Most bonkers complaint/dispute you’ve had at work?

[ChooseYourLameName]

Someone rang me today to complain I’d sent them a letter in an envelope I’d licked!

I don’t have any envelopes to lick. They all have a sticky bit you expose by removing the seal.

I couldn’t quite believe it. When I said it really wasn’t licked, he said ‘‘I can smell mouthwash you know!’’ Only satisfied when I said although I really didn’t lick it, I would post any future letters with tape to avoid misunderstanding. The strangest professional call I’ve had to ever take, bloody hell.

What’s your most bonkers dispute?

I once had a colleague complain that my bap was too close to her drink in the fridge and she was vegetarian. I quickly agreed to move it to another shelf but she still didn’t seem pleased it was still close by!

I worked in a local pub restaurant in our tiny village from age 11 so I saw a lot of crazy customers growing up (yeah yeah, I know, but 11yo's can wash dishes just fine and later on, no one minded being waited on by a 14yo).

A regular came to me once with a napkin with complaints written on. Things like cold food, hair in chilli or bug on plate. I was confused until he explained the table of 6 waiting beside him to be seated were discussing what to complain about to get free meals. He had actually taken notes, laughing at their cheek.

I immediately went and told my "gives no fucks" boss. If customers complained about something he didn't agree with he'd say "well fuck off then and eat somewhere else!". He was just as rude and nasty to staff too. Staff turnover was massive!

He told me to ask the table if everything was okay at least 4 times. When I put the food down, after a few mouthfuls mid meal offering more drinks and after they were done. It was "Fine", "Lovely, thank you" and "Delicious" etc.

Just after desserts and they were getting ready for the bill, the complaints start rolling in. I excused myself and boss took over. He listed and then slapped the napkin down and told them that he knew full well the bullshit they were trying to pull, he had their car registrations and he would be calling the police if they refused to pay for the meals that they ate in full. They tried to kick off but he simply picked up the phone and went to dial the police. When they had paid up he told them to "Dont fucking come back!"

I had a customer ring the other day and complain an item we had sold him in April 2018 had broken and demanded to know what we were going to do about it. This was a second hand car part from a car that was already 18 years old when he bought it. My reply of “ummm nothing” didnt go down so well

Another batshit customer which is yours truly. I went to get money out of the Santander cash point only for it reject my card several times. I went up to the help desk and complained; the member of staff calmly pointed out I was in a HSBC branch and Santander was the building opposite. I blame the fact they both have red logos outsider their branches

@AndromedaPerseus snap, except mine was trying to pay money in at Halifax instead of Nationwide. Stupid, same colour signs

Today my inexperienced colleague (part time, new to the job and infrequent shift cover only) got shouted at repeatedly by a man who was unable to work the air machine for his tyres.

The instructions are very, very clear. Yes, if you don’t actually push the connection on to your tyre it will open the valve and let more air out. Yes, that is the hissing noise and whooshing you feel around your hand. Yes, we are happy to help you if you have a problem, just give us a minute to get another member of staff over as strangely we can’t just abandon the shop and a queue of customers because you don’t want to listen to a woman advising you how to use the machine correctly.

You might be frustrated, but reducing a woman to tears over a one minute wait and 50p?

i hadn't driven or a while, and i too was stumped by a kind of electronic tyre inflater. i put the money in, read instructions but couldn't work out how to actually get it to work. i asked for help from staff in shop, who just waved me away. so i gave up.
i was used to jamming it onto the valve and pressing a trigger down until it got up to 20lbs per square inch in the window.

I feel sorry for the families of these people having to put up with their batshittery and rudeness.

PrincessForADay

My parents ran a business from home, my mum took most of the phone calls. Occasionally shew would get someone who wanted to speak to a manager, usually followed by the word 'love'.

My mum's stock answer was "I'm sorry there isn't a manager available, would you like to speak to a director?" She'd then wait for them to say yes and just wait for the penny to drop.

I received an email from a client asking for something to be emailed to them. They asked for this related to several cases we are dealing with. I am new and was covering for this client due to annual leave. My manager advised me what to do and I did it.

A week or two later I received an email from my manager which was the manager of that company saying our person asked for something they shouldn't have. However, you need to speak to this person as she had the audacity to provide it. It had gone to my director, a finance manager and my manager.

I was spoken to and apologised but then I remembered that I followed the managers instructions and stated that I only responded as I was instructed. I was told "it's a learning curve. As time comes you'll know what to do for certain clients". It has really raised concerns about the company to me as surely her response should be like "I gave you incorrect guidance on this. See this email, just remember it for next time".

My friend's holiday cottage: the sound of the owls at night was distrubing the guests.

One of my old jobs: that we didn't offer payment by standing order (err we did); she didn't trust direct debit and she was always forgetting to make her monthly payments and this was somehow our fault. She also objected to us addressing her as 'Ms' (standard when we didn't know someone's marital status back then) as she was not a damned lesbian, she was perfectly normal!!!

Valentines on a Saturday one year meant all restaurants in Glasgow were booked solid. There was even a radio campaign that if you had a table in your restaurant to let the station know and they’d get it filled for you.

My friend who is white british was married to a Chinese man who’s family owned a great restaurant. This night she was helping die to how mobbed it was and a guy came in trying to look impressive with his date. She advised him his table was just being set up so if they wanted to sit in the bar with a drink they would be called through. He started throwing his weight around, ‘my table is hooked for 7! It should be ready at 7!’ She apologised and explained they were extremely busy. He demanded the manager, she said ‘yes that me!’ He then said she couldn’t be the manager as she was white and made a racial slur about Chinese people. She clamped right down and told him to leave. Bear in mind everywhere was booked solid. He just sort of looked deflated and apology as he was obviously trying to look like a big man in front of his date. He was ejected with his female friend bleating about being sorry etc. She would not accept racism as her husband was chinese, her children were half Chinese...he wrote a letter of complaint!

I used to work in a little coffee shop. On this particular day a customer came in, found a table, then came to the counter to order. He went back to his table while I made his cappuccino. I took it over to him, put it down the far side of the table as he had his newspaper open and went back to the counter. A few minutes later he came to me and asked for a cloth as he had spilled his coffee. I went over with the cloth, cleaned it up and made him a fresh drink. A few days later he came back in and told the manager I had spilled his coffee over him a few days previously and wanted the cost of his trousers as they were stained. My manager was gobsmacked as she had been there when he spilled his drink! When this was told to him he accused us all of being 2 bit waitresses who weren't fit to work at McDonald's. It didn't stop him coming in every week for his coffee and cheese scone though. Choked me having to be polite to the dickhead

@alexdgr8

i hadn't driven or a while, and i too was stumped by a kind of electronic tyre inflater. i put the money in, read instructions but couldn't work out how to actually get it to work. i asked for help from staff in shop, who just waved me away. so i gave up. i was used to jamming it onto the valve and pressing a trigger down until it got up to 20lbs per square inch in the window.

See we would always help, it might just take a minute or two sometimes as we’re short staffed. I bet you weren’t rude and aggressive about it either!

The first time I used it I had to ask a customer for help 😂 That’s when I printed off the instructions and stuck them to the machine

a lady came to try some things on and handed me her fur coat....i dropped it as i hate the feel of real fur

How was she supposed to know that?

I worked as admin in a college with a very successful football team. The coach once asked me to request more wheelie bins from the council so that he could use them as ice baths for the football team.

I did nothing. Waited a few days and then just told him that the council said no. Some nonsense is not worth arguing with.

its sad to hear about people wishing their famil y would die quicker so tey can get inheritance-how low can you get

Not me, but my mum..
She had a colleague who absolutely hated her because she was so cheerful and helpful.
Colleague accused my mum of wearing perfume that gave her a heart attack ....
Here's the kicker....Mum didn't wear perfume to the office

re wheelie bins, you can buy them privately or was the coach being "cheap"

a lady came to try some things on and handed me her fur coat....i dropped it as i hate the feel of real fur

It doesn't matter if you don't like the feel or not, that was rude of you.

Received an email from colleagues in another department detailing their concerns about the heating being too high, how much this was impacting on their work, and the environmental impact of having to open windows with the heating on.

I replied to say that I was sorry, but there seemed to have been crossed wires as I had absolutely nothing to do with heating (I worked in a project/admin role not even vaguely related) and suggested contacting our estates team.

They emailed my line manager to clarify whether what I had said was correct

My first job was in a video rental place where you could hire old films no one was really interested in for a pound for a week. One guy brought his video back a day late which meant a £1 fine. He told me he would have brought it back the day before but we were closed. I told him I was at work the day before. He said he’d tried to drop it off at 6pm and the shop was shut. I told him I’d been there until 9pm. He told me if he had to pay a pound then he wanted to keep it for another week since he’d paid the rental amount anyway. I told him I wasn’t allowed to do that.

He was in his fifties and huge and I was a waif like teenager. He started screaming in my face. I told him to leave or I’d call the police. He kept shouting so I picked up the phone and he finally left, only to come back in five minutes later to tell me he would be waiting for me after work.

I stayed so calm throughout. The shop was packed with regulars who were all staring at us throughout but no one stepped in. Afterwards a few people told me they were poised to act if he did anything.

I waited until my break before bursting into tears.

Luckily he was long gone by the time my shift was over and I never saw him again. I’m glad I held it together whilst he was there but it was horrible. It wasn’t the only complaint, but it was the one that shook me up the most.

I've had so many over the years.

Once in retail someone tried to return a dress that was over 4 years old. it still has the tag but was worn and had obvious deodorant marks on it. The manufacturer would put the date on a tag inside so I could tell her it was out of our return window (30 day). The customer was there with her newborn baby in a pram and wanted to return it as "it didn't really fit right".

Once working in a music venue a customer assaulted me and called me a cunt and then when I politely told her to leave wrote multiple TripAdvisor reviews and complaints directly to the company demanding I be fired. I wasn't but I wished management had backed me up in a reply on TripAdvisor. It is still there. That job was the worst though, too many drunk people and it was really quite dangerous for staff at times.

@Zeewest

re wheelie bins, you can buy them privately or was the coach being "cheap"

He was being cheap, but I couldn't see us using wheelie bins as ice baths for teenagers to climb in and out of.

Working on the call centre in an appointments department for a hospital. I answer the phone to a very Scottish bloke, who wanted me to change his appointment from one specialty to a different one. I apologised and said I couldn’t do that-the consultants sign off on the referrals and they dictate who needs to be seen by whom, however I could send his request up to the secretary of the consultant for her to see what action could be taken. He ranted for a while, swore at me lots and in the end I had to tell him I was terminating the call due to his abusive language.
PALS get a complaint 3 days later saying I wouldn’t change his appointment because he was black.
This guy had a very Scottish accent and was called something along the lines of Robert Smith. How he thought I would know the colour of his skin based on the little information I had in front of me I don’t know. (Our hospital patient administration system does not note the ethnicity of the patient).

I worked in a small call centre, cue a woman wanting to complain about one of the engineers...
He had asked to use her toilet. She had agreed. He had 'left a smell'... ffs.
She wanted him disciplined!
I did have to speak to him about it, poor bloke said there was no spray and he HAD opened the window. He hadn't left any 'mess' (the woman herself said that)

I went to a coffee shop with my granddaughter. I ordered a piece of chocolate cake along with a toastie and drinks. The cake was dry, not pleasant. I approached the waitress quietly and said could I please have something different as the cake was dry. The next minute the owner came storming out of the kitchen shouting at me, accusing me of not wanting to pay for any of the food! I had said nothing of the sort! She said there was nothing wrong with the cake and again accused me of not wanting to pay and demanded I leave, without paying 🤣🤣
Poor granddaughter hadn't finished eating and was upset by this batshittery 😔.
I had to take her somewhere else to get lunch.