Where does one get one of those babies..

[OhToBeASeahorse]

... that have a feed, burp, lie down in the pram and fall asleep?

My first one didnt come from that variety. I ordered one for my 2nd. She is only small (10 days) but at the moment she essentially feeds ALL THE TIME and then needs to be rocked to sleep in the sling.

Does anyone know if I can exchange? The 1st one nearly killed me. I dont know if I can do this again.

No 1 was a cluster feeder and No 2 didn't sleep through till he was 2.5, so you have my sympathy! However, now they're 10 and 13, I'm glad I didn't exchange .

Mine were both faulty like yours.

However if you can hang on for 13 a couple of years they switch to the opposite fault and you can't get them out of bed

Of my 3 , only my first was as you describe , he's a very chilled (nearly) adult now.

If it's any consolation, I think you become more patient with experience , so in a small way it does get easier to cope with.

Congratulations by the way

What I want to know is where do you get those ones who fall asleep in the high chair, on the sofa, etc? I've seen photos of them on social media so they must exist somewhere. I'd like one of those.

Thanks everyone. Some lovely thoughts but no exchange address...

@beepbeepsheep I've decided they are probably drugged.

Human babies are born 3 months early

They need 3 months of everything they had in the womb: feeding on demand, constant holding, hearing your/a heartbeat/digestive noises.

Google the fourth trimester.

I think they are currently out of stock as my friends all seem to have them 🙄

@OhToBeASeahorse yep , my toddler has only ever fallen asleep on the sofa if he's poorly.

That makes sense @OhToBeASeahorse

I also received a faulty one and I was most envious of some excellent ones observed in cafes where they did as you describe, and the mother drank her coffee and ate cake with the use of BOTH HANDS.
If you find out where to get one of these please do let us know.

@Feminist10101 I'm very aware of what the 4th trimester is.

DS's lasted 9 months so you'll forgive me if I struggle a little.

There's a no refund/exchange policy on those I'm afraid. Mine would only sleep on me/DH.

But but but... consumer rights...

Both of mine were also faulty, though showing signs of improvement a couple of years later. I used to marvel
(read: sob uncontrollably with frustration) at babies in coffee shops who just lay gurgling in a pram while their parents chatted over a muffin.

I think this a caveat emptor situation

@OhToBeASeahorse

Thanks everyone. Some lovely thoughts but no exchange address...

Well you usually return them to the same place they came from...

"We don't know if he is so chilled out because we are so chilled out or vice versa."

Said shortly before a very horrific, violent incident that happened only in my head.

@SummerHouse I'd forgotten rage inducing comments like that.

Someone told.me yesterday that i was making a rod for.my own back.

8 months in and mine will only sleep in the sling or (moving) pram. 4th trimester...

It’s pot luck I’m afraid. My first one was like that. So I had another one. She’s nearly 2 now and absolutely wonderful, but the early years nearly finished me.

Have you tried telling her all of this?
I mean, you can't just expect her to know what's expected of her until you've asked politely.

I ask my toddler to sleep through every night, I'm close to begging her.

The "rod for your own back" people can piss off. I always want to take the rod and smack them with it. Judgey arseholes.

I regret ordering one like you describe, spent so long choosing the right baby behaviours that I failed to consider the teenage ones.

Don't worry!

I had one of those models first time round and my second one showed similar defects in the initial cooling off period, BUT she was sleeping from midnight - 7am by about 8 weeks and would fall asleep in her Moses basket BY HERSELF. I did nothing differently.

I had previously believed that these creatures were mythical.