Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 4

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Previous question:

Why has my DH asked me to go to the shop?

My answer: Because he needs the new PS5 so desperately!

My question: Why is it so bloody difficult to buy from Boots online?

Its illegal not to. Quality control.

Should i replace the chocolate balls I ate for the stockings?

Only if you replace the Xmas alcohol you have bought
Why is Turkey such a popular dish for Xmas lunch given nobody thinks of eating it for the rest of the year?

You have bought and drunk*

It's a conspiracy. Too many turkeys are using 5G, so there isn't enough to go round. So some clever turkeys have marketed turkey as a Christmas food, to bring down the numbers, while they hog all the 5G capacity and put microchips in all of us whilst changing the batteries in the pigeons.

Have I missed out any conspiracies there?

COViD obviously ,it's all a big conspiracy as well as the Earth is actually flat which everyone knows ,taps nose
Why is getting two children ready for school in the morning such a ballache?

Yes 3, the guy who works down the chippy really is Elvis, God is really a Woman & The World is an Illusion.
The conspiracy is that it's not a conspiracy it's actually true or is it but the other hand?

Where was I yesterday?

Because you're making the fatal mistake of allowing them balls in the morning. That's just a major tactical error. No balls in the morning = perfect happy smiling kids ready for school.

If the earth is flat, will cats shove everything off the edge?

Because the person operating your character in The Sims makes it that way.

Where was I yesterday?

The cats already have.

And apart from will I ever get a post in edgeways please? Where was I yesterday?

Nottingham Christmas market

Who wants some biltong?

Yes please & some pork scratchings, olive with feta & a New York cheesecake too.

Is @Aroundtheworldin80moves really Charlize Theron?

No she's actually Meghan Markle
How will the Reindeer cope with social distancing?

Terribly they are very distraught about the whole thing. Luckily Santa as one of the most essential of key workers is getting every elf & reindeer vaccinated on Tuesday.

Is Antonio Banderas getting hotter in old age or do I need a new contact lens prescription?

Not until 24 December.

Should I travel by train this week?

Yes you need to travel on the Royal Train with William and Kate and thank people for their services regarding COVID
Will anybody be walking in a Winter Wonderland this year?

It will snow in london on Christmas Day. And the Thames will freeze.

Will they ever grit my road, or is the ice here to stay now?

Yes today at 2.30pm but you will be expected to drive the truck and wear a bob the builder hat so make sure you are ready.

How can I stop my car frosting over?

Park it in your lounge with the heating on full blast
Why do people decide to ring when I'm in the bath?

Because they want a good clean conversation with you. You should not oblige them in this.

What is that yellow thing that we used to get in the sky called again?

A custard pie

Why has Kate changed her coat? (She was wearing an olive green coat getting on the train but left the train wearing a duck egg blue coat)

She spilled her lunchtime gin on the green one.

Why is it so cold?

Someone forgot to pay the heating bill so the sun was turned off

Why can't Santa send out wrapping elves rather than naughty elf's?

Because Kanye has poached them to help write his next album. He's given them a mahoosive pay rise, free clothes & as many Kylie Lipkits as they want.

Why has Kate changed into yet another coat? (The 3rd coat today & Navy this time)

Because she doesn't want any of her coats to feel left she feels they all deserve the same exposure ,
Is the Royal Train spacious for coats ?

The royal wardrobe has its own carriage. As do the royal toilets (one per senior royal)

What shall I do while DH is Zooming his Scouts?