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Original poster

would you be annoyed if a new person at work did this

274 replies

durdur · 01/12/2020 11:23

I have started a new FT job. DH became redundant just after I got this job which now means I have to do the school run and dh used to work completely remote from home anyway so this was never an issue for us.

So I've asked to reduce my hours to fit in with school times.
I have only been there a few weeks. Would they refuse? I would leave if they did as we need one of us to do the drop off and pick ups.

I honestly feel bad for asking to reduce my hours.

OP posts:
CloudyVanilla · 01/12/2020 12:11

I wish jobs would be more flexible about this stuff. Kids need picking up and taking to school! I'm very grateful my job are so good with stuff like this and if it is like most officr jobs then there is no reason for them not to be more agile.

I love taking my kids to school. Don't know why parents are expected to pay hundreds in wraparound care just for the sake of leaving the house for a few minutes to bring them home.

I know it's not a one size fits all but employers can and should offer that kind of flexibilty.

mumtobabygilrl · 01/12/2020 12:11

My work would recuse. I'd be expected to use breakfast club and after school clubs like other working parents. If these aren't running due to COVID they may temporarily let you though?

ChateauMargaux · 01/12/2020 12:11

Childminder, part time nanny, local student who is attending university remotely, other parent who would be willing to help? Can your DH start later and do drop off while you start earlier and do pick up?

mumtobabygilrl · 01/12/2020 12:12

*refuse

TheHomelands2020 · 01/12/2020 12:12

Yes I'd be annoyed as a new employer.

CloudyVanilla · 01/12/2020 12:13

Oh OP I have to say in the context though it is a little cheeky - brand new job, no mention of it before being hired etc.

But in principle I think it should be less of a big deal

MyMajesty · 01/12/2020 12:13

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Why is it you that has to change?
Exactly. DH should not have taken a job where he couldn't do the school run - or he should at least be checking out the arrangements he needs to make.

I guess he's worry free about the childcare, tho.

ChateauMargaux · 01/12/2020 12:14

I see everyone else has said the same... make it time limited, share this between your DH's employer and yours.. find a permanent solution.

cologne4711 · 01/12/2020 12:15

Pay a childminder for the after-school bit. If your DH has a FT job and is earning more, you must be able to afford it.

Mrgrinch · 01/12/2020 12:18

I highly doubt they'll agree to that OP.

Floralnomad · 01/12/2020 12:18

Get a childminder to drop off , I’m sorry but I think it’s really cheeky to ask for reduction of hours and wfh when you’ve only just started . I assume the 1.5 hrs you want to work from home is after school pick up which I would also have issues with .

WorraLiberty · 01/12/2020 12:19

Lots of employers are flexible

But you can't blame yours for your husband taking a job that doesn't suit his family life.

GreyishDays · 01/12/2020 12:20

Could he move his hours so he can do drop off? Then you ask to finish early two days, but start earlier. And do after school club three days.
Or something.

Bluntness100 · 01/12/2020 12:21

Op this is what is called wrap around care. Possibly can you find a child mince who will do the school run for you and pick up, who you can drop kids off early and pick up late to?

wimto · 01/12/2020 12:22

Pay a childminder to do drop off if you H is on a lot of money in his new job!

Why is this just your problem though. What is DHs plan or solution for this? Have you discussed? Or does he just think it’s your job and you’ve just accepted that

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/12/2020 12:22

The opportunity to ask for flexibility is before you start the job

Megan2018 · 01/12/2020 12:25

This would not be approved by my employer as you won’t have been there long enough to qualify. But they may offer temporary reduction due to Covid with an expectation wrap around care at school is used when available.

This should be a joint issue for both of, it’s infuriating that lower earners (usually women) think childcare is only their problem. There’s no hope for society whilst this sort of nonsense persists.

Backbee · 01/12/2020 12:25

I would ask, anyone can apply for flexible working, including those you work with who could have put in a request at any point, but similarly an employer can obviously refuse. For some it saves them a bit of money so they might be okay with it (obviously your pay would decrease by doing less hours), but if they need a full time member of staff then that's all they really need to put in their response to the request, and you probably wouldn't be in a position to contest it. Sure your manager might think 'badly' of you, but it's a pandemic, and it's not like you are just scooting off to do it and trying to hide the fact, you are requesting a formal reduction in hours.

KnobJockey · 01/12/2020 12:26

Yes, I would be annoyed. From full time, to leaving an hour early, plus working from home for 1.5 hours, which I presume you would also be doing childcare for?
If I was your employer, if possible I would consider you starting late so you could do the drop off, on the proviso that you hire a childminder to do pick up and after school. No working from home where you are the only childcare, as you cannot provide full attention then.

Surely you'd be better off getting childcare than giving up the job anyway?

TokyoSushi · 01/12/2020 12:26

@edwinbear

So out of a contracted 8 hours (assuming 9am-5pm) you want to spend 2.5hrs away from the office? I'd not be happy at all, sorry, I realise that's not what you want to hear, but they recruited to suit the business need. The 1.5hrs you want to WFH, is this to cover after school childcare? It does look really bad.
If it's this then I don't think that you can do it.

Are you asking to come in late and then leave at, say 2:30 pm and pick up work from home with the kids there?

I don't think that you can have it all ways, the late start maybe, but not the after school bit.

Backbee · 01/12/2020 12:26

You do need to have worked for 26 weeks to be legally eligible to apply btw, but they might entertain it sooner.

dun1urkin · 01/12/2020 12:27

I reduced my hours to 0.90 3 months after starting a new job to improve my work life balance (no DC) and my workplace were were supportive, request discussed, in and enacted all within a 2 week window.
So it can, and does, happen without too much trauma sometimes Smile
I know I was very lucky, and factors that might have helped were that although I har changing organisations, it was one NHS job to another, and I was already ‘well known’ in my new organisation.

CooperLooper · 01/12/2020 12:28

If the request for 1.5hrs per day WFH is to allow you to look after your children at the same time then that wouldn't be approved in my company. If you're looking after children then you're not working.

WeAllHaveWings · 01/12/2020 12:30

I have asked for a reduction of hour a day with 1.5 hours working from home.

I wouldn't be happy with that.

Can your dh do one of the drop off or pick up?

Most people who WFH do it when the kids are at school to save on commute time, the kids still go to afterschool etc inside working hours, unless they are old enough to be completely independent. Your 1.5 hours WFH will not be fully productive with school aged kids to care for at the same time so it is more like 2.5hrs a day which is getting into the realm of part time hours.

You could ask for some support for a limited period of time while you try to find suitable alternative arrangements such as a childminder.

thirstyformore · 01/12/2020 12:31

Why can't your husband ask as well and at least share the school runs? I earn considerably more than my husband (x3ish) but I still do the school run when I can and I always block out Friday afternoon to pick my youngest up. Me and my husband generally share the role.

My work would be happy to consider requests from everyone, regardless of sex or earning capacity!

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