Is buying secondhand / brand new baby stuff a class thing?

[Throwawayname123]

NC in case I get flamed for this! But I am genuinely wondering... although I won't say which side I come down on.

I'm wondering if class affects whether people buy brand new expensive baby stuff or go for second hand?
In my experience, the upper middle class types, seem to prefer second hand stuff, although they could easily afford new, whereas the more working class want their baby to have "the best" and spend £££ on things like travel systems (even though they can't afford it as easily).

Deffo. And it goes beyond that. When I was a kid I was so so embarrassed by how poor we were and the fact that we could only afford to shop in Aldi.

Now I'm an adult, a doctor, and I'm completely comfortable shopping there.

We're ok financially (I'm a nurse and husband on a similar wage to me) and we buy most of our stuff second hand. I think it's a confidence thing.

My MIL came from a poor background but married my FIL who earned well and when now lie when she asks if we've bought stuff second hand because it horrified her. I was once really chuffed I had found a M&S winter coat which was perfect for my daughter, like new for £2 and she offered to go to M&S there and then to buy me a new one if I couldn't afford it. She really struggles to understand that we could buy new but why would be want to when we could save £25 or so?

I think there is a tendency of people with money to focus on quality where it matters. So I would buy the best car seat possible or the pram that has all the bells and whistles that I care about, but am happy to dress my kids in clothes from the consignment sale and buy second hand toys.

I'm working class and virtually everything DS has is second hand. If I was buying new, I'd have to buy cheap - I get better quality items for the same price when buying secondhand.

As a side note, all of my own clothes (aside from underwear and socks) are secondhand too.

@PineappleUpsideDownCake interesting - we are one of the earliest of our friends to have a baby and we have been given a couple of things but not much - a baby rocker, bath and a spare carseat.
Also none of the grandparents have offered to buy big things - my mum is knitting a jumper and a toy, but nothing big.

It's not just baby stuff, it's everything. My friend is married to a man from a very old-money family and his mother scores kerbside freebies. I don't think it's fear of judgement that drives people to overspend. I guess at some point moneyed folk realise there is nothing you can buy that makes much difference. Either that, or they get poor buying crap they don't need. People who are used to going without can still be convinced that there is that magic item that will make all the difference.
Affordable luxuries like fancy toiletries and brand-name junk food have the same association, hence the stereotype of the aristocrat using the last slither of soap, vs working class buying Pepsi and smokes at convenience stores.

For some people, buying second-hand is not a choice.

HTH

@PolytheneHam yes that makes far more sense to me! And I agree about underwear - that feels slightly "icky" to me.

@haircutsRus yes I realise that, and I said upthread that's not really what I'm talking about, I'm wondering about the ones who do have a choice...

Absolutely, and it extends beyond babies, too.

I am not British but would say I am pretty much bang in the middle of the MC.

I buy what I find that I like and is interesting to me and makes financial sense- so a combo of second hand and new depending. I could afford all new but - why would I?

DH family is WC and they think I am insane. They buy the blandest things brand new and spend a fortune when they can ill afford it. They would feel embarrassed to buy second hand so would rather have less or go without.

As a non Brit I find this very odd!

Our family is lower working class and so many of DD's toys have been second hand or bought in a sale. It's not just the money we are wary about but the amount of plastic.

Growing up, I had most things second hand, as did my little brother. There wasn't really much choice in the matter, we always had just enough but nothing more. However, everything was ironed, our clothes were of the smarter, old fashioned style that mum had when she was little.
She wanted us to look "proper". That meant no leggings, no tracksuits. She eventually relented on jeans.
Thing is, my mum hated the sort of clothes that we could have afforded first hand and we couldn't afford to buy the stuff she did like new.

@Throwawayname123, obviously it is a generalisation, and might be specific to where we lived (Midwest), but false modestly and 'inverse snobbery' as we would call it in the UK (and which is what this thread is about, really) just was not a thing. People on the whole were comfortable translating their wealth into the material things that they wanted (trucks featuring heavily ) without worrying about social signalling.

It was much harder to read what someone's family background might be - I guess what we would call old money vs new money, which is generally very easy to read in the UK - but perhaps that's because I wouldn't be able to pick up on differences in accent, vocabulary choices, or subtleties like where someone went to college (unless it was somewhere I had heard of i.e. Ivy League).

Overall I don't think class exists in the same way in the US. Social/economic divides - hell, yes, obviously - but there is something intangible about class in the UK which is perhaps unique to us.

(I know this makes me sound like I am absolutely class obsessed! I'm not, I promise, I just find it interesting. But am I signally my middle-classness by even saying that? )

We call in the “could easily afford brand new” category, but mainly went second hand for baby & toddler stuff.
I did get brand new Perfect Prep machine, breast pump & bottles though as I was paranoid about hygiene

I think you’re right. I buy new but often sell DS’ old things on eBay and lots of the addresses are The Old Rectory or Soandso Manor.

My DM dressed me in DBro’s hand me downs and in 2nd hand growing up (despite having plenty of money). Always the old school uniform so it was noticeable and I was teased. I hated it and swore I’d never do that to my DC.

Agreed that it extends into all areas.
It's getting more extreme, I think. I don't think that the pressure to look nice for people on lower incomes is new but, when my mum was little, this would have entailed darning things so that clothes were never holey because you couldn't afford to buy new and didn't want your child going around with holey clothes. By the time I was born, it meant spending money you didn't have on things you didn't need.

Yes, I think its right, its like the lower end designer wear, those that really cannot afford it love to have a piece, or love to wear fake designer.

@PineappleUpsideDownCake

The sad thing is that a mother and child walking out of housing assoc in a grubby buggy and not quite the right sized clothes will be judged. A quirky hippy wealthy type in the same set up in the country not so much.

These threads often lead to the middle class patting themselves on their back for being suprrior for buying second hand and looking down on less privilidged. They're actually contributing to the judgement people feel...

Yes I think you are spot on here

My kids have mostly second hand stuff. I speak with a very middle class accent and am educated so I don't feel like I have to justify it

My sister is on benefits, has lots of kids and lives on a housing estate. She wouldn't dream of second hand, she doesn't even pass between her kids for fear of judgement

On the subject of class and signalling, we drive old cars because they are practical, sensible, new cars are a ridiculous waste of money etc, and those are the values I want to project. But I secretly covet a shiny Land Rover Discovery (which we could afford, if we wanted) and secretly admire everyone who just brazens it out and drives them. Even though I hate myself for it

Absolutely OP.

There are crossovers of course though.

@cheeseismydownfall haha yes we have a manky old toyota, but when I'm a "real" grown up I want a navy blue BMW!

I think people with plenty of cash take pride in being environmentally friendly or sensible with money and buying 2nd hand.
Whereas if you’re buying your child a 2nd hand coat because you have to, their might be a feeling of shame or stigma, rather than pride

I think it's a confidence thing. Most of the clothes we bought were second hand and all the toys and books are second hand. I really dont care what people think - the kids are clean, warm and happy and dont know the difference between "new" and "second hand".
I also care alot about the environment and the thought of materials being used to create something that already excists makes me unconfortable

The environmental thing is a good point too.

I'm also a bit of a natural hoarder so hate throwing out stuff that "might be useful"... (this is why our garage is full of random little bits of wood)

Yup cheese. Our banger died last year. DH (see my previous post) went out and bought a just slightly second hand Mercedes. I now drive around in my work van instead.

(And I agree with a PP about how smug it sounds, I am aware)