Most bonkers complaint/dispute you’ve had at work?

[ChooseYourLameName]

Someone rang me today to complain I’d sent them a letter in an envelope I’d licked!

I don’t have any envelopes to lick. They all have a sticky bit you expose by removing the seal.

I couldn’t quite believe it. When I said it really wasn’t licked, he said ‘‘I can smell mouthwash you know!’’ Only satisfied when I said although I really didn’t lick it, I would post any future letters with tape to avoid misunderstanding. The strangest professional call I’ve had to ever take, bloody hell.

What’s your most bonkers dispute?

I once had a colleague complain that my bap was too close to her drink in the fridge and she was vegetarian. I quickly agreed to move it to another shelf but she still didn’t seem pleased it was still close by!

Anymore? This thread can't be over

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam

Working on the call centre in an appointments department for a hospital. I answer the phone to a very Scottish bloke, who wanted me to change his appointment from one specialty to a different one. I apologised and said I couldn’t do that-the consultants sign off on the referrals and they dictate who needs to be seen by whom, however I could send his request up to the secretary of the consultant for her to see what action could be taken. He ranted for a while, swore at me lots and in the end I had to tell him I was terminating the call due to his abusive language. PALS get a complaint 3 days later saying I wouldn’t change his appointment because he was black. This guy had a very Scottish accent and was called something along the lines of Robert Smith. How he thought I would know the colour of his skin based on the little information I had in front of me I don’t know. (Our hospital patient administration system does not note the ethnicity of the patient).

That reminds me of the time I worked as a medical secretary. I also sent out all the appointments for my consultant's outpatient clinics. One woman rang me as her regular 3 monthly appointment was overdue and she hadn't had a letter from me. Turned out she'd moved house and not bothered telling us. I then asked her for her new address, to which she started screaming that it was none of my business and I was just being a nosey cow and she'd be reporting me for asking for personal information!

I regularly get calls overnight on my hospital switchboard asking for medical secretaries. I used to just connect the calls thinking the caller wanted to leave a voicemail for the morning. I have since learned to tell the caller I am connecting to a voicemail as the secretary isn't in. I regularly get shouted at that it's not good enough and it shows what is wrong with the NHS and there is no 24 hour NHS anymore. People (to be honest, generally pensioners) honestly believe there is a use for medical secretaries to be in the hospital at 02.30 awaiting calls!

When I worked in a children's centre a mum called to book a postnatal appointment with the midwife. As there was no answer, she left a long rambling message on the answerphone about how rude she thought the pre recorded message was. It was the default message that came with the machine!
As far as I recall it was an American man's voice that said something along the lines of "We are not able to take your call at present, leave a message after the tone".

I was told by a colleague that our HR advisor was pregnant. I congratulated said HR advisor when I saw her.

She complained to my manager for breach of confidentiality...

Not sure why the person who told me didn't have an issue but someone I was in the wrong!

I can go on and on about the shitty things I experienced there. It's a very well known Christian church and charity and I can't stand how much praise it gets in the press when it's so so problematic as an organisation.

Working part time doing weekend reception cover at an office when I was about 19. Basically there to sign for deliveries, answer the phone and take messages and any emails that came through to the general adress - forward them on to the correct dept ready for Monday morning. There was a rolling list of jobs that was always left on the desk, things like "order toner", "update mailing list for July customers" etc. That the various reception staff could do if they were free and cross off when they were done. My manager called me in for a meeting and pulled me up for not completing certain jobs, was fairly rude about it saying that I came across as lazy, I pointed out to her that given I was working on a Sunday I did not have the ability to order toner for the printer from the company they used that was shut on a Sunday and you had to order over the phone, or to go and get quotes for a professional carpet cleaning for the same reason. This blew her mind!!

As a Nurse, a patient complained formally to my manager that she was sat in the waiting room for 6 hours and no one had seen her so she self discharged. My manager had to politely point out to her that this seemed unlikely given that over the course of my shift I had taken bloods twice, done an ECG, sent her for two different scans, and she had been seen by two different medical teams, and then been discharged. It was just such a bizarrely blatant lie of a comaplaint that none of us could work out why she had gone to the trouble of making it.

I used to be a flight attendant. We had two official Barbie Mascots in full character in seats 1A & B. Halfway through the flight I went to check on the pilots who were making fun of the Barbies and I said that was very disrespectful, as if anything happened to them, or any medical event occurred, or even if we were sucked into outer space, etc... Barbie could cover it... Then later I had to go back and apologize as one had asked me to pop downstairs and check on her dog. Hmmmm.... wonder if she thought I would abseil out the window?

Working for a large national organisation. Not customer facing, and rarely get ‘outside’ calls. Had a call from a woman on my direct line whose opening line was ‘about time’. She berated me for 10 minutes ‘how long does it take you to get to someone’s house’ ‘what kind of service do you call this?’. Told her I think you must have the wrong number - she accused me of lying ‘don’t try that with me’.

I was very patient and kind, trying to work out how she had ended up dialling my direct line, as she was getting more distressed. Worked out she had Mis-dialled.

Explained this to her - more than once. She demanded I give her the number she wanted. I told her I couldn’t, I had never heard of the company she wanted, it had nothing to do with me and was in no way connected to me or my organisation. I said I had to end the call - she told me ‘don’t you dare’ and i would regret it and continued to call me several more times (I didn’t answer).

Working on a lottery terminal when at college - a lady give me her tickets, to put through the machine. Then had no way to pay. Demanded I give her the lottery tickets anyway, I told her they had to be paid for or I would have to void them. I said I would put them to one side whilst she went for the money. She went ballistic, called me every name under the sun, accused me of being a thief. She actually thought I was trying to ‘steal’ her winning numbers, and she didn’t trust me to put them behind the counter whilst she went for money. But I should trust her to take them, unpaid, and return with the cash. She actually told me I had to give them to her as her son owned the local pub, didn’t I know, so she was of local standing and could be trusted more than me. She was so awful and ridiculous, I couldn’t see any funny side at the time. I ended up voiding them and ripping them up. She stood there for another half hour telling anyone who came to be served I was a thief. It was crazy.

A friend of mine sells scarves online. She shared a complaint (and negative review) left by a customer.

The lady had ordered a scarf printed with little pictures of a particular breed of dog. She was most upset that when she put the scarf round her neck, half of the dogs were upside down.

I worked in a newly opened store on a retail park. In the car park there was a large bright origin sign advertising the new store. Customer comes in and demands to see the manager. Then he complains that he has drove into a barrier because the sign was too distracting and we should take it down. Bat shit. But so funny.

*orange not origin