ADs head off to The Three Bellends and discuss luxury duvets and stationery

[BogRollBOGOF]

(Socially distanced of course and in strictest obedience of all localised lockdowns and 3 or 5 tiers and whatever illogic the powers that be can dream up next)

The original digital discussion continues...

Feelings matter here. From the big life shit to the really trivial. It matters.

Criminal damage for tearing clingfilm is ridiculous, but abusing police resources by throwing the book at him may hopefully beva good thing by publicising how pathetic, illogical and ridiculous these measures are.

It does worry me how the really paranoid types will adjust back to normality WHEN it returns. There is a huge amount of psychological damage building up through society. For all the war comparisons, years of austere living did take their toll and shape society. Living with abundant access to food in a mentality shaped by 15 years of food rationing still affects us today (at 39 I was raised by a DM who had food rationed from infancy to her teenage years so the legacy can linger a long time through generations). While this clearly isn't 15 years, social skills are quite fragile and very tied up with well being (and child development) and a year+ of being supressed with arbitary rules and being in fear of a virus/ rule breaking is damaging.
Living in fear of a bomb dropping on you all night is very different, but it's a concrete fear. You made it out of the shelter or you didn't it's a different fear to being terrified that you'll assymptomatically spread death to granny. If shit hit the fan, it was about practical survival, and while I don't want to dismiss the trauma of that, humans are wired to deal with stress with practical reaction, or coming together as families/ communities. We are not wired well to deal with chronic low-medium fear while sitting around at home.
So many survivors of the war were damged, and society is being damaged again in different ways.

I love Frank Turner!! He’s been amazing and inspirational during all this, despite struggling financially and creatively himself. These lyrics, sung along with very loudly, really helped me:

** So why are you sat at home?
You're not designed to be alone
You just got used to saying "no"
So get up and get down and get outside
Cos it's a lovely sunny day
But you hide yourself away
You've only got yourself to blame
Get up and get down and get outside **

Suffering “ What do elderly and disabled people do?“

They lose options to go out, and also mobility.

Mum has to make a point of keeping mobile around the house because there’s not really anywhere she can go. Some neighbours said the same when park benches were taped off.

I know nothing about Frank Turner...must listen to more.

He voiced my feeling with the line about countrymen and women, and
“when the ravens leave the Tower and you’re cowering for fear in the City”.

I don’t know when the song was written though, someone sent it to me early lockdown.

Also this:

So try and get better and don't ever accept less
Take a plain black marker and write this on your chest
Draw a line underneath all of this unhappiness
Come on now, let's fix this mess
We could get better
Because we're not dead yet
We could get better
Because we're not dead yet

(I’ll stop with the Frank Turner love now 😂)

@movingonup20

The whole situation is stupid, my friend has been sent to Swansea (from sw England) to deliver for Amazon because they are swamped with orders!

You mean people aren't sitting quietly at home waiting for the local independent shops to open so they can buy a new kettle? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you!

I have just seen something on a local Facebook page I cannot believe and I am so angry. A woman posted a picture of a child killed in Auschwitz with the graphic details of what happened to her and said we should all save the picture on our phones and look at it when we were unhappy to give ourselves “a sense of proportion” I am sure that will really help all those struggling with their mental health alone as no NHS resources are available to them, invalidating their feelings and making them feel they should be grateful for what they have 😡

Another thing which can help. I go to cafes, swimming pool, shops etc, some of these are quiet, (mostly in fact) and it helps to remember others who are there too are like you, doing the same thing. They are getting on with it OK, and would not be judging you as they are there as well!

Goodness there us quite a strong critical article in the Times today about the healthcare and treatment in the first wave.

@Whoooootaminute

I had a lovely dream last night.

It was February 20 and I had booked flights to Fuerteventura for February 28. I was so excited.

Then I woke up. 😕

You'll make it there long before Feb 2028 no matter what the dementors say.

The benches in my shopping centre were useless when I was heavily pregnant. I remember stagging my 35wk pg body into town for emergency updates to my bras (went up 5 cup sizes and was growing a cup every couple of weeks at this point) and upsizing maternity leggings as my normal size was running out of enough waist elastic to go under my bump (I really did look like a weeble). Parked in a parent space right next to M&S, went next door to Greggs for some sustenence for the next stage of my trek to Next next-door-but one.
Tried to sit on the benches. Bench 1 was a ridiculous low trendy stool thing that pushed me into a posture that crushed my lungs with my bump. Bench 2 was a stupidly oversized sofa that undid any rest by the time I shuffled myself off to my feet. I hate sofas so deep that your legs waggle out with your ankles dangling unsupported in the year.
Both seating of absolutely terrible design for the kinds of people most likely to use them

I haven't ventured into the shopping centre since 23rd July. Just the little shoe shop off the street. That's been it for town.

Sorry just realised that is not very helpful to places where some of the things are now allowed but hope you see the sentiment.

My Uncle (85) and his partner (91) go out more than me - he was very happy tw hem HMV reopened! I think they decided life's too short to sit indoors waiting for this to pass.

We've invited them over a few times and the first time I asked my Uncle if it was OK if I cut him a slice of cake or would he prefer to do it himself. He looked at me as though I'd lost the plot! The first time I visited them I wasn't sure whether they were happy for me to go in or not and he told me to get a move on, he wasn't sitting in the garden to talk to me! When I left, his partner thanked me for visiting as it was nice to see someone different after all that time.

They have made the assessment that they want to carry on as normal with some precautions and I respect their decision. At first I thought maybe I should try and convince them otherwise but they are more than capable of making their own decisions.

All hail ADs. You might remember me as the erstwhile SeagoingSexpot, except I started writing fiction and stopped reading the news and Mumsnet instead. Honestly, I recommend it. Good to see you all and your island of sanity though.

@Orangeblossom7777

Another thing which can help. I go to cafes, swimming pool, shops etc, some of these are quiet, (mostly in fact) and it helps to remember others who are there too are like you, doing the same thing. They are getting on with it OK, and would not be judging you as they are there as well!

Goodness there us quite a strong critical article in the Times today about the healthcare and treatment in the first wave.

I try to remember that the chances of meeting a wild dementor there is pretty low.

Most will be sitting obediently at home living virtually, not in public places.

Welcome back SeagoingSexpot.

My only trouble with fiction at the moment is trying to differentiate between fiction and reality. At the moment Bridget Jones feels like fantasy, and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix like contemporary social commentary

I'm looking forward to the new series of His Dark Materials. We're re-watching the previous series. I'm pleasantly surprised at how much the DCs love it.

I haven't ventured into the shopping centre since 23rd July. Just the little shoe shop off the street. That's been it for town.

I've been into town a couple of times as I had my eyes tested. It was bloody awful and not an experience I intend to repeat unless it's absolutely necessary. The shopping centre has a one way system and 'queue here' signs everywhere and there's continuous 'public service announcements' reminding you to wear a mask.

The people I meet on visits to the pool tend to be jolly smiling older people kitted out with nose clips and swimming caps. Maybe they have been going for years. It's nice seeing people without masks.

I go tot he cafe above Waitrose alone sometimes and have soup. or hot chocolate. You can take the mask off when sitting down. I sit and read a book from the library or the papers

The library is quite strange, staff in weird plastic surrounds. But I go in and get books. I was the only one there last time. They have a reservation waiting so will pick that up next week.

@Evenstar

I have just seen something on a local Facebook page I cannot believe and I am so angry. A woman posted a picture of a child killed in Auschwitz with the graphic details of what happened to her and said we should all save the picture on our phones and look at it when we were unhappy to give ourselves “a sense of proportion” I am sure that will really help all those struggling with their mental health alone as no NHS resources are available to them, invalidating their feelings and making them feel they should be grateful for what they have 😡

Just for one day, I'd like to make these people deal with their OH in the state my OH is in some days right now. When you've spent an hour deciding whether or not it's better for their mental health to try to get them out of bed, them come to me and tell me to be glad I'm not in Auschwitz.

I mean, I am glad I'm not in Auschwitz, but does that mean I can't also find the current situation rubbish? Maybe those worried about Covid should be glad the Black Death isn't circulating?

(I don't talk about what's going on with DH right now much because I find it easier to think in generalities, but basically this has retriggered depression which was previously managed very well through medication.)

@110APiccadilly I couldn’t agree more. I think the lack of empathy exhibited by people like that is staggering.

Just seen a news article going on about tier 4 restrictions....including the closing of non essential shops.
In the run up to Christmas?!! Are they on fucking spice or something??!!!

Also, arent the rates in some of the more restricted areas falling now?

@LivinLaVidaLoki

Just seen a news article going on about tier 4 restrictions....including the closing of non essential shops. In the run up to Christmas?!! Are they on fucking spice or something??!!!

Also, arent the rates in some of the more restricted areas falling now?

Closing non essential shops in the run up to Christmas. That will go down well.

There was a headline this morning about the vaccine being rolled out to NHS staff before Xmas so if it's that close what's the point in additional restrictions!

@AcornAutumn
Mum has to make a point of keeping mobile around the house because there’s not really anywhere she can go.
DF did the same when he was shielding. Deliberately went up & down stairs excessively to keep active. This is a man who fixes things outside & regularly walks miles. You wouldn't think he was nearly 80.

@Evenstar
A woman posted a picture of a child killed in Auschwitz with the graphic details of what happened to her and said we should all save the picture on our phones and look at it when we were unhappy to give ourselves “a sense of proportion”
That makes me angry too & it's very inappropriate & disrespectful. It's one thing to have compassion & outrage for atrocities to other human beings, but to use those atrocities to tell people to pull themselves together shows no empathy on the part of the person posting it.

Telling someone who is feeling really low they just need to get it into perspective is unhelpful, unkind, & possibly dangerous in that they might delay seeking help for their mental health. Please, if anyone is feeling low about life right now, don't think you have no right to support because of stupid FB posts like that.

The library is quite strange, staff in weird plastic surrounds. But I go in and get books. I was the only one there last time.

I was the only customer in the quite spacious library when I went, the woman who was doing the welcoming talked to me A LOT. I guess she was a bit lonely! They still made me walk around the one way system though

@TheOrchidKiller thankfully it seems to have been deleted, I was going to report it to the group admin.

@LivinLaVidaLoki

Just seen a news article going on about tier 4 restrictions....including the closing of non essential shops. In the run up to Christmas?!! Are they on fucking spice or something??!!!

Also, arent the rates in some of the more restricted areas falling now?

This really made me laugh 😆

The spice bit 😂😂