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Original poster

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

388 replies

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 13/10/2020 21:18

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van? Confused

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Dillydallyingthrough · 14/10/2020 11:36

I think you did the right thing OP, but I agree it sounds as if he has a LD, and hopefully he has a support worker that can use the messages to improve his interactions with customers. My DPs used to have a window cleaner with LDs, and some of the messages would have been too ambiguous for him. My mom would send messages like, 'do not message again until 1 week before you come' or 'you did a good job, do not message again until X'. He was lovely and they often made him lunch and talked about things he was struggling with. My parents would try to offer advise and coach him in what he could say, etc.. BUT that was my parents choice and they are retired so had lots of time and never felt threatened. My DD had also been diagnosed with ASD and I think my DM thought what if this was her in the future. He sadly passed away after a very short illness, his DM said our road was his only regular round as most people found him too full on and understood they didn't want to feel like that in their own home. My DPs have a new window cleaner who is very professional and all messages/bills are sent automatically, he says a very quick 'hello' and is straight on with it, I know my DM still misses the old one.

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 11:38

@RedWine123

Quite sweet really
🙄
Mc2b · 14/10/2020 11:40

@RedWine123

Quite sweet really
Ignoring the OPs messages saying to stop and continuing through the night, very sweet Hmm
DeliciouslyFemale · 14/10/2020 11:40

Your parents sound like absolutely lovely people, Dillydallyingthrough and that poor man was very lucky that they weren’t narrow minded ignorant bigots, like so many. I’m sure he thought the world of them.

Colycola · 14/10/2020 11:45

Oh and my sister in law once had someone over to fix her plumbing and he masturbated into a pair of her dirty knickers in the wash basket. Again she was too frightened to do anything about it.

CremantCharlie · 14/10/2020 11:48

Wow, not sweet, just creepy.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 14/10/2020 11:52

Have the people saying this is sweet or LD actually read the texts?

He said 'I'M A GOOD BOY AREN'T I' (my caps)

You wouldn't put up with this shit yourself so don't guilt trip another woman online to out up.

Original poster
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 14/10/2020 11:56

I don't think that I've been disablist, horrible or bigoted so I hope none of those comments were aimed at me.

OP posts:
bibbitybobbitycats · 14/10/2020 11:58

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant

I don't think that I've been disablist, horrible or bigoted so I hope none of those comments were aimed at me.
You haven't. This thread has taken a very strange turn.
IntentIntel · 14/10/2020 12:07

The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van?

Not sure what he meant Confused

supersky · 14/10/2020 12:08

I think you handled the situation in the right way OP. Having a LD doesn't automatically mean he wouldn't understand he was being innapropriate or make his behaviour acceptable. Of course there's the possibility he does have one and has an issue understanding boundaries but even then being told it's not appropriate may help him understand

loobyloo1234 · 14/10/2020 12:17

I just see someone who is trying to set up a new business and isn’t very confident tbh.

"I wz a good boy for you"

Pls do me a favour

DownThePlath · 14/10/2020 12:21

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant

I don't think that I've been disablist, horrible or bigoted so I hope none of those comments were aimed at me.
You haven't been. You've done what is right for you.
QuimReaper · 14/10/2020 12:31

Blimey OP, this is bizarre! Glad you seem to have got through to him. FWIW I think he probably is harmless, and you needn't worry about him now.

Like other posters, I do despair at some of the responses you've had here.

Could the other posters asking OP to be patiently accommodating in their every encounter with the male species even when they constitute harassment please tell me how they evaluate the chances that this man is sending similar messages to male clients?

RunningFromInsanity · 14/10/2020 12:34

From about page 6 it’s clear those commenting ‘LD’ or ‘its sweet’ etc haven’t RTFT and seen the last messages.

DeliciouslyFemale · 14/10/2020 12:36

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant

I don't think that I've been disablist, horrible or bigoted so I hope none of those comments were aimed at me.
No, absolutely not. You’ve been very kind and patient and I said earlier, you have to put your own feelings of safety first. No woman needs or should deal with anyone they don’t want to. That’s the most important thing. The obviously bigoted posters are very easy to see.
Marmalade414 · 14/10/2020 12:44

How weird. I wonder why he's being like that.

12309845653ghydrvj · 14/10/2020 12:45

OP I think you have handled this in an extremely classy way, you have been kind and clear. I was one of the early posters at the early stage of the thread arguing for him likely having LD and clear but kind being the best way. Obviously having read your updates his behaviour has massively escalated, and you have shut him off in a clear, polite way that will be helpful for him while protecting yourself.

Hopefully he will have someone in his life as a support who he will show these messages it, who can talk him through what went wrong. It sounds like this was possibly his first time trying going solo, and he’s not ready for that yet—someone will need to accompany him and talk him through how to act.

The messages are definitely very scary to be at the receiving end of, but I don’t see anything there that suggests they are sexual—I can entirely see how a lad with LD given the following instructions could end up here: “make sure you’re a good boy for the nice lady, good customer service by asking her after if you did a good job. Ask if you can do them again in December and check she’s happy with everything you did.”

This will hopefully be a learning experience for him, and his support team may need to go back a few steps and work on some basics. I’m sorry you experienced this, but your behaviour has been perfect and it is quite right for you now to have firm boundaries.

IncandescentSilver · 14/10/2020 12:47

Hmmn, I'm cynical because I'm a lawyer and have seen too much of this before. To me, I'd be suspicious he is using the "sympathy" angle he expects you to have for him in order to push the boundaries about multiple texting, which he knows is inappropriate.

Just because he might have learning difficulties (and equally he might not!), doesn't mean he is nice and "sweet".

Some men running their own businesses, and therefore not likely to be disciplined or sacked by a manager for inappropriate contact use them as a means of contacting women. I was still being contacted by a carpet fitter 8 years after buying a carpet from his business, asking to meet up!

12309845653ghydrvj · 14/10/2020 12:48

Also some posts on this thread about people who act weird or odd needing to be avoided in general—this is disgusting. Weird or odd people with LD who are trying to learn how to operate in the the world need our support, and us the least we can do. Yes have firm boundaries, 100% keep yourself safe, but some of these comments are disgusting and prejudiced. The terrible experiences people with LD have with people like you is a big part of why they struggle in the world.

EasyMoneyOnline · 14/10/2020 12:57

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Bowerbird5 · 14/10/2020 12:58

Yep we are all different. I would never think of giving a window cleaner my number. He just turned up washed them left if I wasn’t in I paid them next time.
He had a row with the woman next door well she had the row with him now he won’t come to me in case he sees her.
She frightened DH and he doesn’t frighten easily.🤣

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 13:05

@fromdownwest

'Weird' 'odd' 'mad' 'creepy' 'forest gump' are all descriptions used in this thread.

These are offensive and disabilist regardless of whatever is wrong with this man.

userxx · 14/10/2020 13:08

WTF!!! How utterly bizarre, when it’s in your own home it unnerves you. I once had a guy trying to flog something on the doorstep, I politely declined and he then asked me to buy a new front door as he would be able to break into my house in 30 seconds - fucking weird!!

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 13:10

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