would you be annoyed if a new person at work did this

[durdur]

I have started a new FT job. DH became redundant just after I got this job which now means I have to do the school run and dh used to work completely remote from home anyway so this was never an issue for us.

So I've asked to reduce my hours to fit in with school times.
I have only been there a few weeks. Would they refuse? I would leave if they did as we need one of us to do the drop off and pick ups.

I honestly feel bad for asking to reduce my hours.

@Bunnybigears
Whose job is most secure and or earns the most money? That is the person who needs to ask for flexible working not just automatically the woman.

As they are both new jobs I assume the security question is up for grabs but the OP has already said her DH is the major earner. The problem here is that commentators want to demonise the DH and they are really bothered about the actual circumstances.

As they are both new jobs I assume the security question is up for grabs not necessarily, the sector, size of company etc all play a role in how secure a job is no matter how long you have been employed there.

OP
All you can do is ask- tell them this has occurred to a change in circumstances.
I would maybe say they are unlikely to say yes and if they don't you will just have to accept the situation. If you prove yourself as a good employee, you may get the opportunity to revisit the subject later.
Likewise for your DH, maybe he can speak to his work about the situation and see if they will allow him to work from home , either now or in the future.

How far away is work from school?

Could you have your lunch break at school pick up time and drop DC off with relative/child minder?

DH can do the morning school run.

@Bunnybigears
it will be part of it but I would still assume that new roles have probation periods to see if the applicant is the right fit. If the OP or her DH are felt not to be the right fit it doesn't really matter about the sector or size of the company.- The security of the job will only be know after time.
I think the earning factor is the most important driving factor here (with the facts available) Added to that it's not a problem for the OP, so I am not sure why everyone is bashing her for it, instead of just answering her question.

@HiyaMeAgain

How far away is work from school?

Could you have your lunch break at school pick up time and drop DC off with relative/child minder?

DH can do the morning school run.

Or, of course, DH could pick up on his lunch break, and you do drop off?

I'm not an employer but as your fellow employee I would be pretty annoyed if our employer agreed to your request. Childcare is a nightmare, we all know that, and many parents have made sacrifices. During the primary school years we have used breakfast / after school clubs, childminders, Allowing my dc to be alone for short periods (latch key kids) and at one point resorted to begging on Facebook if any parent from the school could help me for cash payment. Not once did I consider asking my employer to reduce my hours or allow me to work from home. My childcare wasn't my there issue and there would never of been any guarantee of more hours once the children were older. Surely if your employer agrees to your request it has to be for the 'benefit of the service', which it doesn't sound like you working those hours would be. I wouldn't be surprised if they were pretty pissed off at you. And I agree with others, I cannot blame employers for being weary of employing women with young children when so many women still seem to be living in the 1970's and thinking childcare is their responsibility. It shouldn't matter what your job is or how much you earn, from your employers viewpoint you are the important one.

OP you haven’t addressed the question of whether you expect to be allowed to do 1.5 hours of your working day while looking after your children at home. Most contracts (including mine) specify that you cannot be responsible for children during working hours. The first lockdown proved to us all why that is the case-you simply cannot work effectively with children at home unless you’re able to close yourself in a room and not engage with your children during that time, and if that’s the case I would argue they’re of an age to get themselves home from school. For me that is a far cheekier request than a reduction in total contracted hours. The answer from me would be a resounding no. Yes employers should be flexible but being honest, under the arrangement you’re proposing you simply will not complete your contracted hours of work. You will be getting your kids drinks, breaking up squabbles and more. That’s not flexibility, it’s basically skiving. Salaries are a payment for work done, not a benefit to which we are all ‘entitled’. This arrangement isn’t workable and by asking for it, I imagine you have got off to an extremely poor start in this company, sorry.

I work local and dh has a commute and he is the higher earner so makes sense for him to not reduce his hours.

No, it doesn't. You're already much more vulnerable than him in a split, so it's you who needs to be putting in the hours and increasing your earning power.

It's pretty sad in my kind if I'm honest. Things haven't really changed much in the workplace over the last 50 years.

No, and things won't change if women keep sacrificing their careers for the Big Man Job.

@durdur

Wow. So much for negativity. I'm glad most of you aren't my line managers! The comment about this is why older women are preferred and why women don't get hired is just 🙄. Blame us for having kids and asking for flexibility!

You're not asking for flexibility though, you're asking to be paid to WFH for part of the day whilst also looking after your children (that you keep conveniently ignoring when multiple PP have asked). That's not flexibility that's called being paid to look after your kids.

Hire. A. Childminder.

Why are you making your childcare a problem for your employer? it's not their issue.

@GeorginaTheGiant

OP you haven’t addressed the question of whether you expect to be allowed to do 1.5 hours of your working day while looking after your children at home. Most contracts (including mine) specify that you cannot be responsible for children during working hours. The first lockdown proved to us all why that is the case-you simply cannot work effectively with children at home unless you’re able to close yourself in a room and not engage with your children during that time, and if that’s the case I would argue they’re of an age to get themselves home from school. For me that is a far cheekier request than a reduction in total contracted hours. The answer from me would be a resounding no. Yes employers should be flexible but being honest, under the arrangement you’re proposing you simply will not complete your contracted hours of work. You will be getting your kids drinks, breaking up squabbles and more. That’s not flexibility, it’s basically skiving. Salaries are a payment for work done, not a benefit to which we are all ‘entitled’. This arrangement isn’t workable and by asking for it, I imagine you have got off to an extremely poor start in this company, sorry.

I agree with this, and also think it would be better to ask for whole days working at home than to leave early, stop work for a while and then work from home for a bit - it would feel to everyone else like you're finishing when you leave, even if you don't, and they won't quite know when you can be reached again.

You’ve not answered people’s suggestions of getting a childminder OP.

@durdur

Ok so everyone would be annoyed.

I work local and dh has a commute and he is the higher earner so makes sense for him to not reduce his hours.

I have asked for a reduction of hour a day with 1.5 hours working from home.

There's no breakfast or after school club anymore due to covid.

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.

1.5 hours at home a week or a day? What's the nature of the work?

I think 37 hours in am office to 32 hours, but only 24.5 on the office is a huge ask

So you pay for before/after school care. That was the risk when you applied for and took a ft job. You can ask but business needs may well mean not accepted. Wfh may not be an option. You may be able to fet vouchers to offset some of the cost. What was your school holiday plan?

I'm a single parent so don't have a husband to help with the school run. As a result I have a childminder as I work full time. I drop off at 8am, she does the school runs and I pick up at 5.30pm.
My employer is extremely flexible. We can wfh, adjust hours for appointments and child related things if needs be, BUT, even they wouldn't be happy if I reduced my hours permanently to accommodate school runs.
There are other solutions available - nanny, childminder etc. But it seems like you don't want to pay for those, which isn't really the fault of your employer.
In short, no, if one of my new staff members came to me with this request I'd probably refuse on a long term basis. Sorry OP.

I think most companies are open to flexible working. However, if I understand correctly, you're asking them to accept you reducing your output by 5 hours/week and either arriving at work 1.5 hours later than expected or going home part way through the day or leaving 1.5 house early, and home working would presumably be with children in the house, perhaps in your care whilst you're working. I'm not sure that many managers would go for that tbh. It sounds very disruptive. Afraid as a manager, I would say no to that.

I'd go with an email.

Just explain that due to pandemic your DH was made redundant and new job means he can no longer do school run.

You've looked into wrap around care but Covid is making this impossible.

Say you are requesting x hours as flexible working until whatever date.

Don't say you'd have to leave. Don't expect them to agree. But in all honesty if you don't ask you'll never know if they'll agree or not.

Assuming there'll be wraparound from after Easter, could you not do the missing hour after bedtime and take the school run as your lunch break etc so you're not reducing hours?

cheesecrack I want to work for you!!!! 😀

@HerFlowersToLove

I think most companies are open to flexible working. However, if I understand correctly, you're asking them to accept you reducing your output by 5 hours/week and either arriving at work 1.5 hours later than expected or going home part way through the day or leaving 1.5 house early, and home working would presumably be with children in the house, perhaps in your care whilst you're working. I'm not sure that many managers would go for that tbh. It sounds very disruptive. Afraid as a manager, I would say no to that.

This is the thing OP, most (or at least many) employers are open to flexible working but it's got to align with business needs.

You've only recently been recruited so that means that recently your employer has looked at your role and determined that there are 37 hours of work to do each week. You want to drop to 32 hours so who's going to get the remaining 5 hours done? They're unlikely to be able to recruit someone to just work 5 hours per week, so does that mean the rest of your team now need to get all this work done spread between them?

Flexible working is great when it's approached properly, what sane employer wouldn't want to accommodate two happy and productive employees working 18.5 hours each, no difference to having a full timer. But how is one employee on 32 hours and the rest of the team stressed and pissed off a good option.

That's without going in to the fact you want to work with your kids at home. This has been allowed this year as an emergency measure but it's definitely not been productive, successful or helped with anyone's mental health, so I can't see many employers allowing it on a long term basis.

Reducing your hours to drop off the children - fair enough.

Being paid to WFH so you can look after your children - cheeky and unreasonable.

durdur You have been asked about a childminder but haven’t replied?

I'm about as flexible as employers come.

I offer every post on a flexible hours basis because I'd rather have an excellent person for the hours they can do than an adequate person FT.

I've been encouraging my staff to flex their hours during the dark months and around appointments and childcare.

I've been steadily promoting two women showing exceptional progress after they spent some time focusing on child rearing.

I'd still think you were a bit of a tit for coming looking for PT hours so soon after taking a FT post.

@thecatsthecats

I'm about as flexible as employers come.

I offer every post on a flexible hours basis because I'd rather have an excellent person for the hours they can do than an adequate person FT.

I've been encouraging my staff to flex their hours during the dark months and around appointments and childcare.

I've been steadily promoting two women showing exceptional progress after they spent some time focusing on child rearing.

I'd still think you were a bit of a tit for coming looking for PT hours so soon after taking a FT post.

thecatsthecats then you wouldn't have a problem with reducing the hours slightly?