would you be annoyed if a new person at work did this

[durdur]

I have started a new FT job. DH became redundant just after I got this job which now means I have to do the school run and dh used to work completely remote from home anyway so this was never an issue for us.

So I've asked to reduce my hours to fit in with school times.
I have only been there a few weeks. Would they refuse? I would leave if they did as we need one of us to do the drop off and pick ups.

I honestly feel bad for asking to reduce my hours.

That's awkward. Is there any wraparound care? Can you both share the school run? Or dp do it? Does it need to be you that does it all?

We use after-school club, is that an option? Used to use breakfast club too but the hours for that have changed and it’s actually just as easy to drop DC off at the normal time and whizz back home for 9am.

I'd be looking for wraparound care tbh. It doesn't look great to be asking for such a huge amount of flexibility early on, that's normally something that is given in recognition of how valuable an employee you are.

Yea agree with others, why does the woman have to bend, not the man

Speaking as ex HR and given that you both have new jobs I think that you should both sound out your employers by explaining the situation and asking informally whether it would work. I would certainly inwardly eye roll at someone who asked so soon after joining, but if you're asking informally with no expectation then that's more acceptable.

As you’re both in new jobs I would look to share the childcare where possible, ie split drop offs and pick ups. It’s not unreasonable to explain the situation and then have a conversation with your employer to work out the best way to have flexibility. Might need a bit of give and take. At the end of the day, you’re one of millions who has caring responsibilities outside of work and if your employer is reasonable then something should be worked out. Good luck and don’t feel bad.

Could one of you ask to start earlier and finish earlier and that person does pick up, then the other person starts later and finishes later and they do drop off? I agree it shouldn't have to be you changing all your work arrangements when you were already in your job.

Are you working from home? If so, could you ask for some leeway to do the school run and then come back to work in the afternoon after you return? it's not ideal for your DC to be left to their own devices while you work but needs must. Ideally you would source wraparound care or perhaps someone to drop off and pick up DC to your home.
If this isn't possibly wouldn't it be better if both you and DH shared the school run responsibilities so it's not just you taking the hit with your employer?

I wouldn't be annoyed. Life happens. I might not be able to accommodate your request but I would try. When I started at my current employer a few things changed between me being offered the job and my start date being arranged (onboarding was a long drawn out process requiring all sorts of checks) and I asked to start at 9.30 rather than 9- it wasn't an issue and the flexibility shown to me meant I started in a very positive frame of mind with a keenness to demonstrate that I was worth being flexible before. Besides, life is hard enough as it is, if we can make it easier for one another I see no good reason not to.

You need to share this between you, so one does drop off, gets into work later and stays later. The other, gets into work early and leaves early to do the pick ups.

I’d be annoyed, and refuse. I don’t think you can put such flexi requests in so quickly after starting.

@edwinbear

You need to share this between you, so one does drop off, gets into work later and stays later. The other, gets into work early and leaves early to do the pick ups.

This would be an ideal situation if you can't arrange breakfast club/afterschool club.

You both have new jobs so if feasible (not necessarily easy but feasible) you both need to explore this with your employer.
Might go down better if one of you starts late/ finishes early and the other one does the opposite rather than just a cut in hours for one of you

I can't imagine other employees who are paying for wrap around childcare would be best pleased that a new start was asking to pick and choose her hours.

It depends largely on your hours and the degree of reduction you need, I think. I have sort of similar but I was very upfront about school runs when I took the job and my contracted hours reflect that. Now they are saying there's actually a clause in my contract which says, regardless of contract hours, I can be asked to work as many and at any times required - I should have read much more carefully before I signed this. They want me in at 7am or until 7pm someday which makes schoolruns all but impossible even using wrap around school clubs.

Oh god no, don't do this. And don't sacrifice your earning power for your husband, even if he currently earns more than you.

Ok so everyone would be annoyed.

I work local and dh has a commute and he is the higher earner so makes sense for him to not reduce his hours.

I have asked for a reduction of hour a day with 1.5 hours working from home.

There's no breakfast or after school club anymore due to covid.

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.

Unfortunately employers can pick and choose at the moment.

What about a childminder?

Businesses can and often are flexible but there is a difference between that and taking a job where a few weeks later you can’t fulfil the hours agreed.

Lots of employers are flexible but you generally need to be upfront about it when you take the job. It's just unfortunate timing for you that you didn't know when you took it that you'd need flexibility. Maybe if you make it clear that it's temporary during Covid until breakfast clubs etc begin again?

Will you have childcare for the 1.5 hours working from home? Can they not pick up from school?

If you won't have childcare you are being completely unreasonable in a new job. This isn't about employers bring flexible, it's about you doing the work (and hours) they hired you for.

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers

Well, yes but it works both ways, I mean I know circumstances can change but the needs of the business haven’t changed because you need to do the school run

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.

Why should they be? Your childcare responsibilities are you and your husband's, not your employer's.
It's stuff like this that makes women less employable.

So out of a contracted 8 hours (assuming 9am-5pm) you want to spend 2.5hrs away from the office? I'd not be happy at all, sorry, I realise that's not what you want to hear, but they recruited to suit the business need. The 1.5hrs you want to WFH, is this to cover after school childcare? It does look really bad.

if you do have to ask, for the love of god make it a time limited request until after school care is available. ANd do not make it 5x days a week - your husband has to pick something up at one end of hte day or other, or you have to hire a childminder.
If you are in a probationary period, they will take this into account when making their decision whether or not they are meant to. Is your performance so far utterly brilliant? will need to be.