would you be annoyed if a new person at work did this

[durdur]

I have started a new FT job. DH became redundant just after I got this job which now means I have to do the school run and dh used to work completely remote from home anyway so this was never an issue for us.

So I've asked to reduce my hours to fit in with school times.
I have only been there a few weeks. Would they refuse? I would leave if they did as we need one of us to do the drop off and pick ups.

I honestly feel bad for asking to reduce my hours.

If I were your employer I'd be asking

• is your DH doing their share of flexible working?
• how long will this arrangement go on for, will you revert to FT when after school and breakfast clubs restart?
• have you explored childminders?
• what arrangements do you have for school holidays?
• will your DC be at home while you are WFH?

@Trousersareoverrated

Why are people so up in arms about this?! OP has asked and they can always say no. What on earth is the point of struggling to get a Childminder before even asking about an easier option? Also you have no idea what OP does- it may make no difference to her co-workers whether she works from home or not. The company may welcome the money saving of her dropping a few hours or be able to offer them to someone else.

For what it’s worth at my work it would be absolutely fine. The flexibility of being able to drop my children off at school, go to their school plays etc and making up the time later is one of the reasons I’ve stayed so long.

It's the timing of it. If OP had been there for a while or if she was asking before starting then people might have some advice on the specific request, and she'd still need to be prepared that they might say no, but no one would be telling her not to ask for the flexibility. Doing it after you've been hired but before you've settled in is appalling timing and isn't at all likely to go down well, and that's what people are trying to tell the OP.

As an employer, regardless of your partner's salary, I would expect you to present to me how your partner or other family member/wrap around care is picking up some of the drop offs or pick ups, if only some days a week. He should be asking the same of his employer, be it for flexible starts or finishes, working at home or reduced hours. Just because he earns more, it does not mean his contributions towards childcare are to be discounted and your employer should take on all the adjustments.

Obviously it depends on the nature of the job and the employer, and I'd say also on the age of the children and whether it is possible to work productively and look after them at the same time.

I'd ask for a reduction in hours as a temporary measure, until wrap around care at school starts again or until you can find a child minder. Work might be more likely to agree that. And you never know if you can show that it works they might be prepared to extend it.

When we had young children, my husband and I both had long commutes, so we had a childminder for before and after school.

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.

But they engaged you on a full-time basis and you're now wanting to change the terms of that, very early on. Your childcare requirements aren't their problem. Who's supposed to pick up the slack at your workplace if you're working five hours less per week than you originally agreed to work?

If I was an employer I would have expected this to be raised during the offer process. Have you explored before or afterschool club?

For me as a manager and someone who hires regulary, a new post is usually designed with specific needs in mind and if I only have enough work for a part time role that is what I advertise and fill, if I have a full time post that can be a job share I will consider that...

If I change a roles hours so soon after recruiting my HR would be jumping up and down as someone who needed a part time post would have applied for it if those hours were stated up front and by advertising a full time post I have precluded that opportunity....

and I work for a large public body who are really 'hot' on this at the moment...

However, if you came to me and explained the school run thing would be temporary due to Covid and you had a plan for resolution, I would work with you to rearrange the hours if possible so you made up the time later that day etc but only if the role enabled that flexibility

@durdur

Ok so everyone would be annoyed.

I work local and dh has a commute and he is the higher earner so makes sense for him to not reduce his hours.

I have asked for a reduction of hour a day with 1.5 hours working from home.

There's no breakfast or after school club anymore due to covid.

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.

no wonder he's the higher earner if his job always takes precedence.

Employers are often flexible, but it works both ways.

Why don't you ask if you can work flexibly ie come in later and finish earlier but make up the time in the evening when your OH is home?

Flexible working absolutely should be a thing but op isn't asking for flexible she's asking for reduced hours, permanently, in a new job. That's a different thing.

I'd be incredibly annoyed if I had just taken someone on with contracted hours in the office who then asked for this. Childminder to do the school runs?

My company is incredibly flexible, I've changed my working hours 4 times in the last 2 years. However I think even my bosses would be a bit O_o about this so soon after starting and agreeing your FT hours.

I also get annoyed by the whole 'well he earns more than me so I make all the compromises' yes you need a certain amount of money to survive but remember that reducing your hours is impacting your pension contributions and unfortunately in a lot of places your potential for progression. There are plenty of senior people out there that are doing the school run.

However having also just started a new job he is in the same position as you and its a bit ridiculous you didn't have this conversation together when he was applying for it. You are just going to have to pay for childcare until you are both more settled in.

It's not ok to wfh whilst looking after DC in my workplace.

I would consider you adjusting your working hours to accommodate one end of the day, e.g. work 7:30-15:30 or 9:30-17:30. Your DH should seek to cover the other end of the day.

Or get a childminder.

its a new job - im presuming you are still being trained? How on earth can you be trained and whilst working away from the people training you?

I have recently employed a FT person, they have been here 3 months already and due to the nature of the work, they could not be left alone as they are still in a learning environment/training is required

My employer automatically refuses flexible working requests until you have been employed for 26 weeks, if you already have flexibility approved a new request would cancel the old one.

I’m not allowed to start work any later than 8:30am, breakfast club hasn’t opened again at my sons school. I am however allowed to book my lunch break to cut my working day short. So he drops my son off at school (about a forty minute round walk) and finishes work forty minutes later.

You also need to ask yourself how you'd feel if, having just started the job, your employer wanted to change your hours to accommodate a change in the business.

Obviously it depends on the nature of the job and the employer, and I'd say also on the age of the children and whether it is possible to work productively and look after them at the same time.

If the kids are young enough that they need someone to do the school run then OP shouldn't be working from home without childcare. A one off (or temporary due to Covid) maybe, but long term it's not acceptable.

*someone to do the school run and be at home with them.

Basically you are asking your work to accept that all childcare duties will be on you. If you want a chance of this being accepted you need to

• do at least one full day in the office and have your DH do drop off/pick up this day
• ensure them that child sickness/isolation will be covered 50/50 by both parents, not just you
• ensure them that during the 1.5h you propose to work from home someone else will be looking after the children

Why is it a shame employers aren’t flexible? You chose to have kids not them. You took the job or stayed on a job where you have set hours. Surely you knew this would be an issue before you took the job on? Even if at the time DH had no job but now does, you knew it would be a problem doing pick ups and drop offs. I think you’re being unreasonable, not to say an employer won’t allow this but it wouldn’t be looked at favourable. Also why wfh for 1.5 hours? I can’t see an employer allowing that, surely you’d be less productive with all the chopping and changing

definitley your husband needs to do some of this - either he starts a bit later & works later so he can drop off

or he starts early some days and does pick up

you do the same - it should be equal

its a new job - im presuming you are still being trained? How on earth can you be trained and whilst working away from the people training you?
Eh? The internet. Zoom calls, Teams, emails. I started a new job during Lockdown 1 and I’ve not set foot in the office once. And for what it’s worth my employer is super flexible about childcare and school runs. As a line manager I wouldn’t give a hoot about such a request so long as your work got done, and done well. I don’t nitpick my team’s exact log-on and log-off times, or watch their Teams status colour like a hawk around lunchtime.

@Justmuddlingalong

Why can't he ask for reduced hours then?

Never occurs to them that does it? Always the mother's problem to sort out.

My husband got a new job a few months ago after losing his previous one in March. His contract was for weekday day shift hours (necessary as I work shifts). When he started they told him they were now doing shiftwork in order that they could have 'bubbles', so there was always at least one team available. So with great difficulty, we got a nanny. She then left after a few weeks as she could get more hours at her other job. DH asked to work his contracted hours. They said no. So he had to leave.

Requests are not unreasonable, but plan for no being the answer, especially right now.

@PhlegmyHead

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.

Why should they be? Your childcare responsibilities are you and your husband's, not your employer's.
It's stuff like this that makes women less employable.

It’s stuff like this that makes older women more employable.

*There's no breakfast or after school club anymore due to covid.

It's a shame employers aren't more flexible with parents or even other carers.*

Use a before and after school childminder - that's what we have to do. 🤷‍♀️

Employers under no obligation to agree to reduce your hours or give you flexibility abs to be honest I'd be pretty annoyed if my new employee asked.