Is buying secondhand / brand new baby stuff a class thing?

[Throwawayname123]

NC in case I get flamed for this! But I am genuinely wondering... although I won't say which side I come down on.

I'm wondering if class affects whether people buy brand new expensive baby stuff or go for second hand?
In my experience, the upper middle class types, seem to prefer second hand stuff, although they could easily afford new, whereas the more working class want their baby to have "the best" and spend £££ on things like travel systems (even though they can't afford it as easily).

My mum was appalled at my BIL buying a second hand travel system and clothes and a cot.

She saw it as a sign of financial abuse and denying his children anything and abusing them too. Never mind the fact that he paid all the bills and the mortgage and did a massive share of the housework and bought cars and everything for my sister who was a SAHM.

My mum saw second hand items as abuse. She still mentions it today as a disgrace even though DNs are 6 and 9. I said to her ask the girls if they are upset that they had second hand baby clothes / pram etc

I said you can see the wisdom not to buy everything new given how fast they grow.

Mum had none of it. She was from a working class background

I think it's because people like to find any way to judge WC, so then they feel the need to get the best of the best etc to avoid judgement. Because most will sit there and say they buy second hand and dont judge, but if a MC woman rocks up to the school gate in her dog walking gear, filthy as anything hair not brushed no one would think anything, if a WC class woman did the same and her children were in tatty clothes (because nursery wrecks them all!) Questions would be asked. It's a horrible stereotype that people play in to, and even now if WC buy brand new they are then called tacky etc. Cant win really.

Obviously that doesnt go for everyone, people might just like brand new etc. Or grew up with nothing so like to buy the best, and if they can then why not.

Think it depends on how many children too. I had everything brand new for my first, spent far too much. My second I realised how much I wasted so gladly accepted hand me downs and have passed loads on. I'm WC.

We got second hand simply because we didn't have the money (dh was a student until 3 weeks before she was born).
We had a 30 year old cot (repainted) a 40 year old Buggy (which did 3 children very nicely) and a lovely very old silver cross pram, and the Moses Basket that dh's parents had used for him, and possibly his grandma before that.
I cut up an old sheet to make sheets and bought a couple of blankets from charity shops (one beautifully marked with "Property of X Hospital, do not remove", as I found once I'd got it out.)
Only new thing we got was the highchair which was a Christmas present.

It was nothing to do with wanting either-we didn't really have a choice.

I think it's because people like to find any way to judge WC, ... if a MC woman rocks up to the school gate in her dog walking gear, filthy as anything hair not brushed no one would think anything, if a WC class woman did the same and her children were in tatty clothes questions would be asked. It's a horrible stereotype that people play in to, and even now if WC buy brand new they are then called tacky etc. Cant win really.
Absolutely.
Second hand? Ugh if people cannot afford children, they shouldn't have them. They can't expect the state to support them.
New? Oh got money to waste have they? We never had be stuff for hours, i don't know how they have the gall

I think it depends upon the individual. However, if it’s your first child and you fully intend to go on and have another one or two, then buying some things new can be more cost effective in the long run.

We bought a variety of new and second (or third) hand things for our children. There were a few things that it was important to me were new (first outfit, breast pump, mattress, car seat etc) and others I couldn’t care less about how many babies had used them before.

I think confidence more than class determines purchases. My dh has an oldish car but could afford to buy a new one. A few of his colleagues have commented on it and one even suggested he just lease s new car. Mine is 8 years old but could afford a new one. Our view is if it works and nothing wrong with it why replace. I have a large family and tbh they bought much of my baby stuff for first. Second and third had new things when we needed them but I often bought second hand and was given hand me downs from my sisters children.

@Throwawayname123

NC in case I get flamed for this! But I am genuinely wondering... although I won't say which side I come down on.

I'm wondering if class affects whether people buy brand new expensive baby stuff or go for second hand?
In my experience, the upper middle class types, seem to prefer second hand stuff, although they could easily afford new, whereas the more working class want their baby to have "the best" and spend £££ on things like travel systems (even though they can't afford it as easily).

Yes, it’s a “class thing”. Just because you don’t buy into the idea of absolutely everything being brand new and shiny shiny. does not mean you couldn’t fork out for it, if you wished. Most sensible people don’t.

Yes. There's no glamour in second hand if it's all you can afford, and it's too close to the bone for people on lower incomes.

That applies to cars, sofas etc also. I believe there are people who change their furniture on a regular basis. Surely furniture should have sentimental value, should be eclectic and interesting and should be there for the duration.

It’s another class thing. Just because you don’t, does not mean you can’t.

Not always true. My baby groups were full of mc women in similar roles/pay to me wittering on about their amazing prams (that cost more than my car!).

I could afford a new one just didnt see the point and certainly wasnt interested in discussing it in a baby group! Got a 2nd hand travel system for my first born then got rid as it was heavy and bulky and pretty useless after 3 months.DC2 had a normal buggy that lay flat from day 1.

In my experience yes. I have sold many high quality second hand items on Facebook and it’s always someone very middle class who picks up.
I also know some working class families who were insistent that second baby needed a brand new pram.
My poor 2nd son had hardly any new clothes When younger. I buy him some new stuff these days as he’s started noticing 🙄 but both kids get some second hand toys for Christmas.

@cheeseismydownfall

Yes, I think your observation is correct based on my experience.

As a PP said, I think it is down to confidence, and a lack of concern about whether they are being judged.

People who claim not to 'see' or 'understand' class in this country are either lying, self-deceiving or chronically unperceptive. You don't have to like is, you don't have to buy into it, or feel bothered about it. But of course it is bloody there.

People who claim not to 'see' or 'understand' class in this country are either lying, self-deceiving or chronically unperceptive. You don't have to like is, you don't have to buy into it, or feel bothered about it. But of course it is bloody there.

Methinks they do protest too much.

And pp is right it can definitely apply to cars etc too. My own high earning very middle class husband HATES buying new clothes. He gives in only very occasionally.
It’s possible that middle classes are more environmentally conscious. But it’s more nuanced than that obviously

@caringcarer

I think confidence more than class determines purchases. My dh has an oldish car but could afford to buy a new one. A few of his colleagues have commented on it and one even suggested he just lease s new car. Mine is 8 years old but could afford a new one. Our view is if it works and nothing wrong with it why replace. I have a large family and tbh they bought much of my baby stuff for first. Second and third had new things when we needed them but I often bought second hand and was given hand me downs from my sisters children.

Exactly mine too.

I think it's also a political divide. I suspect that left wing middle class people buy second hand, right wing buy new. It's that way with the people I know.

I buy everything second hand, good brands that are cheap enough that I won't be bothered if the kids trash it.

I iron nothing.

My nana and mum grew up poor and always wanted to save for the nicest things.
I'm.compartively much more wealthy and I get second hand as I love Barton hunting

I'd rather have money in the bank than waste it and feel comfortable. I don't like wastefulness. I've become even more like this since the lockdown.

My dc always had nice things though. DD thinks nothing of buying dgd 2nd had clothing or shopping in the charity shop. She likes to reuse things

Bargin hunting lol

The expression “travel systems” is making me smile.

It’s possible that middle classes are more environmentally conscious

Yes, when it suits them.
That's me.
Try to reduce, reuse etc yet my children have flown all over the world on holiday with us.
It's easy to give up things you aren't bothered about (like fancy new prams)

Yes I suspect their carbon footprint is much bigger and they but and consume far more in general. But like to feel quite self satsfied that they are somehow better/more environmentally conscious because they accepted their friends second hand frugli bits or bought a metal straw....

@PineappleUpsideDownCake yes - exactly this. You would need to be doing a lot of recycling and second hand shopping to make up for long haul flights. And all of those old workhorse cars - are they better for the environment than newer cars? I see lots of families here driving around in beat up old volvos and landrovers - I don't know what the mph is like on them, but I assume they must be passing the emissions tests for their MOTs.

Oh god, I buy everything second hand! All my baby clothes/toys/baby equipment are from eBay and then I sell them on again! I get a lot from charity shops too. I refuse to spend £15 on a pack of baby grows when I can get a huge bundle on eBay for that price.

I'm skint though

My first baby, 18 years ago I wasn't broke. I had a lot of money. I was a little cow about it. I cringe when I think of how I was. Everything was new. Maybe it's because I was young (22) but I was horrible. I would sneer at people who used charity shops.

My divorce took the lot and I ended op on benefits. Things are far better than that now but as I've grown up, I love buying second hand and a good rummage in a charity shop is my idea of fun. I'm no longer the massive wanker I was.

The sad thing is that a mother and child walking out of housing assoc in a grubby buggy and not quite the right sized clothes will be judged. A quirky hippy wealthy type in the same set up in the country not so much. this in spades! When I was living my wealthy life in the countryside there were many families rolling out of their Range Rovers with muddy children in ripped clothes. It was quite the thing to do.

I thought of this thread as I've just been to a pet shop (it's mainly for dogs and horses - I have neither but you can buy other pet food in bulk) Whenever I turn up, I always feel like the poor relation in my 12 year old car. Everything else in the carpark is usually a range rover or 4 x 4 and only a few years old, but I think majority will be MC horsey types just because of the type of shop it is.