

BoudiccaD · 02/12/2020 10:18

I'd look in to jacking the job in, get all the necessary crb/dbs checks and starting a babysitting and school drop off/collection service if all your childcare options have shut down. I'm assuming babysitting doesn't have all the requirements that childminding does? Theres obviously a need for it.

BoudiccaD · 02/12/2020 10:20

You could be less strict with your timings/attendance than childminders and watch kids for 1.5hrs while someone goes to an appointment or 2hrs while they do their shopping. How often are their posts in here where people say they need to go somewhere but theres no one to watch their kids?

BoudiccaD · 02/12/2020 10:21

*There

BloggersBlog · 02/12/2020 10:34

I think if you are getting negative answers it is because your husband got his job AFTER you got yours, and appears (tell me if I am wrong) not to have factored in the children.

Did he even ask in the interview process the possibility of doing hours that would incorporate either school run? Or did he go there with no worries about hours, knowing you would sort out the problem of school runs, not him? As from your answers re struggling with childminders, it seems you are doing. Not him

Original poster
durdur · 02/12/2020 12:48

saraclara thank you!! I resorted to capital letters in my previous posts too! 😂

If DH did the school run he'd get to work at 10.45 and then would need to leave at 6.45!!! Why would he do that when I work local?! In order for him to do the school run even a couple of days a week would eat into quite a bit of his earnings. We aren't some high earning couple. We are doing the best for our family and with this shit situation with people losing jobs we have to take what we can get. People can be weird online!

OP posts:
BloggersBlog · 02/12/2020 12:53

Pity you didnt put more info in your OP then isnt it. How the hell are posters meant to know that "if DH did the school run he'd get to work at 10.45 and then would need to leave at 6.45" and you dont want that?

Toilenstripes · 02/12/2020 12:55

If I were your employer I would be happy to consider a flexible working arrangement after 26 weeks. But I’m not sure people really understand what it’s like for an HR team to have countless numbers of flexible working schedules in the database. And it has a knock on effect when trying to organise meetings but half the group are dropping off or picking up their kids and are limited in the hours they keep. This is particularly true for senior managers.

Original poster
durdur · 02/12/2020 15:11

Update!!!
I feel I need to end this bloody thread!

Well, thankfully my manager doesn't think like most of you! She was absolutely lovely about it and understanding! She didn't want to lose me as a valued member of the team and I was honestly absolutely delighted and soooo grateful.

The end.

OP posts:
GeorginaTheGiant · 02/12/2020 15:23

Well OP with a manager like that I would stay put. It’s almost unbelievable that she has been so accommodating of this request. Hopefully your colleagues are also as supportive of you leaving the office early afternoon to do the school run and look after your kids while being paid for it Hmm

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2020 15:26

Well that was all wrapped up very neatly. 🎁

VinylDetective · 02/12/2020 15:36

Wasn’t it just? Almost unbelievably so ...

TheLadyOfShallnott · 02/12/2020 15:39

Valued after a few weeks?

Wonderful stuff. 🎁

Bluesheep8 · 02/12/2020 15:53

Hopefully your colleagues are also as supportive of you leaving the office early afternoon to do the school run and look after your kids while being paid for it

I can't help wondering this too. And whether your colleagues feel as valued...

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2020 16:05

I hope HR are ready for the influx of similar requests. You're such a trailblazer, OP. I hope your employers appreciate that as another of your assets.

Original poster
durdur · 02/12/2020 16:05

Why do you all have massive assumptions that I'm working and looking after my kids at the same time?

Have any of you thought about that lazy DH of mine who can't be bothered doing the any childcare might just be looking after the kids whilst I work at home.

You might think it's unbelievable but I honestly find most of the replies on this thread unbelievable.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2020 16:08

We assumed it because you avoided answering the question.

Original poster
durdur · 02/12/2020 16:09

Justmuddlingalong the good old "can't give you what you want otherwise everyone else will start asking as well". I've seen that classic lots of times with other colleagues in different organisations. I honestly can't see lots of requests in my team.

OP posts:
VinylDetective · 02/12/2020 16:10

Have any of you thought about that lazy DH of mine who can't be bothered doing the any childcare might just be looking after the kids whilst I work at home

In which case you don’t need to work from home. You could work in the office.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2020 16:13

the good old "can't give you what you want otherwise everyone else will start asking as well".
Maybe they aren't aware that flexitime is an option.

kidscreatemess · 02/12/2020 16:13

Glad your manager was understanding. Fwiw as a manager I would completely understand and change your hours accordingly!

Original poster
durdur · 02/12/2020 16:17

VinylDetective you're suggesting I sit alone in an office at 7pm when I can do the same thing at home?! Ok.

OP posts: