Can a man fall in love with an ugly woman?

[BeMoreGenerally]

Do you think?

My autocorrect changed Roald to Ronald too.

I also like the Dahl quote.

And OP, your posts have made me so sad. Whoever said that to you, get them out of your life.

Yes, but define 'ugly'. What one person finds ugly is different to another, and vice versa. Otherwise we would all find the same people attractive.. which we don't!

Glad it's not just me that despises that nonsense.

Yes, the Roald Dahl quote is patronising claptrap at best.

If, like me, you're a person, who has been called 'ugly' by strangers, what does that quote tell you - you're the way you are because you have 'ugly thoughts' - thanks, Roald.

Roald Dahl was a talented and funny writer (mostly) but he was a raving misogynist.

My dh isnt classically good looking. However, I'm still smitten by him 20 years later and my heart still skips a little beat when he walks into the room.

Yes, obviously. You don't see only beautiful couples hanging around do you... there's a shoe for every foot.

Realistically less attractive people probably won't have strangers approaching them, but that's not neccessarily a bad thing (although it might not feel it to a young person)! Connection and attraction is based on more than looks.

People are terrible at judging their own attractiveness, anyhow. Most people are hard on themselves and don't see what others see, not to mention attractiveness is purely subjective.

Realistically less attractive people probably won't have strangers approaching them

It does happen occasionally, but they tend to be down-and-out or alcoholics who think that because you're so hideous you'll be grateful for anything and they might be in with a chance.

@Pelleas

Glad it's not just me that despises that nonsense.

Yes, the Roald Dahl quote is patronising claptrap at best.

If, like me, you're a person, who has been called 'ugly' by strangers, what does that quote tell you - you're the way you are because you have 'ugly thoughts' - thanks, Roald.

Roald Dahl was a talented and funny writer (mostly) but he was a raving misogynist.

Absolutely.

I actually quite like the Dahl quote because I truly think anyone can be attractive, even if they do have unusual features. Similarly, I think typically beautiful people can appear unattractive if they are horrible or unkind.

I don’t think it’s twee at all, of course there are people who are only interested in having a classically beautiful partner to show off, but there are plenty of people who are looking for something deeper.

Well lots of people arent classified as "beautiful" in a Jennifer Lawrence kind of way but still seem to find boyfriends ,lovers.husbands dont they?Also how many men are classically "handsome" either?! Many middle aged men have beer bellies, and look as if they have deliberately chosen the wrong clothes to show it off!(Never a good look!)YABU!

My mum and dad met at 12, same age. Married at 18 and had 3 kids. Split up 12/13 years ago when they were 50.

My dad got married again to a woman a few months older than him in 2014 and my mum got married to a man a few months younger than her in 2019.

Both have never been happier. It can and does happen.

Op I don’t know you of course but you are not ugly. Ugly is a state of mind. Concentrate on your good parts as we all have them. Make the most of whatever god gave you. You will be an absolute stunner to the right one

Another comment that comes up repeatedly is the nonsensical "define ugly anyway!"
As if it were all subjective. It's a little subjective. Ie where exactly you would place somebody onna scale is subjective. But studies show that we know what beauty is. Mostly symatery but big eyes, great teeth. Whether the person is from Asia, europe, africa, south america.... we do largely agree on what makes a face beautiful (or not).

It is sad to see so many people willfully trotting out clichés. Accept things as they are. Being "ugly" is one label. You can decide to label yourself "healthy" and "free" and "secure" and "optimistic" and "curious".
It doesnt make you beautiful to strangers. But it will take the sting out of being invisible.

Divide all of the things you want out of life in to two columns. One list is the things that being plain or old will not prevent you from experiencing. One list, experiences that you will need beauty to experience. The second list is much shorter.

Depends on what is perceived as ugly. Many pretty people are complete bitches, there's nothing attractive in that. Men are less critical about looks etc. Happy with good, sex, telly and sport

Food, sex... Though good sex is better than bad

I fell very hard for a chap a few years ago and was crazy about him. He was the most beautiful, handsome man I ever met. I introduced him to my friend who was astonished. To her he was quite short, overweight and greying. But his eyes, I said, his smile, his beautiful brown eyes and that way he looks at you like you’re the most important person in the room. Didn’t notice, she said.

The number of women who claim on here to have gorgeous husbands, whilst they are very average, are like this I believe.

It's not that often you see men, certainly over 35, that are 'drop-dead gorgeous', but plenty of women on Mumsnet think they are living with an Adonis, and that other women must wonder how they managed to bag him, when in reality he's probably an averagely attractive man who's not ageing too badly.

I read something that said working it out on computers and whathaveyou that the most conventionally attractive person in the world is Amber Heard

Man are visual and will always initially be drawn to looks/ body, but that doesn’t always result in love.

@user1471565182

I read something that said working it out on computers and whathaveyou that the most conventionally attractive person in the world is Amber Heard

And even without the turbulent personal life, which I’m sure is your point, even she doesn’t have the same nose and mouth she started with.

You can be ugly to yourself but beautiful to someone else. What's one mans trash is another mans treasure as the saying goes. A lot of my friends who I would consider average to not that great looking have very attractive husbands. If you depend on looks then the relationship is over before it even started.

I don't know about love, but they can certainly fancy a shag. Even (perhaps especially) young-ish men. Mid thirties to mid forties. Pre-pandemic, of course.

"Ugly" in physical terms is subjective.
Ugly personality- well, all kinds of horrible people find "love".

I totally get the frustration one gets when being single. But how many people have you actually met in your life that you thought you would have loved to be in a relationship with?
There have honestly not been many people I thought would be a good match for a partnership/ relationship with me.
Regarding beauty, firstly, I think when you are struggling to find a partner it's easy to assign it far too much importance.
Secondly, as a woman you can transform your entire looks with makeup if you so wish.
Thirdly, beauty is of no help once you get to know a person. You either like each other enough or you don't.
I think Joey Essex is a very good looking person but his persona (real or not) is not something I would ever learn to love. As a friend yes, as a partner no.

There's plenty of ugly men too OP...

Totally agree that personality makes a difference.
One can give the example of the ‘Love Island’ tv show. There are some men and women that when you first see them are gorgeous looking . However, as the series progresses they become less attractive and in some cases bordering on unattractive because of their horrible personalities.
There are others, who are average looking , but become more beautiful as the series progresses because they are wonderful people with great personalities .