Does anyone else have a far fetched and dramatic escape plan, or is it just me?

[FortunesFavour]

To be clear, I’m not talking about escaping from bad relationships or awful jobs - nothing sensible like that. No, I’m talking about escape plans from monsters, spies, aliens etc, just in case it should become necessary .

With me it’s zombies. I love a good shambling zombie and for years I’ve always had a plan in each place I’ve lived for what I would do in a zombie attack...where I would hide, which drainpipe I would shimmy down, where I could find an armoured truck and so on. Important stuff I’m sure you’ll agree!

I don’t believe in them of course - I am fully sane I assure you! It’s just idle speculation when bored, or a game. Eg leaving an empty train platform, I’ll imagine a train pulling up and disgorging zombies onto the platform...run or hide? How long would they take to reach me (this of course v much depends on whether you have a stumbler a la Walking Dead, or a runner a la 28 Days Later- in which case you’re stuffed and might as well throw in the towel straight away).

It might surprise you to learn that I’m not a teenage boy, but a professional woman in her 40s! P’raps it’s just escapism - fictional monsters being easier to deal with than current reality.

Anyone else have a plan in mind? Doesn’t have to be zombies - aliens, dragons, tigers, assassins, demons and stormtroopers all welcome...just no real threats as that spoils the fun (so planning hiding spots from MIL and the kids doesn’t count!).

Or is it just me?

I actually think Cybermen could be quite tricky. Yes, they make a hellava racket when stomping down your street in formation so lots of warning to run and hide. But can’t they also just beam directly into everyone’s living room when they fancy it, or have I got that wrong? If they can just beam down at will then I fear this might put them in the same enemy bracket as velociraptors - i.e we’re all going to die despite our well laid plans.

Hmm. This is a matter of some concern and I have a shameful gap in my encyclopaedic knowledge of useless facts in that I don’t actually know how to kill cybermen . Any suggestions? It’s going to gnaw away at me that I don’t have any options here.

Good lord @ScrollEatSleepRepeat, how the hell did he survive that in the book? Good on him though - he was practically bitten in half and then gulped down by a massive T-Rex whilst sat on the big and yet he still bounced back. That’s a proper man! 💪 Take note all you snowflakes worrying about a few measly covidy sniffles

bog of course

Perhaps you’ve already received a visit @Moondust001...have you checked yourself over for any brain implants recently?

If you haven’t been abducted yet then you should expect a visit soon. They are monitoring this frequency you know and you just invited them round yours 👽👽. You and the family should barricade yourselves in the basement for the next few nights as a precautionary measure.

@FortunesFavour I think the 'beaming' bit was only when Torchwood weakened the wall between realities; I don't think it's their usual pattern.

OK so we're happy that a few well placed rugs can deal with the Daleks and the Cybermen are incapable of coming down the road quietly. What about the Zygons ????? Can you be absolutely sure you aren't sitting near one right now ?

But if we put down rugs to trip up Sale is, then won't we muffle the sound of cybermen tramping through the lounge?

Obviously that should have said daleks not Sale is. My phone is not educated in Dr who clearly

I have quite a few plans "on the boil" for Zombie Apocalypse time, the laziest one is to survive and show everyone else how smart I am at knitting and crochet, so I will be protected as The Person who Makes Cosy Things.

..you'll all be grateful come winter, that Lara Croft t shirt and combat trouser/shorts look is NOT going to save you from hypothermia.

@terrywynne Excellent point! Maybe we should invest in peculiarly noisy rugs?

Something at the back of my head is saying Cybermen don't like gold. I need to check that!

Excellent point! Maybe we should invest in peculiarly noisy rugs?
Bubble wrap?

😂😂 bubble wrap over the carpet is a cracking suggestion. How easily the daleks are defeated! They really are the most rubbish of all the aliens and I don’t think they’re capable of bringing about the end of the world frankly. Dr Who is exaggerating the threat because he’s trying to look hard.

That is a very astute plan @LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow. After the sky falls we will live in a very hard and unforgiving world where our precious creature comforts will be but a memory. People Who Make Cosy Things will have a high status in our fledging new society because a) we’ll all be yearning for softness and comfort which will be in short supply and b) many of those with this special skill won’t be well equipped to survive the extinction event itself so will die horribly in their millions, leading to an extreme skills shortage.

To ensure that you don’t fall foul of point b yourself Laurie, make sure that you chum up with a Lara Croft type who will protect you during the early days of the most acute slaughter and fear, in exchange for your future cosy services once safely in a stronghold.

I’m not ignoring the extremely helpful Cybermen inputs up-thread. Thanks for those. Pesky reality is taking up my time 🙄. Will revert this evening when I have time to do the important C-Man topic justice. Fnar.

@FortunesFavour I have a complete dread and fear of zombies and vampires. And rather foolishly read World War Z, then watched it and Sean of the Dead and a few apocalyptic novels over the space of a fortnight and then had very realistic nightmares for two nights. Which made me realise I had no plans in case the zombies did arrive.

So I made plans. Not many people are aware of them so as to keep my pack small. I've added in bikes to my plan so will need to steal the neighbour's trailer too...

H thinks it's a bit of fun. He is WRONG.

@FortunesFavour I took your advice with the multitasking and got out of my birthday surprise! Inspired!

I can now protect you all from the Sharknado, but don’t think chainsaws work on zombies, so can I have some help with zombie apocalypse in return?

@FortunesFavour

That is a very astute plan *@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow*. After the sky falls we will live in a very hard and unforgiving world where our precious creature comforts will be but a memory. People Who Make Cosy Things will have a high status in our fledging new society because a) we’ll all be yearning for softness and comfort which will be in short supply and b) many of those with this special skill won’t be well equipped to survive the extinction event itself so will die horribly in their millions, leading to an extreme skills shortage.

To ensure that you don’t fall foul of point b yourself Laurie, make sure that you chum up with a Lara Croft type who will protect you during the early days of the most acute slaughter and fear, in exchange for your future cosy services once safely in a stronghold.

we shall be friends

HOWEVER...I have moderate AxeSkillz and a daughter with access to lots of axes and better AxeSkillz than me so between us we can assist in the defence and set up of A Stronghold.

Also I have access to a narrowboat, so providing it's not WWZ type zombies I can pootle about the waterways of the UK for a bit. :o Probably raiding yarn shops to protect my future .

That’s a good point about the Cosy Things. I can make Cosy Things and also pluck, draw and cook whatever birds have been slain by the Lara Croft types, so can provide both internal and external cosiness services in return for someone doing the actual slaying. I can also lend out a creaky retired gundog for the flushing of said birds, although he finds retrieving them beneath his dignity (could maybe get DS involved there).

If cosy things are to be made then shepherd/sheep shearer/spinner need to go up the list of desirable skills...

Setting up a post apocalyptic community required quite a lot of skills beyond Lara Croft types it turns out.

That’s very true. Also gardeners, otherwise there’s going to be a distinct lack of dietary fibre with unfortunate consequences, especially given the presumable shortage of plumbers. I have a vegetable patch which I’m willing to share! And I know a dairy farmer so we won’t all end up with osteoporosis due to a lack of calcium 👍

I've decided already I'm too old to fight zombies and aliens or live in a post apocalyptic world so I'm just going to give up and take one for the team. I'll die heroically saving a small child from the monsters or something

You would love watching the show 'Doomsday Preppers' OP.

I too think about this a lot (I blame the Walking Dead and also The Purge films). Sometimes when I'm walking the dog when it's dark I imagine The Purge is going on and we have to walk really quietly through the streets

My zombie plan would be to hijack a cruise ship and live on fish 🐟

My zombie plan would be to hijack a cruise ship and live on fish

Now that is ambitious! Best make sure it is definitely Zombie free though - being trapped on a ship with Zombies is a horror film in the making...

Just popping in to say re Cyberman, spray extra strong nail varnish remover at the plastic box things on their chests - dissolves and they die! I remember this from 50 years ago though, so they might have been upgraded since!

Another one here who is an ancient goddess (or sorceress) ready and able to save the entire world from - everything! I just need to find the key to unlocking my unimaginable (except to me) powers .....