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Original poster

Where does one get one of those babies..

115 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 20/10/2020 13:44

... that have a feed, burp, lie down in the pram and fall asleep?

My first one didnt come from that variety. I ordered one for my 2nd. She is only small (10 days) but at the moment she essentially feeds ALL THE TIME and then needs to be rocked to sleep in the sling.

Does anyone know if I can exchange? The 1st one nearly killed me. I dont know if I can do this again.

OP posts:
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 20/10/2020 14:26

beepbeepsheep my 3rd could microsleep anywhere but he only microslept - no long stretches at night. I think he's part cat. He also climbed apparently unclimbable virtual surfaces before he could walk, supporting the cat theory...

Be careful what you wish for Grin

noscoobydoodle · 20/10/2020 14:26

I had a fully functioning model- slept 12 hours a night from 12 weeks. Slept in the car and pram - cheerful little soul. So I ordered another, just the same, but this one was faulty. Has slept through a handful of times in 5.5 years, hated the car and pram. Tried to exchange but she was sold as seen and no returns or exchanges. Decided to order a third last year and can confirm he is also in full working order just like the first. Number 2 definitely a faulty batch!

Mylittlepony374 · 20/10/2020 14:28

My 2 year olds still living out his 4th trimester.

Amrythings · 20/10/2020 14:29

@beepbeepsheep

What I want to know is where do you get those ones who fall asleep in the high chair, on the sofa, etc? I've seen photos of them on social media so they must exist somewhere. I'd like one of those.
Oh I have one of those! It's hilarious and adorable. What nobody mentions is that this adorable passing out occurs because he's got up at five, refused point blank to nap in favour of a second lunch and is now incapable of holding his head up any more, but will, still, somehow, find the energy to scream blue murder if you try to extract him.

Generally a great wee dude but Christ, I don't remember ordering the energiser bunny add on. Or the 3am screech owl either.

Monkeymilkshake · 20/10/2020 14:31

Mine was faulty too. Didnt sleep through the night till 18 months. She would fall asleep in the pram, but one had to walk for at least 1 hour before such miracle happened AND she would wake up like a demon as soon as you approached the house. Probably some faulty wires somewhere.
I'd like to know where you find the "drowsy but awake" babies that then go to sleep. Not wake up screaming as soon as their tiny bodies caress the bedsheets! Where do they live???

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 20/10/2020 14:31

It seems to me that there is a big issue about full specifications not being available before purchase.

I'll get a lawyer on to it. Right after I've managed to wee and bathe my poor perineum. Ih and given myself the Fragmin injection.

OP posts:
mopphead · 20/10/2020 14:35

If you make it to week 6 the fault can sometimes be reminded by purchasing an add on: the dummy.

Although fast forward a year and the new fault of chucking the dummy out of the cot and screaming for you develops. Ah, to be back in time and be that mum sipping coffee and using both hands to eat while baby sleeps in pram... Now mine wakes up 3-4 times a night while my friends who had less obliging new borns sleep the night away...

saywhatwhatnow · 20/10/2020 14:37

My first was faulty for a fair while. Can still be a bit temperamental now 2.5 years in. My second (surprise baby) is as you describe though, luckily or they could've both ended up in the bin.

JenniferSantoro · 20/10/2020 14:38

My baby got more faulty the older he got. The teenage years were particularly faulty but her guarantee had run out by then.

Mylittlesandwich · 20/10/2020 14:43

I was one of those babies. The one who just fell asleep where she was. Didn't need rocked to sleep. There's photographic evidence. If I was tired while I was playing I'd just snuggle into a toy or something and nod off.

This came from me being premature and the advice at the time was that I couldn't be held extensively because I didn't have the strength. If I was cuddled by everyone I'd be too tired to feed and I was only wee. In addition mum was worried she'd hurt me.

When my little sister was born she was the most hugged infant on the planet.

FatCatThinCat · 20/10/2020 14:43

I wish I knew. When I was pregnant with DD everyone told me to sleep when the baby sleeps. I'm still waiting for her to sleep longer than 5 minutes and she's 27 now.

ChristmasDeliverySlots · 20/10/2020 14:45

My first subscribed to the ultra maintenance baby package before being born too

Everyone insisted it was my own fault, rods and all that, but it started on day 1. The other mums on the ward seemed to sleep and then tend to their babies from time to time, I couldn't put mine down ever from ten minutes after giving birth or she woke the ward, the ward next door and probably the next nearest hospital in the neighbourhood too. So I had to hold her all night and mumsnet and thankfully have a quick nap when visiting hours started next day and DH could hold her. No visiting hours now and my next is due imminently - who knows what's in store!

Give the whole rod thing I assume I was meant to start sleep training her that first night, maybe that's what the other mums managed to achieve in the hour or so before being transferred to maternity and I just missed the boat?

She did eventually sleep through at 2.5

formerbabe · 20/10/2020 14:45

My ds was the perfect textbook baby. I used to feel genuinely confused at baby groups when other mums said it was tough. He's twelve now. I'm not laughing anymore.

ginnybag · 20/10/2020 14:49

I think the problem with a return, is it has to be returned in the original, undamaged packaging.....

Bellesavage · 20/10/2020 14:53

I've had two non sleepers, first didn't sleep through until 4. Second one is now over a year and still waking up 4 times a night. Both very high maintenance in the day too and barely nap unless taken out for hours in a pram and no they're not overtired, theyre just annoying!

Both pretty sparky though so when I'm able to force my eyelids open and not at work they are quite enjoyable

LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 20/10/2020 14:53

Ah, the elusive "drowsy but awake". Rarer than dodo poo.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 20/10/2020 15:00

I’ve had two of the kind you desire (I know, sorry). I would exchange them but they’re nearly 17 and 18 now and, alas, I don’t think they’d fit in your sling.

Tyrannynormus · 20/10/2020 15:01

I had one of those, I was very smug. Then she started walking at 9 month and wiped that smug look right off my face. Self preservation/concept of danger settings are completely missing. Tantrum seems to be stuck on full all the time. Seemingly has no understanding of voice commands, especially no. The first 8 months were wonderful but for the last 14 months I have often wondered if I am on some sort of weird hidden camera show where people write in what sort of shit show they want me to encounter that day and see how long it takes me to completely lose my shit (usually by 7am, 45mins after she has woken up).

LilaButterfly · 20/10/2020 15:26

I can make those babies! 🙋🏻‍♀️
At least DC1 was like that.. DC2 was the opposite.
Still a 50% chance!

Hardbackwriter · 20/10/2020 15:28

The health visitor told me that bad sleepers usually turn out to be more intelligent. I think that's absolute bollocks that she said to cheer me up BUT it worked a bit, so I pass it onto you!

Somethingvague · 20/10/2020 15:40

My twin nephews always fell asleep anywhere at anytime, slept through consistently from 4 months, never tantrumed. My Ds arrived fought every nap from birth, screamed like he was being tortured at the drop of a hat and didn't sleep through until gone 1. Somehow my MIL remains convinced when she has him that 'he will sleep of he's tired' and is then confused when she looks after him and this never happens.

My DD is 6 weeks old. Judgement remains in the balance.

BogRollBOGOF · 20/10/2020 15:50

@Hardbackwriter

The health visitor told me that bad sleepers usually turn out to be more intelligent. I think that's absolute bollocks that she said to cheer me up BUT it worked a bit, so I pass it onto you!
I'll cling on to that. We're now on to whale song, weighted blankets and dire warnings about access to Minecraft.

I try to sleep while baby is sleeping but sometimes I have to concede that I need the head start and leave them chuntering to themselves.

I have Boy2010 and Boy2013 models. Boy2013 has turbo upgrade and bounces like Tigger.

KillZill · 20/10/2020 15:52

My sympathies OP, I got a BOGOF offer and they don't offer exchanges on anything bought when on promotion.

I still want to lynch the woman at work, who said DTs at 4 months old shouldn't be waking in the night for feeds. Try telling them that 😡

bathorshower · 20/10/2020 15:53

I had one who could fall asleep anywhere quiet - on the sofa, on the floor, on the landing.

However quiet was key - someone mentioned the lucky ones being able to eat at a cafe with both hands. I couldn't use either, as I was outside with DD - indoor public places were just too much for her; she'd scream continually until we left. I didn't go out much.

And while she'd fall asleep during the day fairly easily, she didn't sleep through the night until she was four, four years old (and at school).

Bellesavage · 20/10/2020 16:12

@KillZill

My sympathies OP, I got a BOGOF offer and they don't offer exchanges on anything bought when on promotion.

I still want to lynch the woman at work, who said DTs at 4 months old shouldn't be waking in the night for feeds. Try telling them that 😡

Ah the old "shouldnt be"

And yet, and yet