Funeral costs

[GreenPlum]

Not sure where to put this. Sorry!
Just wondering what the average cost of a funeral is these days (pre-covid, I suppose). I'd like proper first hand experience rather than random figures quoted online by funeral directors.

Seems wrong to talk about it now, but I'm managing my elderly fathers finances and wanting to know how much to squirrel away into a side account to cover costs. My mums was 12 years ago and Dad dealt with it all so I can't remember.

Thank you.

In April about £3k but height of COVID so no cars, we sorted flowers and order of service which usually funeral directors would do. At local crematorium

Mum died 2 months ago.

Bare minimum, as per her wishes (cremation / 2 cars / few flowers / "cost effective" coffin, absolutely no bells or whistles) and it was £4K

Oh and I'm not sure how much it varies with location. We're in London (central)

It costs as much as you want to spend! Cremation is around £750 (depends on the crematorium, you can see their rates online), a basic no frills funeral package with entry level coffin will be around £1500 on top, but then there's flowers (can you do your own?) cars (drive yourself?) a reception afterwards (house, everyone contributes a dish?) or all of these things add up, and you can have a posher coffin, live organist, extras, horse drawn hearse etc. If you want a church service it was £465 this year where I work including organist. Direct funerals are the most economical option, under £1000, as I say - do variable.

I've recently paid £3,500 for my mum's. We had a very basic one with simple flowers.
Hearse and 1 car. We had a independent celebrant because it was a non religious ceremony at the local crematorium.
My dd works at a photography place and made and printed the order of service's.
Luckily my DM paid into a funeral plan so it was all covered.

We paid £1300 for a direct cremation for my mum. Basically it just means they collect the body and cremate it (no one present, no funeral as such) and then you go and collect the ashes afterwards to do as you wish with (you can have a remembrance service and scatter them or just do as we did and scatter them on a favourite rural walk etc etc). Mum didn’t have any friends or relatives apart from me so it made sense for me to do that but I know not everyone would like that.

I have discussed this with my parents and all three of us want direct cremation.

Our local funeral director charges £3k for direct cremation so we will be looking at online companies which generally come in around £1500

Thank you all so much.

Assuming things are back to normal, it would be all the regulars, I suppose. Mid range coffin, one car, maybe two, hearse, organist, flowers in church, priest fees (Do they charge? We're Catholic) burial fees (he'll go in Mum's plot as she was buried deep) (opening that up again will be horrific, I've just realized 😳) funeral director fees, wake in the pub afterwards. Anything else?

You don't squirrel money away though, the funeral costs come out of the estate. Why do you feel you need to remover money from your fathers regular account now?

@FundamentallyFucked

You don't squirrel money away though, the funeral costs come out of the estate. Why do you feel you need to remover money from your fathers regular account now?

Because not everyone has an estate?

Order of service. Notification in local paper (my father's cost £300!). You are expected to make a donation to the church.

@FundamentallyFucked

You don't squirrel money away though, the funeral costs come out of the estate. Why do you feel you need to remover money from your fathers regular account now?

I don't mean squirrel away in a deceptive way. I just mean to save in an appropriate and responsible manner.

These bills will need paying and there won't be cash available from the estate.

So would £5,000 cover it?

Lockdown 1 funeral for my mum was £3k. No cars, one funeral wreath, crematorium. 4 of us at the crematorium service.
She thought she’d have enough from her £5k funeral plan for a decent service and tea afterwards. I know totally get why my gran told us to eat up and take scones homes from my grandads funeral tea!!!

When my granddad died 10 years ago the 3 person plot/hole at the cemetery was £6k, stone was £2k and god knows the rest of the costs!!

Pre lockdown in the South East with no cars and minimal flowers my mum’s funeral cost £7k for very mid-range everything. Her wake cost £1k (we had a fabulous party). If I was doing it again I’d spend £1k on the funeral and £7k on the wake.

You can buy a funeral plan now if you want, but be aware it wont cover everything.

priest fees (Do they charge? We're Catholic)
When my mum died 3 years ago, the funeral director suggested a donation of £200 to the priest. I honestly thought she was joking turns out she wasn't. The Priest was not helpful in any way, in fact, he was bloody horrible.
We put £50 in an envelope for him.
It cost £750 to open the burial plot my dad died years ago.
Her funeral cost around £4,000.

If there is an estate, and I know there isn’t always, the funeral bill can be agreed to be paid after the sale of the estate - you don’t need to pay it upfront.

I don't mean squirrel away in a deceptive way. I just mean to save in an appropriate and responsible manner.

These bills will need paying and there won't be cash available from the estate.

This makes no sense. If there is money there for you to 'save in an appropriate and responsible manner' then there is money there. It doesn't need to be separated.

Because not everyone has an estate?

But if the money is there to pay for the funeral now why would it not be there when needed?

@premiumhob

I don't mean squirrel away in a deceptive way. I just mean to save in an appropriate and responsible manner.

These bills will need paying and there won't be cash available from the estate.

This makes no sense. If there is money there for you to 'save in an appropriate and responsible manner' then there is money there. It doesn't need to be separated.

What difficult to understand? I want to put aside enough money to cover the cost of a funeral so I know it won't get spent on other things.

All I'm asking is how much that will be.

Thank you to those of you making useful comments. It's given me a much better idea.

And thats why I've paid for a direct cremation for myself. (£1100) Funerals are an absolute rip off.

@premiumhob

Because not everyone has an estate?

But if the money is there to pay for the funeral now why would it not be there when needed?

Because by the time a funeral is needed the money could have been spent in other ways?! The OP is being sensible in making sure it’s saved now so when the time comes it’s available

OP my dads funeral was 3.5k which was basic cremation and service no care flowers etc (not because I’m horrible but he died unexpectedly before he could sign the papers leaving his body to medical science which was his wishes and I was a young single mum who couldn’t afford any more than that and he had no money or estate)

@AuntieMarys I don’t think it’s fair to say they’re an absolute rip off..... everything has a cost.

Every Funeral Director I know does an amazing job. For instance if you lost a loved one and wanted to visit them every single day inbetween their death and funeral a FD will facilitate this with no extra charge.
Please remember they carefully embalm (some do), clean, dress and make up the deceased.
Then obviously store them in the correct manner.
Will guide you through the whole process.

A lot of the external fees are a lot, but those can’t be avoided anyway.

What difficult to understand? I want to put aside enough money to cover the cost of a funeral so I know it won't get spent on other things.

I genuinely don't understand, hence asking. Why would the money be spent on other things?

@premiumhob because the father is still alive and has living costs! Not everyone has so much money or an estate that they could happily shell out 3-5k for a funeral after continuing to pay
Everyday living costs for months / years etc.

You’re just being difficult