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Original poster

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

388 replies

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 13/10/2020 21:18

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van? Confused

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.
OP posts:
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12
12309845653ghydrvj · 14/10/2020 13:11

@rosiethehen

👏🏻

VodselForDinner · 14/10/2020 13:12

I’m amazed at the number of women here who have a default “let’s look at all the ways a man is not accountable for his behaviour” approach to this issue.

OP, you handled this very well. Your only concern should be protecting yourself.

Absolutely, if you feel someone has some form of disability it’s kind of you to take a gentler tone as you have done, but it’s not your job to take harassment or abuse from men on the off-chance that they’re disabled.

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 13:31

[quote rosiethehen]@fromdownwest

'Weird' 'odd' 'mad' 'creepy' 'forest gump' are all descriptions used in this thread.

These are offensive and disabilist regardless of whatever is wrong with this man. [/quote]
Stop policing language.
It's just bollocks anyway as all the people frothing away on their pc wouldn't put up with what happened to the OP. Also she was nice but firm to him and presumably he's not reading this.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 14/10/2020 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

queenofknives · 14/10/2020 13:33

It's not disablist to call someone 'creepy' if their behaviour is creepy ffs! It's not racist, either, but thanks for regaling us with examples of racist abuse in case we don't know what that looks like. We don't even know if the guy has learning difficulties - that was just speculation by people inclined to feel sorry for him.

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 13:34

You can call out creepy behaviour without using offensive terms.

Policing language? Yeah, some terms are offensive and downright should not be used.

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 13:35

You can call out creepy behaviour without using offensive terms

What, like "creepy behaviour"?

Marisishidinginmyattic · 14/10/2020 13:35

Describing someone’s behaviour as odd, weird or creepy is not offensive or disablist to people with LD. It’s quite possible to be disabled and behave in weird, odd or creepy ways, you know? I think it’s more offensive how some people on this thread are trying to infantalise adults with LD.

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 13:36

I think it's more creepy that some people want to insist that women shouldn't have boundaries.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 14/10/2020 13:36

@rosiethehen

You can call out creepy behaviour without using offensive terms.

Policing language? Yeah, some terms are offensive and downright should not be used.

Rosie, you've just said 'creepy' is 'offensive and disabilist' (sic) and then used the term yourself.

Or is only that you object to men's behavior being called creepy?

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 13:36

The words used on this thread are offensive regardless of whether this bloke is disabled, creepy, whatever.

Do you realise that people like some of our kids have had these terms used against them all their lives?

queenofknives · 14/10/2020 13:37

You can call out creepy behaviour without using offensive terms.

... like 'creepy'? Or do you mean like the racist terms you were using?

I think you're a bit confused. The only person who has used offensive terms on this thread is you. I get that it's by way of example but it's entirely unnecessary and frankly a bit creepy to try to draw an equivalence between women talking about a man's creepy behaviour and people being viciously racist.

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 13:37

This isn't about you, rosie

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 13:38

I've been creeped on myself!

Don't you comprehend that disabilist terms are offensive

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 13:38

Deliberately obtuse.

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 13:40

And the op has pissed off funnily enough.

Great bunfight everyone.

Lovely.

Princessposie · 14/10/2020 13:41

I bet he’s using those messages as a cover for something.. ie. telling a girlfriend he’s working when he isn’t Grin

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 14/10/2020 13:41

@rosiethehen

Words like odd or creepy are not synonymous with learning disability. They are not disabling words.

Some people with LD are odd or creepy.
Some people with LD are not odd or creepy.
Some people without LD are odd or creepy.
Some people without LD are not odd or creepy.

This guy has been creepy, obsessive, stalker like and odd. He may or may not have a developmental issue. It doesnt matter. It makes no difference to how his actions have been perceived. The OP does not need to "be kind" and just accept that behaviour.

We are allowed to say no, I'm not accepting that.

His mental state doesnt have anything to do with the decision the OP makes.

Is someone has LD and needs special adjustments in expectation then they need to be open and upfront about it. If they're not, then they are simply a random stranger texting all through the night. That is both creepy and odd.

queenofknives · 14/10/2020 13:41

Which disablist terms do you mean? "Creepy" "odd" and "weird" were your examples before you segued into racist terms. Yet it's okay for you to use the word 'creepy'? Why can't anyone else?

Howlooseisyourgoose · 14/10/2020 13:41

So the word 'creepy' is only acceptable when you use it, Rosie? OK.

Anyway, that's enough derailing.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 14/10/2020 13:43

@rosiethehen

And the op has pissed off funnily enough.

Great bunfight everyone.

Lovely.

She hasn't pissed off, she has dealt with the issue and told the creepy man to not to contact her anymore. What do you want her to, self-flagellate to you for having boundaries?
Doodar · 14/10/2020 13:54

You handled it very well op. Even if he does have LD you don’t have to put up with that.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/10/2020 13:56

@rosiethehen can we no longer call someone a creep if they are creepy? If I’m being harassed can I no longer tell them to fuck off in case I offend them?

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 14/10/2020 13:56

I think a sizeable proportion of men don't realise how scary women can find them. Another chunk know and don't care or get off on it.

Agree with this statement entirely OP.

Being told to be kind is why women 'allow' men to get away with horrible behaviour. The OP doesn't know if this man has an LD, nor do we, but if she feels uncomfortable or frightened she should not have to accommodate anyone 'just in case'. I think we've all dealt (or know someone who has) with people who we think are harmless but actually have turned out to be not very nice people at all who take advantage of female socialisation to push their boundaries.

Branches1 · 14/10/2020 14:00

Just like Incandescentsilver I am cynical about these things. I had builders in just before the lockdown and one of them was getting way too familiar. I was keeping busy with work so wasn't talking too much to him or his colleagues but somehow one of them kept talking about his personal life a lot - unasked - and on his last day on the job he weirdly said that he hoped our paths would cross soon again, blah blah, and how serendipitous that we had been brought together in this manner blah blah. He wanted to keep in touch he said - no thanks.

Totally strange as it must have been clear to him that my husband (and kids) lives here, even if he wasn't in, and I definitely didn't send out any signals. Just strange how often men mistake general friendliness for interest.

I can't say he was being threatening but it feels wrong when they are in your home acting like this. They also know where you live and a little about your habits so you feel forced to be nice to them even when they get the wrong idea like in this case.