"We're all on the spectrum"

[bluetinpinkteapot]

No we're not! We're really, really not.

Please people who don't have autism or don't know anything about autism, please do not say this to people who do have autism or their carers/families.

It is wrong, it is offensive, it does a huge disservice to autistic people.

If you truly think this, do some reading. Or don't if you don't care - but stop saying it!

From one exhausted mother who has just had to have this conversation yet again with I'm someone who I thought was a good friend.

Fully agree with you.

Lots of people may show signs of an autistic trait but that doesn’t mean they are “on the spectrum”

As a parent with child with autism omg ur so right i hate this phase so much i know most people struggle with what to say, id rather they didnt say anything, when someone says this i do correct them🤦🏼‍♀️

I also hate the holland poem usually someone tries to show me that

I hate this.
My Dd is autistic and it bugs the living shit out of me.
I had social workers and teachers say it to me ffs.

Agreed its a widespread misunderstanding. You can be either on or off the spectrum and if on it, then it's a spectrum.

Everything's on a bloody spectrum these days.

Agree xx

Agreed.

100%

Oh no, we are definitely not.

This was actually said to us yesterday by the local authority caseworker dealing with Ds's needs assessment.

to you. Just because you like to line up your pens on your desk doesn't mean you are a bit on the spectrum. It doesn't make you 'a little bit OCD' either.

My own mum has said it to me a few times 😑
(My son has autism). I’ve had to tell her to stop saying it.

You also can't get a 'touch of autism ffs.

Absolutely agree with you. It's been said to me by a number of people since my DD was being assessed and diagnosed over 3 years back. It's infuriating. There's a world of difference between having an "autistic trait" and being on the autistic spectrum.

It's hard enough that no one lets you acknowledge anything negative about it.

Not on the spectrum but have family members who are and 100% agree.

Every time someone says to me "we are all on the spectrum" I say "well I'm not, not in the slightest." It's not a clever reply but it just encourage them to shut the fuck up.

Agree. Lots of family and friends said this to me whilst we were waiting DS's assessment - think they thought it would make me feel "better" about it/less worried.

Most annoying is saying things like "mild" autism - like he's some kind of cheese. And the classic - which my own Mother said to me - that "he doesn't look autistic."

I think the problem stems from the outdated idea that the autistic spectrum is linnear. The further along you are, the more autistic you are. The screening tools don't help as they do portray it in that way. Score 30 and you're flagged as likely autistic, score 25 and you' re showing autistic traits, kind of thing.

Or borderline Autistic. Puts me in mind of someone trying not to step over a line incase they become Autistic 🙄

Yes it is very annoying.
Especially when a perfectly functioning person uses it to excuse certain behaviour "I do that I think I must be autistic" quirky traits don't equate to autism.

100% agree

"It's hard enough that no one lets you acknowledge anything negative about it."

@MustBeThursday - this is so true. I remember when my straight- talking SIL said: "you must find it so hard and so sad" and I loved her for it because everyone else told me I "must be a special Mum to have such a special child".

Not special no. An ordinary, not sure if I can last the day woman, who was up most of the night with a 4 year old who wanted to eat fish fingers and now I have to go to work and pretend I'm capable of staying awake. That sort of Mum.

I love the cheese analogy @TheHouseElf that has made me laugh!

Worse I think is 'every feels/gets like that' when you've just explained one of your difficulties. No, they really don't. For example, I say I'm not coping as my routine has been messed up. "Every feels out of.Sorts when their routine is messed with". Well yes they might, but I doubt it causes a meltdown, or a shutdown, or hurting yourself, or suicidal thoughts just to make the stress go away.