Can a man fall in love with an ugly woman?

[BeMoreGenerally]

Do you think?

@netstaller

There's plenty of ugly men too OP...

Just read your top post when I posted - I'm sure you're not ugly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I always liked the Roald Dhal quote "A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely"

Exactly, beauty is subjective. My DH fancies celebs, etc that I would not call pretty at all but the women I think are beautiful he does not notice at all.

"Ugly" in physical terms is subjective.

It isn't. As a pp said, there are degrees of subjectivity but broadly speaking there are physical characteristics that humans find attractive and physical characteristics that humans find repellent.

If I searched for random pictures on the internet and posted 9 of attractive women and one of an ugly woman, it would be very obvious which one was the ugly woman.

Yes, there are 'tactful' cliches such as the Dahl shite and 'you have a lovely smile' or 'you have a kind face' but none of that changes anything if you fall in the ugly camp.

However things do get better when you hit middle age because you become invisible, and you see the faces of your attractive contemporaries start to sag, wrinkle and droop, so things level down a bit.

If you rate people from photos from 1 to 10 on their physical appearance most couples are partnered with someone who is within a point or 2 of their partner's rating. There are exceptions of course but mostly. Anyway yes. Men fall in love with women who are on lower points all the time and attraction is not just based on physical appearance.

• their own rating.

If you love someone you don’t find them ugly, no matter what anyone else thinks.

We watch 600 lb life a lot...
Most of the 600 lb women have partners who seem to love them
So 600 lb+ isn't "too ugly" to those partners

Speaking of subjective, I've always thought sarah jessica parker is obviously hideous. Yet she has done very well professionally. So obviously again, not "too ugly" for most people. Been married to a same guy > 20 yrs & he's no dog at all.

Fat and ugly aren't the same thing, though.

I agree many people find fat unattractive, but a person who is pretty and fat can lose weight and then be just pretty.

If you're ugly it doesn't matter what you weigh.

My OH did 😅

Yes, the Roald Dahl quote is patronising claptrap at best.
If, like me, you're a person, who has been called 'ugly' by strangers, what does that quote tell you - you're the way you are because you have 'ugly thoughts' - thanks, Roald.

I agree

The person who told you this is an ugly person, every one of us is beautiful in are own way, say that to yourself and smile, everyone looks more radiant when they smile

Also completely agree with what Pelleas has said!! (Thank you, very well put):

There are degrees of subjectivity but broadly speaking there are physical characteristics that humans find attractive and physical characteristics that humans find repellent.

If I searched for random pictures on the internet and posted 9 of attractive women and one of an ugly woman, it would be very obvious which one was the ugly woman.

As an ugly person I am fed up of hearing cliche lies about “it’s all subjective/ everyone is beautiful/ no one is ugly unless their personality is”

I think people tend to gravitate to those on a similar level in looks.

So a man who is a '5/6' probably knows he can't get a woman who's a '8/9' (unless he's rich of course). So he is naturally drawn more towards women who could also be considered a 5/6, or maybe a 7 if he's lucky.

It’s so sad that someone called you ugly op but it’s also really sad that you listened.
I think it says more about the person saying it than it does about you.

Someone can be conventionally ugly and still be attractive IMO. I met someone yesterday who doesn't conform to conventional ideals of physical beauty but had the most amazing voice and was really funny. I found that person to be extremely attractive.

Also to the people saying personality is more important. To an extent yes of course - don’t think many people would be interested in dating someone cruel.

However, even when attractive people commit crime (we can presume they don’t have the best personality then) it doesn’t stop them from being physically attractive in appearance. An example from the top of my head is that mugshot of Jeremy Meeks, no one cared about the crime he committed and he later secures a modelling contract

Also, there is scientific research to suggest a concept known as the ‘halo effect’ exists whereby if two people exhibit similar behaviour we are still biased towards the physically more attractive person. It’s subconscious

“An example of the horn effect may be that an observer is more likely to assume a physically unattractive person is morally inferior to an attractive person, despite the lack of relationship between morality and physical appearance.”
^ taken from an academic journal of social psychology... but apparently ugly people (in appearance alone) don’t exist / it’s all about personality / everyone’s beautiful etc

As a physically unattractive person, you’re denying my lived experiences

I’m ugly. I don’t think I used to be so much but definitely am now. I’ve been married over 20 years and I hope my husband loves me

As an ugly person I am fed up of hearing cliche lies about “it’s all subjective/ everyone is beautiful/ no one is ugly unless their personality is”

I'm not very pretty either, never have been. However I can honestly say I have only once in my life looked at someone and thought they were actually ugly. Most people are nondescript, not actually hideous.

I really hate people describing themselves as ugly. I never see ugly people. People are of varying levels of attractiveness obviously but actually ugly, no, I don't see that. Most people are pretty average.

Most people are pretty average. that, I will agree with you on. Also, women tend to be a lot harder on themselves - majority are average or above

It’s rarer to see someone who is physically ugly in appearance, but in my experience they still exist

@WINDOLENE

Depends on what is perceived as ugly. Many pretty people are complete bitches, there's nothing attractive in that. Men are less critical about looks etc. Happy with good, sex, telly and sport

That's a nasty comment there.

I agree. Ugly is an awful word and should never be used to describe a person. Anyone commenting on a characteristic a person cannot help - particularly to their face to cause upset - has an ugly soul themselves and is to be pitied and avoided

Beauty is fleeting, but good bone structure endures. It's not always true that age is a leveller.
I read somewhere that most people are attracted to people who look similar to themselves. A lot of my friends are married to men that look like their fathers or brothers, maybe just the shape of their smile, or eyes.

@MsTSwift

Haven’t read the thread but do hope someone hasn’t posted that dreadful Ronald Dahl quote 🙄.

Ha! I thought that!