Funeral costs

[GreenPlum]

Not sure where to put this. Sorry!
Just wondering what the average cost of a funeral is these days (pre-covid, I suppose). I'd like proper first hand experience rather than random figures quoted online by funeral directors.

Seems wrong to talk about it now, but I'm managing my elderly fathers finances and wanting to know how much to squirrel away into a side account to cover costs. My mums was 12 years ago and Dad dealt with it all so I can't remember.

Thank you.

Yeah, sorry, I actually don't mean to sound difficult, I really just can't see the benefit in moving money. Having money in another account would make no difference to living costs or any assessment done on care home fees. All of the fathers money has to be declared anyway.

My nans funeral last year was almost 5k. That included cremation, car, flowers, a wake etc

@premiumhob

Yeah, sorry, I actually don't mean to sound difficult, I really just can't see the benefit in moving money. Having money in another account would make no difference to living costs or any assessment done on care home fees. All of the fathers money has to be declared anyway.

People save their money for all sorts of reasons, holidays, cars etc. This is no different.

It makes complete sense to set some money aside to ensure it's there when needed.

The OP didn't mention care home fees at all.

OP - my dad's very basic funeral was just under £4k. The only 'extra' we had was a wicker coffin.

Things that cost more include the time slot. There are set slots that are 'free' in the package but others you pay more for. We didn't care what time it was as it was during lockdown and only my mum and I were going and could do any time. We had no flowers, no cars etc (only the hearse, you have to have that). Music choice is free and having a picture projected is free (we had the Labour Party rose).

We got the ashes back in a cardboard box. But that's not an issue if you're having a burial.

I think in your case, I'd aim for £6k, given churches and burials cost a lot more generally and you want cars and a wake.

@premiumhob

What difficult to understand? I want to put aside enough money to cover the cost of a funeral so I know it won't get spent on other things.

I genuinely don't understand, hence asking. Why would the money be spent on other things?

Because it might be 10 years before he actually dies and he might spend it on something else.

Have you ever heard of savings accounts where people can keep money in two different places?

They're great. You might be saving up for a car or a house or a holiday or a box of tissues. You might have the some of the money or all of the money but you don't want to buy it just yet. You can move/transfer/set aside/squirrel away the money you'll need to this new savings account. You don't have to keep this allocated money sitting in your current account where you might be tempted to spend it on a fancy meal in a restaurant or a new coat or a laptop.

Problem is, you might not know how much is enough. How much will the new car cost?

That's why I'm asking. I just wanted a rough idea of how much a bells and whistles funeral cost in 2019 so I can make sure there's enough when the time comes.

Do we need £2,000 or £5000 or £7,000?

Thank you.

Re church fees (not Catholic but Church of England), the fees are set by the Church of England annually so you can Google them. On top would be: organist, verger, travel expenses (between church and crem) not all churches charge but worth noting. Clergy don't (generally, there are some niche exceptions) get paid extra, it's part of their job.

Because it might be 10 years before he actually dies and he might spend it on something else.

Oh, I misunderstood you then. Sorry. I though when you said you were managing his finances that meant in the legal sense.

Have you ever heard of savings accounts where people can keep money in two different places?

Yes, of course I have. Like I said I misunderstood. I thought only you had access, in which case it would make no odds.

@premiumhob

Yeah, sorry, I actually don't mean to sound difficult, I really just can't see the benefit in moving money. Having money in another account would make no difference to living costs or any assessment done on care home fees. All of the fathers money has to be declared anyway.

Ah, I see now. You think I'm moving money out of his main account to hide it. You think I'm not going to declare his savings in order to defraud the public purse and get the state to pay for his care rather than fund it himself.

I gave up work five years ago in order to care for my dad myself. It's a bloody difficult job but I do it gladly.

Cash flow needs to be managed carefully. I have no intention of hiding assets which would be impossible. And immoral. And illegal.

If he'd just died I wouldn't be asking you lot, I'd be asking the funeral director. I wouldn't be squirreling away money. I'd be writing the damn cheques.

@GreenPlum can't you just ask your dad to take out funeral cover so that it is covered and you are not responsible for it?

If your dad can afford one, it's worth purchasing a funeral plan now if possible. Funerals increase by quite a lot each year so if he did survive another decade, what you put aside now might not cover it. A funeral plan will save that worry.

[quote yolopolo]@GreenPlum can't you just ask your dad to take out funeral cover so that it is covered and you are not responsible for it? [/quote]

Thanks. He's 88 so they don't do plans like that. They'll take your money, but there wouldn't be a financial benefit. I'll just use a dedicated savings account.

Ah, I see now. You think I'm moving money out of his main account to hide it. You think I'm not going to declare his savings in order to defraud the public purse and get the state to pay for his care rather than fund it himself.

God no. Not at all. I only mentioned care home because someone else brought living costs into it. I just didn't see what the money needed to be separated for. I certainly was not accusing you of any wrong doing.

@premiumhob

Ah, I see now. You think I'm moving money out of his main account to hide it. You think I'm not going to declare his savings in order to defraud the public purse and get the state to pay for his care rather than fund it himself.

God no. Not at all. I only mentioned care home because someone else brought living costs into it. I just didn't see what the money needed to be separated for. I certainly was not accusing you of any wrong doing.

Good. Thank you.

mum's funeral was in April so no cars, viewings and we only had a "pillow" of flowers on the coffin. She was cremated and we had a non-religious service, total cost £3,270. We cremated Dad on Friday and everything was the same apart from, we were able to have 1 car (for me and my sisters), we were able to see him at the chapel of rest and he was dressed in his Sunday best, (we were not allowed to have mum dressed in her own clothes as she died of covid so the undertakers were not allowed to touch her). Dad's service was almost identical to mums., total cost £4,059.

Gosh, it's been a tough year for you. I'm so sorry. Thank you for your input.

We lost my mum in September - funeral total cost came in at £4,700 plus £72 for the wake - as it was just immediate family we had it at home, just ordered in afternoon tea for us all.

I'd say £5,000 is a good amount to set aside, maybe a bit for assuming you can have a wake.

There was a cost for our C of E vicar, I think it was £125.00

In the past few years I have organised 3 funerals. The average cost was around £4250. They were all simple affairs at a crem with a pub wake after. Hearse only. For both my parents we had wicker coffins (for my brother it was cardboard). Some coffins are so expensive. I did the flowers myself. So there are small savings you can make. Headstones can be bought for a fraction of the price online than from a local stonemason, for example.

OK, thank you so much for all your useful comments. It's given me a good idea of what will be needed.

I'm sorry you've all had to go through losing parents. It's one of the cruelest aspects of this pandemic, isn't it? I'm sorry for those having to go through it this year in particular.

My parents and my father in law paid for their funerals in advance. Can you do the same for him? I can't remember who my parents were with but my father in law was with Dignity funerals.

When he does pass you just have to phone the number on the plan and they ask which funeral director you want to use.

OP , well done for thinking ahead , it does make a difficult time a bit easier if you are prepared and organised for the practical arrangements that are required and need to be paid for .
About 6k will cover the regular funeral you describe. We are Catholic too . The priests don’t charge per se but there is an expected “ donation “.
We intend on giving £200 to our priest tomorrow. ( Obviously due to covid , the parent being buried tomorrow will have a scaled down event - circa £3.5 k)

All that said, I hope you don’t need to use this information for a long time yet .
I wish the best of health to your family in these strange times.

My mums funeral came to £5,500, but she was very specific in what she wanted and had set money aside as she knew it was coming over a year or so.

She had a non religious ceremony at a natural burial ground/crematorium. She had a beautiful wicker casket woven through with hundreds of flowers and specified that we were to spare no expense with the wake.

She was very keen on the celebrate the life, not mourn the death aspect.

You can pay for a funeral plan now for your father at todays rates - my MIL did it not long before she died just short of her 90th birthday. DH and i have also paid upfront for a direct cremation. For some reasons I dont understand funerals are set to go up in price a lot over the next few years - read a few articles about it sometime ago - and what might cost you £4,000 today could be £12,000 in 10 years time.

£5000 seems a fair budget. Do remember to keep a sensible head on when they show you the options though - go for a environmentally low impact coffin please! Not sure about Catholic Church costs, should be on the website (c of e fees are set annually)

Thank you. It seems pre-paying would be a better idea than putting it into a savings account. I'll look into doing that. Thanks.

My friend's mum had a wicker coffin with flowers entwined around it. It was the most beautiful coffin I've seen.