Most bonkers complaint/dispute you’ve had at work?

[ChooseYourLameName]

Someone rang me today to complain I’d sent them a letter in an envelope I’d licked!

I don’t have any envelopes to lick. They all have a sticky bit you expose by removing the seal.

I couldn’t quite believe it. When I said it really wasn’t licked, he said ‘‘I can smell mouthwash you know!’’ Only satisfied when I said although I really didn’t lick it, I would post any future letters with tape to avoid misunderstanding. The strangest professional call I’ve had to ever take, bloody hell.

What’s your most bonkers dispute?

I once had a colleague complain that my bap was too close to her drink in the fridge and she was vegetarian. I quickly agreed to move it to another shelf but she still didn’t seem pleased it was still close by!

I worked in cardiology. NHS and then a private hospital.

Complaints included, "any fool can see you've booked my appointment the day after my birthday".

At the private hospital, "what you don't have patient parking, but we are private, that's what we pay for"

"How dare they put a German in the room with me? I have to be moved"

Local NHS hospital was having some refurbishment so we were taking NHS patients for cardiac caths and pacemaker implants, one refused his pacemaker because he didn't believe in private medicine, I have to say I admired him sticking to his principles but the pacemaker was the same brand used at the local hospital and was being implanted by an NHS Dr and he NEEDED it.

As a teacher I had a student complain I'd failed her work because I am apparently racist.

The work was entirely plagiarised.
I printed off the pages she had copied.
I had not met the student, I was marking work submitted to someone had left.

Now I know some names give clues to ethnicity but her name was something like Carol Smith.

lola they were just a bunch of young graduate interns trying to amuse each other. Why so sneery?

I was once involved in running sessions in a school where parents could call in to speak to the Governors every few weeks. Most people just came in for a cuppa and to chat about school events etc or to ask minor questions about school procedures etc. But 2 (unrelated) Dads came almost every time with lists of things they wanted the Governors to 'sort out' (despite being told every time that this was not possible). They included:

• Complaints about the (legally required) statements on the school website about what they do to support disadvantaged children. This was apparently advertising for 'difficult' children to join the school to the detriment of the 'nice' children.
• Request that we ban anti-bullying day as bullying is just part of life and any child who is a bit 'odd' needs to learn how to cope whilst they are young.
• Request that we ban all teachers from owning smart phones because they can be recording conversations and images all the time so even if not switched on in the class room could be sending images of school books and discussions in the staff room to the internet.

-Complaint about teachers with children in the school taking them inside the building with them when they arrive at work early. Apparently if one child is allowed in at 7.30am they all should be.

• Suggestion that children from different socio economic backgrounds should be kept in separate classes. Apparently his DD had made friends with a 'poor child' and was distressed to hear that sometimes this child's family could not afford holidays/meals out etc and even (shock horror) bought clothes in charity shops. The school were clearly failing in their duty of care by not protecting his DD from this information.

I know it was miles back in this thread but the Mum who blasted the teacher for the pen mark on the young mans exercise book cover gave me the chills... the student had blamed the teacher and the rocket mum sent over was an eyebrow raiser... made me wonder if mum was prepared to do that to another unrelated adult what worse would she have dished out to the young man in question if she'd thought he had done it.

I worked in lettings in my early 20s and despite the hate landlords get on here I came across infinitely more bad tenants than I did bad landlords. I’ve got a few that would put me as I tell them to everyone but some others.

Tenant let children draw all over a sofa. Furious the landlord deducted money from their deposit for this, apparently they shouldn’t have let the house to a family if they didn’t want that to happen.

Woman moved into a flat on a 6 lane road, she viewed it FIVE TIMES before taking it. First night she was there complained about road noise.

Genuinely had someone complain the place was filthy a month after they moved in, turned out they’d always lived in serviced apartments and didn’t realise they had to clean it themselves.

Had someone leave a suitcase in the street outside her house and complained it got nicked.

Whilst working in a restaurant a lady was unhappy with her meal. So unhappy in fact that not only was she not going to pay for, she wanted us to pay HER for ruining her lunchtime.

ODFOD.

@Butterer

Used to work for a care agency and had an enhanced role including training, assessing and supporting other carers with medication queries amongst other things.

The company decided to change their annual bonus scheme to a twice yearly one based on performance and reliability. There were 3 things carers had to comply with to achieve the bonus for that month and, if the did so every month, at the end of 6 months they’d get £1,000 bonus!! Now the 3 things were basic parts of the job not anything out of the ordinary - hand previous week’s timesheets in by 5pm on a Monday; not hand work back with less than 48 hours notice unless due to sickness/parental leave/unexpected occurrences (basically to stop people getting their schedule on a Friday and refusing to work the calls on a Monday leaving the weekend on call manager to try and cover their work); and completing client medication chart accurately throughout the month.

Anyway, I once got accused of bullying in the workplace because one carer didn’t get her bonus every month because she was sloppy and never completed her medication charts properly (basically sign with initials when giving medication or use the appropriate code for why it isn’t given/done by someone else etc) I was called in to the investigatory meeting and was able to show how much time I spent, every month, with said carer going over medication charts, fielding calls from other carers who noticed she hadn’t signed at xx client’s house and reminding her to do it before the end of the month or she would risk losing her bonus allocation that month 🤦‍♀️ And additional training to try to get to the bottom of the constant errors. All came down to sloppy practice, a couldn’t care less attitude about policy & practice routines and, above all, an attitude that she was an asset to the company and so shouldn’t be held to account like the other carers!! Manager backed me fully against the allegation and threw out the complaint. So the same carer put in another complaint and claimed I was harassing her by compiling my ‘evidence’ against her - when said evidence was complied from my work phone, emails and activity logs I had to keep to be able to claim my management hours payments!!

Funnily enough it wasn’t a day of mourning when the carer left the company to go somewhere else - and her application to return the following year was rejected as she wasn’t a team player and either refused to work with other carers or put complaints in against them without substance with more than 2 dozen complaints dismissed in little over 2 years working for the agency!!

@Bestbigsister

I worked for a company that sold medical equipment to hospitals - blood analysers and lab stuff. We had a complaint that a very expensive and brand new machine wasn’t working properly so an engineer was dispatched to go and have a look. He rang me to warn me that the customer was probably going to make a complaint about him, because he’d lost his temper. I was really surprised, this was a mild mannered and experienced member of staff. And it turns out that the doctor on duty that night hadn’t been trained how to use the machine but decided that didn’t matter and he would have a go anyway. It was a blood analyser, but instead of blood he ran a urine sample through it. The machine basically blew up. Then the div of a doctor, who shouldn’t even have been touching it, refused to grasp that a blood analyser wouldn’t give results on urine. Didnt matter how many times the engineer explained he wouldn’t have it. And eventually he lost his shit and shouted it’s a blood analyser. It’s for blood. You have to put the right stuff in it. If you piss in a toaster instead of putting bread in, that will blow up too. Surprisingly no complaint followed this learning experience!

Genuinely made me lol

Best thread ive read in a long while. Definitely one @mnhq should consider for classics

God this has been a thoroughly cathartic read and I'm not going to disclose how many hours I've just lost and I now feel thoroughly relaxed

The customers that baffle me are the ones that won't leave a store when an evacuation alert is blaring so loudly your eardrums are bleeding.

Listen love, I don't care if you haven't finished shopping or how it'll ruin your afternoons plans. I don't actually want to become trapped in a store and I can't leave until all areas have been cleared, can you hear the nice recording stating that we have an emergency and we need to evacuate immediately? And no I don't care if you'll only be 5 minutes or you need to purchase an umbrella because that's what you've come in for and it might rain. Fuck off.

Bizarrely this thread made me miss working in retail - I used to like dealing with nutters. I really loved the challenge of getting them onside and soothing them, in my store if anyone came in fuming they used to hand them to me cos I loved it so much. Must have been mad.

When I worked as a TA in a primary school a teacher complained to the Head that I had questioned her professional ability. In actual fact, I had quietly, and politely informed her in private that actually cavemen didn't exist at the same time as dinosaurs, which is what she had just taught her Yr 4 class

The Head asked me to not comment on any future erroneous gaps in the teacher's general knowledge, as I 'was only the TA' (I actually got a First in English Literature and studied at post grad level, but hey ho).

Working as a TA at a secondary, I tentatively mentioned to the English teacher (again very politely and in private) that actually there had been three Brontë sisters who published novels. The teacher refused to acknowledge the existence of AnneBrontë
as 'she had never heard of her' The teacher complained about my 'argumentative attitude' to the HofD. Fortunately the HofD came and apologised on behalf of the teacher, but the teacher refused to have me work in her classroom again.

@BoulangerieBabs I was that customer once - I'd stopped at a service station to take a work meeting in Starbucks when the fire alarm went off. I was sitting round a corner and had noise-cancelling headphones in so had no idea this was happening until a member of staff came to tell me to leave There was a genuine fire too.

I've also tried to return TU clothing to Tesco. I didn't kick off or anything like that, just apologised and scuttled off, but the woman at customer services acted like I was deliberately taking the Mick.

Not strictly a complaint made to me but my psychopathic boss got fired a couple of weeks before I was due to come back from mat leave (that phone call from HR was the start of a very happy day). For some reason she thought that the company car was now hers to keep forever, ignored all communications asking for it back and when a tow truck turned up to haul it off her driveway, chased it down the road screaming that they were stealing her car. She was a nutjob in so many ways but this didn't directly affect me so it's my favourite.

@VWGolfmk2

I have a business in the health sector and have a million examples of general bat shittedness. will try not to be outing.

An employee was accused of taking drugs so I duly investigated and found no evidence of this, however they were dismissed for a different reason shortly after.

The employee's drug dealer then emailed me to complain that I'd sacked them as they owed him money and now they couldn't pay, then continued to harrass me by phone and email. I had to get the police involved. He then submitted a complaint to our regulatory governing body for investigation about my conduct. The guy ended up being arrested and sectioned as a result of all this.

I have also depressingly had various complaints over the years from families that their vulnerable relative is getting cared for too well and we are keeping them alive when they want them to die quickly so they can get their inheritance. I wish I was joking.

One even called a social work review to discuss the fact that their relative hadn't died yet despite asking us to make this happen and stated that it was ridiculous all this money was spent keeping 'these people' alive. It was pointed out to him that it wasn't costing him a penny as was a funded placement, but then that led to a rant about what a waste of money it is keeping the elderly and disabled alive and in comfort when he's been waiting years for a new kitchen in his council house.

Wow that's desperately sad that people are so desperate for an inheritance. I really hope every time that happens the don't get a penny!

YY BoulangerieBabs I once had a customer ask me how long we would be outside after evacuating the store. This was while I was helping a regular customer, who was blind, towards the door while making sure she knew her DC were safely right next to her.

And she was actually teaching this stuff to children? Oh dear. I don't know how old she was, but I tend to find that younger teachers who went straight to teacher training college often don't have great general knowledge. Disclaimer: this might be me being sniffy about most professionals seeming to look around my daughter's age nowadays though...

I don't remember any mad complaints as such, but when I worked in a bookshop, we had a lady in who wanted to buy book tokens "that you can use in any shop, not necessarily on books". I sympathised with her that we didn't sell these magical items (while privately rolling my eyes), but my boss was actually rude enough to inform her that she could get some at the bank machine, as they were called "cash" .

I took too long typing that- it was in reply to peaceanddove.

Not strictly a complaint made to me but my psychopathic boss got fired a couple of weeks before I was due to come back from mat leave (that phone call from HR was the start of a very happy day). For some reason she thought that the company car was now hers to keep forever, ignored all communications asking for it back and when a tow truck turned up to haul it off her driveway, chased it down the road screaming that they were stealing her car. She was a nutjob in so many ways but this didn't directly affect me so it's my favourite.

What an image- I love it .

I have another to add to the pile of admissions of being the customer in the wrong. I once got back to my hotel after a night out with colleagues and my key card didn’t work, so I went to reception to complain and get a new card.

The receptionist politely informed me that I was in the wrong hotel - mine was next door. I’d managed to walk all through the hotel, got the lift to the twentieth floor (or whatever it was) and repeatedly rammed my key card into the door trying to get in, before trundling all the way back down and bothering reception without twigging once that I was in completely the wrong place. I’d had a drink but wasn’t blind drunk, but even so... 🤦🏻‍♀️

In my defence, I travelled a lot and business hotels do tend to all look and feel the same. Sometimes I’d wake up jetlagged and confused and have to look out of the window to remind myself which country I was in!

I miss those days, a bit.

Stood behind someone in the queue for customer services. They were carrying a covered roasting tin and I sort of assumed that there was a problem with the tin until they slammed it down on the desk and asked for a refund because

They'd bought a lamb joint rather than a beef one. Yes it was cooked too.

@VenusClapTrap I did the same thing once. I got down to reception and they were about to reset my room card when they informed me that there were actually 3 men staying in that room. Right room, wrong floor That was the same hotel as a few years before, when I'd spent months organising an important conference with people flying in from all over the world, and turned up to check-in to realise that I'd booked a room for everyone except myself It was fully-booked and so was the hotel next door so I had to share a twin room with a woman I'd never met for that first night. She was very kind about it!

'buy proper, professional heeled shoes such as Manolo Blahniks, not horrible cheap, flat ones from Clarks, of all places' I'd have told her I didn't get paid enough to afford Manolos.

@sueelleker

'buy proper, professional heeled shoes such as Manolo Blahniks, not horrible cheap, flat ones from Clarks, of all places' I'd have told her I didn't get paid enough to afford Manolos.

Oh, I did.

Apparently, my being in receipt of £12,287.56 pa, compared to her £76,547 was completely irrelevant.

We've got a patient who has complained to the highest level he can get and wants a face to face apology. He marched into the hospital 2 days after returning from Spain and demanded he was seen. He was told to leave and that he wouldn't be seen as he should be isolating. Kicked off big style.

He was seen after his quarantine period ended and treated and given a follow up appointment in 3 months. This is not good enough apparently.

He had a mild rash.
Dick. (he is a dick, not on his dick)

Not mine, but DH’s- all phone calls related to GCSE and A’Level grade this year. All phone calls made or taken during the school holidays.
Parent1: DS didn’t get the grade predicted as his final result. We’ve been told that this is what is happening now. I want to complain that he’s been discriminated against.
DH: on what grounds do you feel he has been discriminated against.
Parent1: racism, others have hit their predicted grades.
DH No, he didn’t get his predicted grade. Thats because he took his exam in 2019 and got an exam grade, the predicted grade (CAG) only applies to students who would have sat exams in 2020.

Student: I didn’t get the grade I expected. I was expecting an A to get into medicine. You’ve been unfair as I’m a female doing science subjects.
DH: Well as a private candidate, we would need evidence for that. You can come in and sit a moderated assessment in a private room which we’ll mark and give a CAG for, or if you have a tutor we know we can liaise with them.
Student: no, I’ve been studying on my own, I know I’d get an A though. (They didn’t take up the offer of an assessment)

Parent 2: my DD hasn’t got a grade for this subject.
DH that’s because you said you didn’t want her entered for the exam.
Parent 2: but we’ve changed our minds because she wants to do it now that there aren’t any exams. (After results have gone out).