would you be annoyed if a new person at work did this

[durdur]

I have started a new FT job. DH became redundant just after I got this job which now means I have to do the school run and dh used to work completely remote from home anyway so this was never an issue for us.

So I've asked to reduce my hours to fit in with school times.
I have only been there a few weeks. Would they refuse? I would leave if they did as we need one of us to do the drop off and pick ups.

I honestly feel bad for asking to reduce my hours.

durdur But you don’t work for that poster so it doesn’t matter what she would do?

What about a childminder?

@durdur

Ok so everyone would be annoyed.

I work local and dh has a commute and he is the higher earner so makes sense for him to not reduce his hours.

I have asked for a reduction of hour a day with 1.5 hours working from home.

There's no breakfast or after school club anymore due to covid.

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.

I have great sympathy, OP. The secretary at our school is in same position as since lockdown there are no breakfast clubs or after school clubs running. She has luckily been able to get a temporary change in her morning starting hours though this has impacted negatively on the member of staff who has been charged to man the office until she arrives in the morning (answering phones is out of her comfort zone). However, we are all sympathetic and making the best of things.

The pandemic has caused anguish in many ways so it may be worth broaching the subject with your manager. It may be that they too will be sympathetic due to the extraordinary situation we find ourselves in. Clearly, this will be a short term change until full before/after school care it implemented again. Good luck.

Just be careful as they can let you go for any reason when you have less than 2 years of service - so if they feel like this won’t work out, they could easily sack you and replace you with someone else they interviewed.

How old are your children?

Worst case scenario, could they take public transport or could a friend/family member pick them up?

I would ask for one thing, either arrive late or leave early, but both may be seen as a piss-take unless you make up the hours. It would be better to ask once you’re more established and they’re confident in your abilities.

Nicknacky no I don't work for that poster so it doesn't matter what she would do. And I don't work for any of you here either so it doesn't matter what I do!

Durdur So what about a childminder? I had one for 13 years and it worked well.

I am looking into a childminder but not a lot of luck yet but I haven't exhausted my list yet. Looks like everyone is busy as most of the schools near me have closed their breakfast and after school clubs. I honestly don't think I will find someone soon and to be honest I dont want to get random people looking after my kids like a random student as someone suggested. A registered childminder fair enough but not someone off the street!

I'd suggest it as a temporary measure if it is covid that has stopped the before and after school provision. Say that hopefully you'll be able to get them into those when things start to return to normal.
I'd agree this temporarily with someone due to the covid impact on normal life.

You asked how to approach this, well I'd do so by explaining all the facts. Why your dh can't be flexible in his hours. Why you haven't sorted anything out like a childminder or some other arrangement i.e. family, and yes someone temporary that a friend recommended for example, in advance. I'd expect you to express a clear understanding that this is temporary arrangement and will end as soon as the breakfast club or some other arrangement can be made. I'd expect to understand how you can do the 1.5 hours wfh if you are looking after kids. Also it would depend on what the job is and how flexible the role can be. As a manager I like to be flexible but I also have a job to do and goals to achieve so I have to keep this in mind when deciding.

You are new and the company has spent time and money to hire you for a set number of hours. You've not proved yourself in the role yet so it will be much harder for you as you are not in such a 'strong' position. Going in with an attitude of 'employers should be flexible' probably won't go down well. Remember this is your problem, not theirs.

FGS make your DH do his share. Why do women put up with with reduced earnings, constantly expecting their employers to compromise etc. Your DH will always be the higher earner and continue to hold the power of working undisturbed while your value in the workplace diminishes.

Protect your financial independence

I’d suggest it as an interim measure. Just be honest with them OP, you’ve nothing to lose if the alternative is leaving completely! It’s not ideal but you know that, and you didn’t expect this to happen. Good luck, hope it goes well

Have you looked for a childminder

I expect you may get a reaction of disbelief that you did not know this before starting the job.

@Grobagsforever

FGS make your DH do his share. Why do women put up with with reduced earnings, constantly expecting their employers to compromise etc. Your DH will always be the higher earner and continue to hold the power of working undisturbed while your value in the workplace diminishes.

Protect your financial independence

This with bells on.

People always say their husband can’t possibly do a thing to ‘help’ with his own children’s childcare because it doesn’t make sense given that he earns more. The opposite is true. The salary gap will only widen if the woman continues to take all the hit. She has got catching up to do so it’s more important that she doesn’t make all the compromises in a career sense. Yes the bills need paying in the meantime but I don’t believe in the majority of cases that the high earning husband taking a small hit will render the cupboards empty like some women on here make out.

Employers are seen by some- and apparently the OP is one of them - as being there to support their employees. The OPs attitude is her oats is what would put me off agreeing: her focus on what the employer should be doing to make her life easier, and a belligerent push back when things don't go her way.

If they had decided this was a job that could be done in shorter hours and with a WFH period built in, that's what they would have recruited for and the OP may not have been offered the job in the first place as other candidates for whom that package was perfect, and who did not apply for the FT vacancy, would also have applied.

If DC still need parents to do the school run, then by and large they are too young to be left unsupervised at home and therefore the OP will be doing childcare in the time she says she'll be WFH, and that absolutely reeks of yet more dissembling and self interest.

I really want to moan at the OP for what she is suggesting .... But where I work, whilst it might result in eye-rolling, due process would be followed and she might get the desired outcome. It depends on the line manager, the role, the level of trust.

My manager this time last year? Not a hope, even after nine years of service, she was a control freak. My manager now (same organisation)? He wouldn't have a problem at all, the entire team WFH a variety of hours and situations between 6am and 11pm depending on their situation.

@vanillandhoney

Why did your DH take a job with hours that clashed with yours, without thinking about how you'd both be able to manage the school run?

Or did he just assume it was your problem to sort out?

Presumably because he'd just been made redundant at a time when many others have too, and as the higher earner he had to take what he could get, and not mess about turning things down or making demands.

C'mon people, this is the real world during covid. Presumably without his bread winner salary this family is stuffed. He had to grab what he could get, and hopefully negotiate stuff later.

People seem not to have noticed that he's been the one doing the school runs up to now. It's not as if he's been leaving everything to OP.

@Grobagsforever

FGS make your DH do his share. Why do women put up with with reduced earnings, constantly expecting their employers to compromise etc. Your DH will always be the higher earner and continue to hold the power of working undisturbed while your value in the workplace diminishes.

Protect your financial independence

Again he's been doing his share up to now. OP has been able to do her job because HE HAS BEEN DOING THE SCHOOL RUNS UP TO NOW by fitting them into his working day.

Why does he have to be seen as useless and not playing his part when that's clearly not the case?

Seriously, have people lost all reading comprehension? I feel like typing that capitalised sentence in response to virtually every other one in this thread.

I can see why mumsnet posters are thought of as man haters sometimes.

OP I manage teams and whilst I'd internally groan at your request so quick after starting (and wonder how I was going to get the rest of your work done), I would probably allow it. A lot of my team do flexible working in one way or another (I compress my hours, others are part time etc) and I always say family should come first. If you were asking for flexible working rather than a reduction in hours then I'd support far easier (and wouldn't have to involve HR) so for example you might do your 1.5 hours at 8-9.30pm each night after the children were in bed and I'd be fine with that.

I’d ask if I was in your position. Your other option is to leave so what harm can it do to ask? DH earns over £100K. I work part time and earn £15K. If/when DH has to return to the office or I have to return to the office, I certainly won’t be asking DH to reduce his hours. I won’t hesitate to leave my job when it no longer works for us.

Husband has been doing the school runs, but is now devolving all responsibility to OP, who is in turn hoping to pass the buck onto her employer to accept reduced hours, not in the office, while looking after 2 kids and while still in her probation period.
If she was going in with a request for two weeks until a childminder could start / earlier start (husband doing drop off) to cover the early finish etc etc, they might be more inclined to accept the abrupt change in availability. Nothing much here suggests that she wants to be responsible for the problem rather than the employer. As for comments about “random people off the street” looking after the children - ffs. This is a situation for emergency measures / swapping days with other parents at the school / calling in grandparents etc etc but it’s so much easier to ask to be paid to do it instead

@Thismustbelove why is her other option to leave? Why is paid childcare not an option? Or shared parental care? Flexible hours? There are literally many options but the OP seems over keen to make it the brand new employer who handles her problem

Shared parental care only works if the earnings are approx the same for both ppl. It makes no sense whatsoever to ask a high earner to reduce hours otherwise. Also it all depends on their roles, the OP said she will otherwise leave so presumably the OP, an adult, who has managed to secure a role, also has the capability to weigh up her options and conclude that if reduced hours aren’t allowed, the best option for them as a family, is to leave that job.