Gifted deposit, help

[Imanidiot20]

Had offer accepted on a house. Got money from house sale and parents also said that they would give me a sum of money towards the deposit too if I needed it as they didn't give me much for wedding.

My head's been all over the place with house stuff, working long hours and stressful family health worries. Lots of back and forth on how much to offer and how much deposit to put down. My parents also had to get a letter saying it's a gift and give identity documents and bank statements so it's been stressful for them too, which they could have done without. I didn't realise they had to do all that. I'm clueless about all this stuff.

I'm waiting for some of my deposit money to go back into my account after I'd applied to put it in premium bonds. The whole process has been so stressful - was intending on waiting a while before buying again before we saw this house but plans changed and it's been full on juggling work and house buying. Then it turned out that I actually didn't need all that money (at least not the full amount) from my parents. So they've given me this money as a gift but I didn't need it all. I feel awful and also stressed out that I won't get the mortgage because I had more money in my account. Also worried about the delay in getting the rest of my deposit back it's supposed to be next week but what if it takes longer. I spent much of yesterday in tears about all this and a family member has given me strong words and said I better give parents back the money. My parents are ok about it said to stay calm and just get the house purchase sorted but I'm worried all this will count against me.

I'm just upset about my stupidity and if I'm successful getting this house I'm never doing it again. What a mess.

In no way will having too much money go against you in a mortgage application.

Ignore family member, none of their business.

The documents and bank statements your parents are providing is simply money laundering and ID requirements a Solicitor needs to ensure you and your parents aren’t trying to launder money and your Solicitor can see where the money has come from. Yes, it’s a bit inconvenient to attend in person but it takes a few minutes and shouldn’t be stressful at all.

Get through the buying process and return any balance to your parents. You are fortune enough to have this gift but better to have too much than too little. House buying is stressful but if you’ve got a good Solicitor, they should be explaining all of this to you and addressing any concerns you may have.

Try and calm down a bit. What do you mean by counting against you?

I'm sure your parent would be happy for you to use the extra money to do jobs on then new house (every house has unexpected things that need doing in the first few months). Or you could borrow slightly less on the mortgage and have a bigger deposit.

House buying is hugely stressful but your issues are easily overcome.

I’m a bit confused about what you’re worried about; why would having too much money in your account count against your mortgage?
I would try not to worry too much about the time it takes to get your deposit back; unless there’s been lots of delays and everyone is up against it then it’s unlikely to effect things and I think when house buying you need to keep in mind that if it falls through there will be other houses and it’s not the end of the world.
It’s quite standard to need proof of where money comes from and it’s not your fault that you didn’t realise as neither did your parents and I think it’s unfair for them to make you feel that it’s stressful to get a few documents together.

Lastly it sounds like they gave you the money before you’d found the place you wanted to buy so you didn’t know how much deposit you needed. In some ways I think that if they happy to gift you that amount of money then getting any back is a plus and it wasn’t the other relatives place to interfere

I’m confused. Why would you not put all the money they gave you as a deposit and have a smaller mortgage? They can’t have given you too much money unless you’re a cash buyer and there’s money left over.

Having 'too much' money in the bank is great for a mortgage - especially at the moment when higher loan to value mortgages are being coming less available!

This isn't a problem. You've just got yourself mixed up because you're stressed out. Have a cup of tea and sit down for a sec.

You can give your parents back anything you don't need, if they want you to, after you've secured the sale. Surely they would be pleased by such a circumstance, not annoyed. Your conveyancer can update anything necessary wrt percentages of gift vs savings in your paperwork. It's really fine.

It's totally normal for sums to change after application because if you think about it, you often renegotiate the price after surveys come back. The only time any of this would be a problem would be if you didn't have enough money. Having more than you need is not an issue.

Just keep it until you've completed. It sounds as though your parents aren't hassling you so it's nothing to do with the other family member.

On a practical note, I'd also wait a bit so you are sure the amount wasn't something you need for the SDLT etc.

Once you've moved in, then you can ask your parents what they'd like you to do.

Just add the money to your deposit and have lower monthly repayments. Much better in these current times. Why does your family member even know so much about it? They could be jealous that your parents have generously gifted you money. Moving house is stressful but don't worry- you've got this covered.

Well I basically told the broker that all my money was going into the deposit but now I have around 8k left once that's taken out. I wasn't sure how much I'd need with lawyers fees etc.

I just feel rotten like I've unintentionally lied to my parents about needing this money. They're not wealthy and I felt guilty about accepting it in the first place. The family member who has been helping and advising me every step of the way with this (because I don't have a clue about financial matters and what to say in emails) called me a stupid c* and said he hopes that I lose the house and I can sort it all out myself now. I was shocked and upset at this but he's been really invested in all this and already lost it when my solicitor didn't want to put in the offer before the closing date, said she'd lose me the house and I should get another solicitor. Then said I should knock on the seller's door and make an offer instead. I'm not pushy and confident like him though.

It's all been really full on and I feel pulled this way and that. I'd initially been going to offer a lot less but he suggested that I offer more and I was confused how much deposit I needed. So I was successful getting the house but now I'm feeling like shit. My parents told me to calm down when I phoned them in tears. They said just get things sorted. But now I'm stressing about not getting the mortgage and the hold up with the premium bonds too although surely I can't be the only person that's had to wait to get money out after investing it. And now I've been reading about inheritance tax and stuff but I just want to pay them back asap and forget about how thoughtless I am. Every now and then I do something stupid, this is the latest

So you’ve got more money than you need right now? Excellent! The mortgage company won’t care, why would they? As long as you can a) provide the deposit required and b) pass the mortgage affordability and credit tests then they don’t mind lending whatever amount you asked for.

My parents are ok about it said to stay calm and just get the house purchase sorted

Sounds OK then!

Get it purchased, move, then sort out the finances and who owes what after.

Don’t panic. If you panic you make mistakes that take longer to sort out.

Wow I wish this was my only stress at the moment

This is all so very confusing.

Who is this other family member and why has he turned against you? This whole situation seems very confusing.

Who ever the family member is - they ain't helping, they are being an arse.

You've got a solicitor and a broker helping you, you'll be fine

Well your cousin sounds like a nasty cunt for a start.

I appreciate that you must be struggling with this and work to be getting in such a state, but yes, calm down. You're not thoughtless and I'm sure that your parents are only gifting you money that they can afford. Can they help you with the practicalities and also have an open and honest conversation about whether they need the money back or are happy for you to keep it to help with the inevitable expenses in your new home - furniture, decorating etc?

No need to worry about inheritence tax if your parents aren't wealthy either. Only the estates of people with lots of money and/or expensive houses pay that and it won't directly affect your parents because it's only applied after they die and hopefully that won't be for many years yet. If they survive for 7 years, the gift has no impact even if their estate is over the threshold and it tapers down in that time.

Right, OP.

You are being “stupid” but just because you’re panicking completely unnecessarily.

Stay calm.

Extra £8K is a non-issue. Family member ‘helping’ is a Banstead. Ignore and do it yourself anyway, you’ll feel more confident when you have. Stop stressing about inheritance tax, that’s a non-issue too.

When do you need to exchange contracts and pay deposit? How long a delay will premium bonds take to repay? How much is tied up in them - does the ‘extra’ £8K help?

@Constance1

Who is this other family member and why has he turned against you? This whole situation seems very confusing.

I’m also wondering this. It seems a huge overreaction to what is a really minor issue?

I just feel rotten like I've unintentionally lied to my parents about needing this money. They're not wealthy and I felt guilty about accepting it in the first place.

If your parents are in a position to give you a significant sum of money towards a house (more than 8k by your last message), pay towards your wedding AND are in no rush for the extra money to be returned, they are most definitely wealth in my eyes.

...wealthy not wealth

Sorry, for some reason I thought you'd said it was your cousin that was 'advising' you, now I realise you haven't said who it was.

This is the first time I've read a thread where op is worried about having too much money to buy a house. Once everything is complete if you have money left from your parents you can give it back then?? Family member seems over involved in the whole thing, stop involving them!

This doesn’t actually sound like a mess at all OP.

It just sounds as if you have got yourself in a tizzy (understandable) about the admin.

You say you have money from a house sale? Is that house already sold? Or are you selling and buying simultaneously?

Are you due to exchange contracts next week? Just use all your parents gift and your house sale money for the deposit. Or if that isn’t enough and you need your Premium Bond money back, well they will just have a bit of a delay, maybe.

Deep breath, check with your solicitor the list and timeline of everything you need to do, keep looking forwards and ignore interfering family members.

Good luck! It will all be worth it in the end.

Ditch the family member for advice. Sounds like they're making life harder and wrong footing you.
Your solicitor will guide you, that's what they're for.

The hold up in premium bonds could be due to lots of people withdrawing money from various NS&I products due to the forthcoming drop in interest rates. They've been overwhelmed.

Normally you can get your money back in a few days, but perhaps its taking longer than that? Maybe keep your solicitor informed, its likely everyone is happy to wait a few days, its a well publicised issue.