Most bonkers complaint/dispute you’ve had at work?

[ChooseYourLameName]

Someone rang me today to complain I’d sent them a letter in an envelope I’d licked!

I don’t have any envelopes to lick. They all have a sticky bit you expose by removing the seal.

I couldn’t quite believe it. When I said it really wasn’t licked, he said ‘‘I can smell mouthwash you know!’’ Only satisfied when I said although I really didn’t lick it, I would post any future letters with tape to avoid misunderstanding. The strangest professional call I’ve had to ever take, bloody hell.

What’s your most bonkers dispute?

I once had a colleague complain that my bap was too close to her drink in the fridge and she was vegetarian. I quickly agreed to move it to another shelf but she still didn’t seem pleased it was still close by!

@riceuten

“ As a union rep, I got to hear some pretty wild and wacky complaints, but I had to deal with someone who took a grievance out against her manager for not inviting her to her birthday party. That's it. Another staff member wanted me to defend him for distributing BNP leaflets at work.”

Ahahah that’s hilarious!! Gave me a good ole laugh 😂 😅

@BeeDavis

We had a client complain about our ‘hold’ music! It was Happy by Pharell 🤯

That complaint is totally justified!

@MillieVanilla

Oh god, so many crazies. New year's eve, playing music at a pub party. I play here often. (Well I did until bastard covid). So I put a message out in their popular social media page and NYE ticket event page asking if anyone has any requests. Got quite a few, happy days. Due to the location of the pub the net is shoddy to say the least so I can't download something like I can do at other times. Guy comes over, round the strategically placed speakers and round practically into my booth. This immediately puts me on edge due to the expensive equipment I use being within one dropped glass of booze related carnage. He's clearly had a few, and is slurring semi incoherently in my ear. Cannot hear him due to it being loud back behind my booth. So I say, "can't hear you mate ask at the bar". He proceeds to holler in my ear some obscure early 90s (apparently) dance track from a techno club the guy went to in Bracknell which he would now like to hear as he's not heard it in 30 years. I'm 38. I've no clue what this track is. I very definitely wasn't in a techno club in Bracknell in 92. So I say, sorry don't have it. He then gets the right hump, asking what sort of effing DJ am I. Off he goes back to the dance floor and I think I've got off light. Accept he comes back, twice, within 45 minutes, with no clear indication that he realises we've already had this conversation. He's clearly got alcohol related memory loss. He then on the last time when my dp who is my roadie clocks, tells him "she's a shit DJ isn't she, I'm going to complain to the landlord". He then called me an effing c word. Well. If you're going to bitch at someone it's wise to make sure it's not their dp To say he got swiftly moved out the pub by dp and one of the lovely bar staff is an understatement. He's now barred. But jeeze. I'm not iTunes. I can't have every tune going, especially not an obscure techno tune from when I was at primary school at a family friendly new year's party. I've been running an old skool balaeric house night once when I've event managed and had a guy moan that they wouldn't play Status Quo

DH used to be a DJ/promoter, and you would be amazed the number of people who will interrupt a 4hr minimal techno set to request “happy birthday for my mate, it’s her birthday”.

@riceuten

what did you say to the bnp bloke

I worked in a takeaway after school as a teenager and have quite a few from then. I had to deal with so many drunk people just before closing I could be here a while if I went through all of those ones but there are a few memorable non-drunk ones.

One day someone about the same age as I was had left with their chips and came back to ask for a fork, I was serving another customer at the time so I was going to grab the fork once I'd finished taking the rather large order that was being placed. That wasn't good enough for her and she stormed out moaning. She and her friends then stalked me for weeks. I was petrified every time I left the house but I never told anyone about it at the time either. She used to wait for me to finish work and follow me all the way home taunting me the whole time about how she was going to beat me up.

Another day when I was 16 I had been to a friend's funeral that afternoon and really shouldn't have been working that evening but it was a Friday and everyone else was going out so wouldn't cover it. Someone complained that I looked too miserable while standing at the counter (I really did try my best but it had been a tough day.)

The bank power cut one also reminded me of when we had a power cut. It hit the whole area so we had to close as we couldn't see, never mind actually try and cook anything. People were banging on the door expecting us to feed them because they couldn't use their ovens or microwaves that night. The phone rang constantly too but we were expected to stay inside (which didn't help with the people at the door seeing us inside the shop) and explain to everyone why they couldn't order. Very few people actually understood because they thought we would just be using gas to cook with so why couldn't we fry up something quickly for them?

Last one, a couple of years after I started there they'd had serious issues with people paying with cheque and the cheques bouncing so decided to stop accepting cheques. Signs were put in the window and on the walls inside giving a few weeks' notice, and a few months later a large phone order was placed. The customer came inside to collect and wanted to pay via cheque and got incredibly angry when I told him I couldn't accept it. I tried to explain that it wasn't my call and the boss wasn't there at the time but the supermarket just a couple of doors down had an ATM he could withdraw cash at. He didn't want to do that so cancelled the full £60 order (late 90s so a pretty big one when most meals were around £5 each on average) which had already been cooked and was ready for collection. He was a policeman so kept telling us how he knew the law and we couldn't refuse his payment because it was legal etc etc etc. I would have been in major trouble if I'd allowed it and might have even been sacked. All of us got to take a couple of the meals home each though rather than let them go to waste.

My friend owned a bridal shop and a customer tried on and fell in love with a dress. This dress was obviously the sample, so been tried on hundreds of times and wasn’t as white and clean as a new dress would be.
Said bride ordered her dress in her size and when her wedding dress came she complained it was ‘too clean’ and she wanted the dirty sample!! Friend ended up taking the skirt off the dirty sample dress and attaching to brand new dress and bride was then happy as Larry!

I work in housing and have dealt with many crazy complaints, my two favourites are though the person who complained about birds flying over her property and it being ridiculous that I refused to stop them and the person who said that my claim that leaf fall in autumn was inevitable was wrong and she didn’t understand why there would be leaves on the ground!

[quote GabsAlot]@riceuten

what did you say to the bnp bloke[/quote]
I actually rang UNISON and said 'do I have to defend this bloke?' In the end, I advised him to resign, on the premise that he didn't want or need the adverse publicity a sacking might generate. He joined the army shortly afterwards.

Not my work but I was in Homebase years ago and a woman started shouting at another one that she had taken the last roll of Laura Ashley wallpaper and she wanted it.
The security guard came and stood beside me and asked what they were doing. As we were chatting the second woman snatched the roll off the other woman and hit her on the head with it. Then the first one grabbed another roll and the 2 of them started fencing with them, with the occasional bop on the head. Me and the guard were in creases, they were both quite posh women in their 60's whacking each other while one screamed dont you know who I am?!
I never found out who she was but saw her in M&S an hour later berating a shop worker for something.

I used to run a website with photos and info about local restaurants.

A cafe owner emailed to complain about the 'disgusting' photo of the 'very poor standard' cake and that he severely doubted anyone could trust my judgement if I produced such poor photography to promote his business.

I didn't take the phots. The cafes and restaurants had to supply them. He'd sent it to me. His photo of his cake. Bonkers.

I worked for a company that sold medical equipment to hospitals - blood analysers and lab stuff. We had a complaint that a very expensive and brand new machine wasn’t working properly so an engineer was dispatched to go and have a look. He rang me to warn me that the customer was probably going to make a complaint about him, because he’d lost his temper. I was really surprised, this was a mild mannered and experienced member of staff. And it turns out that the doctor on duty that night hadn’t been trained how to use the machine but decided that didn’t matter and he would have a go anyway. It was a blood analyser, but instead of blood he ran a urine sample through it. The machine basically blew up. Then the div of a doctor, who shouldn’t even have been touching it, refused to grasp that a blood analyser wouldn’t give results on urine. Didnt matter how many times the engineer explained he wouldn’t have it. And eventually he lost his shit and shouted it’s a blood analyser. It’s for blood. You have to put the right stuff in it. If you piss in a toaster instead of putting bread in, that will blow up too.
Surprisingly no complaint followed this learning experience!

I didn’t give someone’s child a sticker. He was the only one in the class who didn’t get one apparently.

A few years ago, my work decided to change a very popular loyalty scheme and make it available online only. I had to manage the project.

After it launched, a very elderly woman got a taxi to a completely different building to find me, completely unsolicited and with no warning. The office managed to figure out where she should be and got in touch, they organised her another taxi which she insisted we paid for to bring her one block over.

She proceeded to yell at me for half an hour, told me I was ruining her life and stopping her from seeing her daughter, phoned her daughter so that she could also tell me how much trouble I had caused. I calmed her down, resolved the issue, gave her free products and paid for her taxi home.

The next day she sent in a formal complaint to the CEO because I hadn't organised the taxi that brought her into the city in the first place.

I have so many of these. I used to be a coach driver.

One of the best was the time I was parallel parking my 50 seater on a busy main road in Nice, and one of our passengers stepped into the road to approach me while the vehicle was still moving. I impatiently gestured that she needed to get back onto the pavement. As soon as I completed the manoeuvre I opened the door and she immediately launched into a long account of how her travel plans had changed and she needed to rebook part of her trip.
"I don't think that will be a problem," I said, "The rep should be here any minute and I am sure he will try to get that changed for you."
"Oh," she said, "So are you the driver?"

In one job I had, we had a tyrannical cleaning lady who was quite a character. She once left a post-it note on my desk saying “please do not put grapes on the radiator”. When I asked her about it she said there had been a grape on the radiator behind my desk when she cleaned - as if I put it there on purpose!! If she’d just asked me to take care whilst eating at my desk I would have understood but to leave a note...

I was working an interim position as a grocer's cashier while waiting for a space to open for my training course as a psychiatric technician. A lady came in to buy an item that was advertised as "Half Price." The sign above the actual, physical item read, "50% off." She absolutely went off the deep end because we would not give her 50% off of the half price. It eventually involved yelling, sceaming, the Head Cashier, the store manager, the department manager, punches thrown (by her) and the police department. I wonder if she thought the difference between $3.00 USD and $1.50 USD worth going to jail over?

was told once at work I couldn't have christmas off because other people 'Have families' And when I pointed out a had a family just not children they were dismissive, also when I pointed out I am the only religious person in the office (catholic) and christmas was a religious holiday they tried to argue catholics dont celebrate christmas ...

I was temping as a receptionist for a construction company. I took a phone call from an angry woman who complained that workmen in one of our vans were eating sandwiches in the van, parked on the High Street in Daventry. In Daventry! On the High Street!

It took me a while trying to extract from her what exactly was the nub of the issue here - was it the van? The sandwiches? The eating? The fact they were workmen? But she just kept saying “It’s Daventry!”

I’d never been to Daventry. The office where I worked was in Leeds. I had no idea that workmen eating sandwiches in a van on Daventry High Street was in appropriate. It was mystifying.

Someone once nabbed me on my lunch break to let me know she was coming up to my department to demand her extra day’s wages for February the 29th. She had a yearly salary and was furious that in a leap year work got an extra day’s labour out of her.

I might have suggested that she didn’t rock the boat because I’d overheard management mention that the salaries had all been set on a leap year, and that they were considering deducting a day’s pay on the other three years. I told her they’d decided against it but it would be best not to bring it up again in case they changed their minds.

Not my finest hour, but in my defence I was trying to eat, she was a serial complainer, and it did mean she didn’t come up and interrupt my work that afternoon.

@ERFGLA

I could write a book about my retail days , but my favourite was when I worked for a large well known animal rehoming centre. And someone returned a golden retriever dog they had rehomed last week because it kept “ retrieving “ lol. Clues in the name ... Also a kitten that was returned for taking the flat screen tv off the wall 🤣

I’ve had some heartbreaking surrenders when I worked at an animal rescue.

One wanted to give up their dog because she no longer matched the new wallpaper and curtains. Luckily she flew out quickly because she was so young.

The other was an elderly little dog wo whimpered and whined when they all went camping. As the owners decided they really liked camping, they gave the dog up so they continue. The poor little dog didn’t know what had happened to her. She was yelping as they owners walked away and they didn’t even turn back. We sent her out as a foster because she was so confused. It took her a little while to be rehomed but she did in the end

@maddiemookins16mum

Ex holiday rep here.

The lemons (in Cyprus) have too many pips.
No bacon for breakfast (Egypt)
Too much curry (Goa)
and my personal favourite......
‘I want to go on the Israel trip, but I refuse to be circumcised to do it’.

Disclaimer: my customers did not need to be circumcised to go on a two day mini cruise to Israel from Cyprus.

I sent the circumcision one to my Israeli uncle, suggesting that tourism would go through the roof if only people knew. He replied protesting that the circumcision clinic at Ben Gurion Int'l is very convenient and hygienic

Many years ago when I worked in our local authority Trading Standards we used to get lots of trivial crazy complaints from the public who obviously had too much time of their hands, but my favourite was a man who was very irate about the fact that PG Tips pyramid tea bags broke Trade Descriptions because they were actually tetrahedrons. Still makes me smile!

I've thought of another one.
Doing a late night shift on hotel reception and had one check in left. The guy arrives but there's someone else with him, sometimes people book a twin but don't add the second person, not a problem, allocated room was a twin, just needed to add a surcharge for the extra breakfast. Nope, this second guy insists he's booked his own room. So I check the system again, no record of this booking at all, sometimes wrong dates or days are put in, but no record at all. I ask to see his booking confirmation as I can try and trace payment and booking ref through the 3rd party he'd booked through. He insists that the booking confirmation is at the bottom of his bag and he's not going to dig it out. I'm panicking at this point with a full hotel and thinking someone has royally fucked up here. So I sit him down with a free drink and some nibbles and ask again about the booking confirmation as I really need to sort this situation for him ASAP. After much huffing and puffing he gets it from his inside jacket pocket 🙄 and I have a quick scan through and notice that yes, he's booked in that night, into his own room, all paid for......... At a different hotel about a hundred miles away 🤦he would not have it, I tried all sorts to prove that he'd booked an entirely different hotel to his colleague, the address, even the hotel name was different, he finally accepted it when his colleague explained. However it didn't end there, when he realised what he'd done he told me to just change it. When I apologised and said we were fully booked that night but could try other hotels close to us he then huffed, said it was unacceptable but would have to do and as he'd already paid, I could just 'transfer the payment'. I really didn't know what to say to that, he really didn't understand that he'd paid an entirely different hotel......
His colleague must have taken pity on me because he suggested they share the twin that night, which thankfully the guy agreed to. I waivered the extra breakfast charge, willing to pay it myself at that point if I needed to because I just couldn't go there!

Not me but a colleague - we worked for head office complaints for a high street bank. She once took a complaint from a dude convinced that ad advert about a hamster wanting to expand his cage was about him, as he’d recently applied for a further advance on his mortgage and his name was Hamza.

I can kind of understand his logic, except his mortgage and therefore further advance was with a different company

This particular colleague must have been on the Mad Customer Hotline as she also got one from a bloke who said an advert with an ugly bloke had cost him a date because he looked too much like the guy on the advert

Also had some horrible ones. Won’t share those though.