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Original poster

Where does one get one of those babies..

115 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 20/10/2020 13:44

... that have a feed, burp, lie down in the pram and fall asleep?

My first one didnt come from that variety. I ordered one for my 2nd. She is only small (10 days) but at the moment she essentially feeds ALL THE TIME and then needs to be rocked to sleep in the sling.

Does anyone know if I can exchange? The 1st one nearly killed me. I dont know if I can do this again.

OP posts:

Xuli · 20/10/2020 14:09

@TikTakTikTak

Have you tried telling her all of this? I mean, you can't just expect her to know what's expected of her until you've asked politely.

I ask my toddler to sleep through every night, I'm close to begging her.

So sorry OP. We were very fortunate and got a good batch with ours but 9 years old the eldest is starting to develop some obvious faults re sleep, answering back, and an extreme malfunction on their listening skills, so I'd be interested in that return address too...

ForeverRedSkinhead · 20/10/2020 14:09

I've heard the rod for your own back comments too. I guess if you've not been there then people just don't get that leaving a baby like yours to self settle will only result in having to cope with an over tired screamer.

StayClosePooky · 20/10/2020 14:10

Mine is also broken. I wish I'd taken out the warranty but looks like I'm stuck with her now

nailsathome · 20/10/2020 14:10

I had one of those with dd1. I stupidly assumed I'd be sent the same when I had my son. I was very wrong.

Partidgeinpeartree · 20/10/2020 14:10

Apparently, when you look back in 60 years from now, they will have been the best, most calm babies ever. If I´m to believe my mother who keeps telling me that we (me and my brothers) never cried and slept through at 2 weeks and only ate 3 times a day (while secretly implying that mine must be faulty).

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 20/10/2020 14:11

@TikTakTikTak yes we had a chat last night about hourly feeding. She looked at me and I really felt we got each other.

Then she filled her nappy.

OP posts:

Sunnydaysstillhere · 20/10/2020 14:12

Wash at 30 degrees.
The lull of the tumble drier will then send her to sleep....
*just joking before I am lynched..

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 20/10/2020 14:13

My Granny was big on the "making a rod for your own back" comments. As was my auntie. Granny has 5 children who are all very low contact with her, and auntie never had any dc.

Based on that alone I ignored those comments!

Pythonesque · 20/10/2020 14:13

Good luck (and congratulations). My 2nd was indeed one of those put-down-and-will-sleep babies as far as I recall. Certainly by comparison with the first at any rate! Would also, as a toddler/pre-schooler, put himself to bed if something out of the ordinary meant bedtime wasn't happening when he needed it!! (rare occasions but memorable! Where's X? Oh he's asleep in bed / fallen asleep in the corner)

I don't think we saw this pattern in the very first weeks, not to recognise at any rate.

BikeRunSki · 20/10/2020 14:13

Does anyone know if I can exchange?

At Baby Changing of course. Available in all large supermarkets

madcatladyforever · 20/10/2020 14:14

Mine was one of those miracle babies that fed and slept and slept all the way through very early on from 6 weeks but it was no better - I'd lie awake at night thinking he had brain damage or learning difficulties because surely no normal baby behaved like this. As it turned out he is perfectly ok and has a degree.
I didn't dare risk another one - it would have been monstrous.

QuentinWinters · 20/10/2020 14:14

Well. I had one of the variety you were looking for, but unfortunately he came with "early movement" setting, no "I might lose my mum" automatic shutdown and an over sensitive "on" button. So we got good sleep but totally terrifying and exhausting awake times.

5lilducks · 20/10/2020 14:14

They count as "personalised items" as they have your DNA etc..so can't exchange 🤷

bluebearss · 20/10/2020 14:15

Have you tried sleeping when the baby's sleeping? 😁

namechangefail2020 · 20/10/2020 14:15

Is it the law for someone to say google the 4th trimester??? 😂😂😂😂!! We all know about that, we still moan! Hoping your post was a joke!

PhoneAddict · 20/10/2020 14:17

I remember when DD1 was born. I took her into work to show her off at 12 days old and one of the ladies told me sagely that they sleep through at 10 weeks.

And I believed her.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Longdistance · 20/10/2020 14:19

Whilst walking past the local maternity unit last year I told dd11 that’s where she was born. I said it wasn’t too late for her to go back and I can get a refund, she piped up ‘goody, I can get a better mother!’ Hmm, I wonder where she got her smart mouth from?

Hardbackwriter · 20/10/2020 14:20

I had one of those two. In my experience what's really, really helpful is when one person tells you that theirs slept so well because they were so relaxed and just went with the flow and then someone else tells you that theirs slept so well because they 'prioritised routine' (I don't even know what that means). Ideally in the same conversation.

In a pleasing piece of schadenfreude, though, the most smug mother of a baby I knew, the one who was most convinced that her child's excellent sleeping, eating, etc was a direct reflection of her own superlative mothering, is currently being driven to distraction because said child is now a toddler who tantrums constantly, except when his mother is occupied by biting other children (and adults). Weirdly she isn't so sure that it's all nurture no nature now?

Hardbackwriter · 20/10/2020 14:21

*one of those TOO. The sleep deprivation had a long-term impact on my literacy levels

SingingSands · 20/10/2020 14:21

My DS has been stuck in the fourth trimester for 12 years. Definitely faulty.

ZooKeeper19 · 20/10/2020 14:22

@OhToBeASeahorse ah this. I never heard the end of my mum saying both me and my brother slept through the night from day 1. In addition my brother never cried.

I just decided to file this info under "legends and myths" same as bigfoot, unicorns and Santa.

You are very brave to go for 2nd with the 1st one not being according to the baby magazines and photo books!

I think you can always try selling it on Etsy, I mean it's hand-made and all...

HavelockVetinari · 20/10/2020 14:22

@PhoneAddict

I remember when DD1 was born. I took her into work to show her off at 12 days old and one of the ladies told me sagely that they sleep through at 10 weeks.

And I believed her.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Ha, I believed the baby books when they told me that the baby will stop being nocturnal at 6 weeks. Did it fuck.

Hardbackwriter · 20/10/2020 14:23

*except when his MOUTH is occupied by biting other children!

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me

ForeverRedSkinhead · 20/10/2020 14:23

@PhoneAddict annoying my eldest did sleep through at 10 weeks. My second at 4 years...My third is 2 and started to sleep through before his back teeth began to cut. Now he's up twice a night most nights.

Must be my fault though as I wasn't 'chilled' enough/made a rod for my own back/didn't pop him in a sling or something.

Ylvamoon · 20/10/2020 14:24

I got my first from the Perfect Baby Shop - All Mammals Catered for!
Sadly they were shut down by some Animals against Humans organisation.

So I got a faulty one 2nd time round from the Bog Standard Baby Sop...

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