Baby been crying for 3 hours

[OhToBeASeahorse]

Any suggestions or virtual hugs desperately needed

I think it's worth speaking to a GP as it could be all sorts of things. It could be cow's milk (and can be soya to) intolerance or reflux or both. Classic signs can be not settling on back, having to be held to sleep, possibly vomiting a lot etc. More severe intolerance can include mucus and blood in nappies. This could affect weight gain if vomiting or not drinking enough as reflux irritates them. If you think it could be allergy then you could remove cow's milk and soya from your diet if breastfeeding, however you may need to take extra calcium so Dr should advise. Dr can prescribe special formulas if bottle fed or breast and bottle fed. It will get easier, but take a video and speak to your Dr (if there unhelpful speak to another etc).

Have you tried some formula OP? I remember by ds foung this and he was basically hungry. It might be worth a go. I didn't stop breast feeding but I had to supplement for a bit

Just to add, if it is that there are Facebook support groups with parents in despair due to how hard it is, but having been there myself you can get through it. Is there also a family member or friend that you can live with you and help look after your toddler whilst you go through this tough time? If it is cow's milk protein allergy (not to be confused with lactose) then it's treatable. However, it might not be hence suggesting you speak with GP, as you said it could be tongue tie. If it's reflux there is medicine, but GPs can need persuasion to prescribe so you'd need an understanding one. Definitely seek help, although that in itself is more hassle when barely surviving. I hope it improves soon.

Virtual hug sent. I’m glad your DH has taken her for a drive and that’s always my plan b.

I’d suggest seeing your GP on Monday for both of you. PND can strike very early or late after birth and the quicker it’s supported, the better. The GP can see if you might be suffering or show signs of it being a concern.

Does your baby have any rashes, or indications of an allergy? Reflux? Not lying down in a pram, sleeping in a sling but waking once taken out and presumably lying down flat are big reflux signs and medication can be a game changer.

I’m really sorry about this. I hope you have had a little chance for rest. I had many fun walks in the late/early hours to the local garage while I was trying desperately to get lo to sleep.

Can you call the TT people, tell them
You're desperate, ask if they can come sooner. Do you have a pump? I'd suggest trying to express and offering baby a top up until you've had your appointment.

I had a baby with v severe tongue tie and it was beyond tough. I'd suggest this routine just for now:

Change nappy
Breast feed baby (offer both sides)
Offer top up
Pump for next top up

If it's hunger that should help. If they fall asleep go to bed and co sleep. Can anyone come and take the toddler for a walk for an hour so your DH can have a couple of hours sleep too? Does toddler go to nursery? Can you up his hours a bit to give you the best chance of a rest? Or hire a babysitter on a temporary basis for a few hours here and there?

Both of mine are shit sleepers, were high needs and EBF, I haven't had an uninterrupted night's sleep (I'm not exaggerating, not a single one) in 4.5 years. They are now 4.5 and 18 months and it's manageable. Still hard but manageable. You can do this. This too shall pass.

Hugs, OP. DS2 is now 5 months but gosh those first 6 weeks were HARD. I think my mind had blanked it out from my firstborn, it came as a shock to the system! It really did change around 6 weeks - he just sort of settled into the world, I like to think. So, hang in there. Also, we had tongue tie & feeding issues. I knew from the agony I went through with DS1 that I wasn’t going to put myself through trying to BF again if it didn’t work out... I got to 3 days and then gave formula. Didn’t help at all that I couldn’t get any NHS support (thanks COVID). We had his tongue tie sorted privately, too. Hope it gets better & like PP have said - you have all of Mumsnet behind you! Now, for coffee 😊

Sending hugs and solidarity! You CAN do this. Keep going, although it seems rubbish and impossible, you can do it. It will get better.
I don’t know what area you are in but my HV will do home visits for people that need it (she has been visiting us at least monthly since my babies were born in April). As everyone else has said, can anyone come and help with your toddler for a few hours? Do you have some easy microwaveable food so you don’t have to worry about cooking? It will get better. I hope the TT appt helps but as others have said perhaps try supplementing with a bottle so you get some rest?

I wonder if there is an underlying dairy allergy/ this sounds very much like my son started out and a similar age... hope you get some respite soon much love xx

DS1 had colic and i lived like this for 3 months, until it stopped like magic.

Maybe cut out all dairy in your diet if you bf, or an alternative milk.
infacol
tummy massage, or lay him on your tummy and massage his back in a circular motion.
sling
co sleep
constant motion

Have you tried having a shower, wear a clean shirt for a while them put it by the baby?

Not sure if anyone has mentioned it but have you tried to Tiger in the Tree hold? Google it, baby is supported by your arm and hand and lies tummy down straddling your forearm. You use the other hand to bring her close or pat her. It relieves tummy pain and pressure and is a colicky baby magic cure.

Also, if it got really bad I used to strip DD and myself down and walk around singing to her and doing skin to skin so the sound of my heartbeat would calm her down.

Biggest hugs ever - it is so so so hard when they cry and you don't know why.
There is a big chance it's something tummy related like wind, gas or constipation but you will need to eliminate things to figure it out xx

Can I suggest calling the NCT feeding helpline. Open up to 10pm every day. Anyone can call totally free. 0300 330 0700.

My DD's both had CMPA (milk allergies) and used to scream all day especially DD1. My in laws would come over every day to help as she was so awful until she was finally prescribed Neocate. Is it worth having that checked? Sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time.

You're all very kind,thank you. We've all managed a nap. DD hasnt always been like this, it's got worse over the last 3 days. Today she has been fine, she's been asleep in the sling for the past 2.5 hours.

Our hv isnt doing any visits. The TT lady was lovely and said they can help with wind or reflux if that's what it is

Toddler goes to childminder twice a week down from 3 when I was working. DH thinks we should go back to 3 but I'd feel very guilty.

Ive cut out dairy from today

Don’t say it’s due to your parenting you sound fantastic and you’re trying really had to sort the problems out. I’ve fed two tongue tied babies and it was truly awful . I found the rugby hold the best. And sending the other to the childminder is a great idea you need a rest. If you do want to give formula or pumped milk check out paced feeding videos on YouTube. It helps keep the baby breastfeeding (if that what you want to do).
Best of luck and don’t be hard on yourself, you are doing a great job.

I really hated pumping last time. If I had to top up with formula I will but I'm reluctant

Don't feel guilty! Send the toddler for 3 days a week for a month or two. You can always drop down if you want to later on. Honestly, toddler will be fine.

I would only suggest topping up to see if it resolves the screaming. If it doesn't then baby probably isn't hungry but maybe wind etc. Might be a growth spurt, is baby cluster feeding a lot?

Cluster feeding? 5-6 weeks was the worst week when DS was newborn, he wanted to feed constantly. He fed for about 13 hours straight at that age, at one point. It started to get better after 6 weeks.

If this makes you feel less guilty, my toddler is in nursery full time because I have a 5 week old like you and I don’t know if I could cope with the toddler and the newborn at the same time. Do not feel bad for increasing to 3 days!!

Could this be the 6 week growth spurt, so your baby is just super hungry?

Well I do try and feed her at any possible sign of hunger but last night she just wasnt interested

God if it’s affordable definitely go to three days at the childminder! Think it’s almost easier than two days for them at that age as they are more used to going if it’s more frequent.

Having had four kids, two of whom were very difficult to settle and cried a lot and two who just fed, rolled over and went to sleep, I would second investigating tongue tie, cmpi and reflux. Obviously if you think she could be poorly call 111.

Don’t despair it will pass. You are a great mum and it is really hard!

Just saw your latest update, you don’t think she could be poorly do you? Does she still cry for a long time even when being held? If at all worried I wouldn’t hesitate to get medical advice this evening. (I know you have an appointment tomorrow.)

2 like this cant be bad luck. I'm clearly just doing it wrong.

Mine were both very difficult- dd2 the worse of the 2, but I did get through it. They are 7 and 10 now and the easiest dc out there. You can do it