Gifted deposit, help

[Imanidiot20]

Had offer accepted on a house. Got money from house sale and parents also said that they would give me a sum of money towards the deposit too if I needed it as they didn't give me much for wedding.

My head's been all over the place with house stuff, working long hours and stressful family health worries. Lots of back and forth on how much to offer and how much deposit to put down. My parents also had to get a letter saying it's a gift and give identity documents and bank statements so it's been stressful for them too, which they could have done without. I didn't realise they had to do all that. I'm clueless about all this stuff.

I'm waiting for some of my deposit money to go back into my account after I'd applied to put it in premium bonds. The whole process has been so stressful - was intending on waiting a while before buying again before we saw this house but plans changed and it's been full on juggling work and house buying. Then it turned out that I actually didn't need all that money (at least not the full amount) from my parents. So they've given me this money as a gift but I didn't need it all. I feel awful and also stressed out that I won't get the mortgage because I had more money in my account. Also worried about the delay in getting the rest of my deposit back it's supposed to be next week but what if it takes longer. I spent much of yesterday in tears about all this and a family member has given me strong words and said I better give parents back the money. My parents are ok about it said to stay calm and just get the house purchase sorted but I'm worried all this will count against me.

I'm just upset about my stupidity and if I'm successful getting this house I'm never doing it again. What a mess.

Ok so trying to do some sums it appears that if I hadn't accepted dad's money I'd have been able to pay it all myself but with only 1k left in my account afterwards. And 1k is 1k but it doesn't last long. The deposit they're getting is more than we'd initially thought was needed, so he'd given me extra money. Maybe more than my DB got for the wedding, I don't know. I'll speak to my parents about this soon, it's difficult with social distancing and stuff but if we get it all down on paper (and my dad is better at maths than me, I'm terrible) hopefully we can get to the bottom of things.

Just wait until you get your money back out of premium bonds. Wait until everything is in your account. Speak with your broker, sort out the mortgage you are happy with and then just return what you can of your parents gift. Pay them back more later if you want, but give them a say. See how they feel.
Ignore your brother.

And just calm down. The only reason this is an issue is that you're working yourself into a state and becoming hysterical and inventing problems which sont exist. Just calm down and get on with it as and when the information and money become available.

Calm down.

All that matters is

1. do you have enough to pay the deposit on time to exchange?
2. do you have enough to pay solicitor fees?

Everything else sort out after the same has completed.

Chill!

I hope the new house is in your name only if you’re paying for it. Sounds as though your relationship is doomed. Why havent you told friends about the house move .... you sound a bit odd.

A broker and solicitor will only care if you have LESS money than stated and even then they only care that you have enough for the deposit and enough for the monthly repayments for the mortgage. People's financial situations change all the time.

Ignore your brother. He sounds like an idiot.

As for the mortgage I don't wholly understand why you'd have £8k left. I would want to reduce the LTV (loan to value) making my monthly payments lower. Or I would use the money to buy a new car, but only because we need one.

I think you are worrying about the wrong things. You must ringfence your parent's contribution and your contribution if you can as you are married and things are shakey. You don't want to have to buy him out when it sounds like he is not putting as much money, if any, into this house. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO. Get on to your solicitor right way about how to do this. I am amazed that this hasn't been done but perhaps your solicitor doesn't know about your shakey marriage. Send her an email saying your marriage is shakey and you would like to protect your parents' contribution from any potential claim by your husband. You should also tell her that you would also like to protect as much of your contribution from any potential claim as well. Tell her if any of the money came from a jointly owned home and about any monetary contributions your husband may have made. Don't worry about the wording - just get it to her. Also, does your husband really have investments because I'd find it odd that your parents were contributing and not your husband.

OP, your brother is treating you very badly it seems (a separate issue to the house purchase) but I have to say you do come across as ditsy. I was surprised to read this is not the first time you have bought a house, as you sound like a very naive first time buyer. I thought you were about 20 but you must be in your thirties! Please read all the good advice on this thread, and if there is anything you don't understand then lean on your broker/solicitor - you are paying them to advise you. Good luck.

Yep I'm ok for money for the deposit and solicitor fees. Will give parents back money too. I told mum that this evening when we were texting but she didn't say anything about it - will discuss at weekend.

Will look into protecting myself as well but I don't think he'd try anything. He's just wary after his last marriage ended and also has many family members who are divorced too, so doesn't see many successful unions, while my situation is the opposite.

Yes the house is in my name only. And I'm itching to tell people about the new house, but want to wait until the mortgage is all sorted first! I'm odd in a good way ;)

Am feeling a bit better about things now. Thanks everyone for helping me calm down.

Just to update on this... Got my mortgage sorted and everything seems to be proceeding well for getting the keys! So that's exciting.

DB still isn't talking to me :( I reckon he's convinced himself that I'm a nasty thief who stole money off our parents, one of whom is very ill. As well as being upset I'm also quite angry that he would think this. Dad asked if I'd told him about getting the mortgage, I said no. I don't want to message him and get more vile language back in return. Sigh.
Mum said she's sure it'll resolve itself. I'm assuming neither of them has told my brother that I'd needed some of the money they give, but I'll be giving some back as I didn't need it all. It's just quite depressing, feeling like he hates me, especially being so close to Christmas.

Not sure what to do.

Not sure what to do.
Don’t worry about it. Let him get in touch with you if he wants to. Otherwise I’d only message to say I’d got a completion date when I was sure it was going through e.g. the same week.

Hope it all keeps going smoothly, OP.

Thanks, will see what happens. I think the best thing would be if we both turn up at our parents' house, then he wouldn't swear at me or call me horrible names if they're around. And I can explain things.

He's not unfriended me on FB or Instagram. Maybe time has calmed him a bit, I hope so. DM said he's got a temper like our late grandfather and shoots first then asks questions later.