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Original poster

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

388 replies

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 13/10/2020 21:18

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van? Confused

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
decoraters · 14/10/2020 10:50

@ColleagueFromMars

I'm well aware. I was referring to the poster who didn't note the difference.

Caroncanta · 14/10/2020 10:51

I suspect he does have some sort of learning disability. But he needs to understand boundaries too. I think you did the right thing by ending it. He may learn something from that. Hopefully he has some support in real life to help him manage setting boundaries / appropriate behaviour.

DancingInTheGarden · 14/10/2020 10:52

@Colycola SHIT!!! How scary. I'm sorry you were assaulted this way!

shesgonebatshitagain · 14/10/2020 10:52

That’s awful
Hope he doesn’t bother you anymore

Howlooseisyourgoose · 14/10/2020 10:52

I was just reading those first texts and thinking that doesn't sound like a learning disability, it sounds bloody creepy.

fromdownwest · 14/10/2020 10:55

@Howlooseisyourgoose - Then when he moves onto 2:15am 'I was a good boy for you wasn't I'

It takes a whole new level.

Staggered, at some people giving him a pass based on 'assumed' LD?

katnyps · 14/10/2020 10:57

It's really hard without meeting this guy in person but I'd say LD - nothing he said was "creepy", just socially awkward. I can imagine someone coaching him about getting a job and suggesting he "practice" messaging people to arrange visits (he maybe found you particularly easy to deal with). It reminds me of a story of someone coaching someone with LD about using the bus "get on, buy your ticket, find a seat next to someone else, get off at your stop". Didn't quite work when there was only one person on the bus, who got freaked out when said person kept moving to sit next to them! However you need to judge this for yourself (actually met him, your house etc. etc) - just some thoughts on a possible innocent reason for the awkwardness

VanGoghsDog · 14/10/2020 10:57

@Colycola

I had a window cleaner when I was a single parent, he came over to my house and once I asked him to see if he could quickly fix something for me and he helped me out with a couple of bits. He was very nice in the beginning, then one day when I was making him a cup of tea and my children were in the next room, he came up behind me and pressed his erection into my back. I was absolutely frozen with fear. And all I could think of is that whatever he was doing I would have to go along with it and I couldn’t make a sound so the children would not come running in. I actually apologised and said I’m sorry if I’ve given you the wrong impression. When he left I sent a message please don’t come to my house again and blocked him. Thank god it was left at that. I have never felt more stupid.
Don't feel stupid. This is totally on him.

I had a guy helping me with stuff in my house once who launched himself at me in my bedroom. I exited him from the house quickly and blocked all contact. It was totally him, not me!

VanGoghsDog · 14/10/2020 10:58

nothing he said was "creepy", just socially awkward

"I wz a good boy for you" is creepy unless he's a Labrador!

But even if each individual text isn't creepy, the constant texting is.

BillMasen · 14/10/2020 11:00

I think OPs handling was spot on. Polite at first, give him the opportunity to learn professional boundaries. Then firmer, then once he crossed a line, firmly and clearly letting him know, and why.

Yep it looks like someone with LD trying to establish a business, and good on them for that. Dealing with clients will be tricky but he was unprofessional and can’t behave like that. Hopefully there’s someone who can steer him in the right direction, but it’s not OP

katnyps · 14/10/2020 11:00

OK apologies OP I replied before seeing the additional overnight messages! That is too much - I will delete my previous message re "could be LD" :S

Alternista · 14/10/2020 11:01

It’s SO FUCKING EASY to read all the OP’s posts these days.
Drives me batshit that people still don’t bother.

TikTakTikTak · 14/10/2020 11:04

Wow. I was a support worker for people with LD. I hope he tells his support workers about it so they can steer him right. That was so far over the line.
Well done on your responses, they were all good.

wheretonow123 · 14/10/2020 11:08

Well done OP on how you handled it. I think I would have cut contact a bit further back but you had good patience and you cut contact when there was no doubt that he had crossed the line.

I normally wold be one for giving someone the benefit of the doubt and not let something affect a persons livelihood but I agree with @WhereverIGoddamnLike and inform the other neighbour who was has used him. It would be better if he didn't use him again or, at least , let you know when he is coming again and you can decide whether you want to be around when he comes next time or know not to answer the door.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 14/10/2020 11:08

He is bad, sad or mad, or possibly all three.

Cancel his services in a fortnight's time.

If he complains, tell him you have enough needy men in your life and don't need to add a window-cleaner to your collection.

Original poster
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 14/10/2020 11:13

One last message apologising and nothing since. Phew. I haven't blocked him just in case he starts up again or says he's coming to my house and I need to take it further.

I've told burly NDN about it and he also thinks it's funny! Both neighbours now know about it so help is on hand if he does show up.

@Colycola that's awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. And no, you're not stupid. The fault was all his.

I am think a sizeable proportion of men don't realise how scary women can find them. Another chunk know and don't care or get off on it.

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.
OP posts:
WhatWouldJKRDo · 14/10/2020 11:16

OP, you handled that with class.

Glitterb · 14/10/2020 11:20

I just see someone who is trying to set up a new business and isn’t very confident tbh.

Some of the replies on here are awful. So I agree with @DeliciouslyFemale

Rollergirl11 · 14/10/2020 11:21

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant how did he seem in person? Did you get any odd vibe from him?

fromdownwest · 14/10/2020 11:23

@Glitterb - Messaging a woman at 2:15 am that you have been a good boy?

That lacking confidence, or just plain weird?

UserABCDE12345 · 14/10/2020 11:26

No one here has any way of knowing if he has a LD fgs! Talk about arm chair diagnosis. Maybe he does or maybe he gets off on harrasssing women. No one knows the difference here and it was never 'sweet,' it was harrassing. All that 'I just need to practice,' nope, not buying it. Especially when followed up with the good boy comment and carrying on through the night after being told not to.

madcatladyforever · 14/10/2020 11:26

I'd be cautious. Dont reply. I once had my bathroom Tiled by this horrible creepy bloke who asked me if I'd like to pay for gigolo services as well. I told him I could pick up a better looking man than him to share on any street corner and chucked him out. His tiling was shit too.

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 11:29

@Glitterb

I just see someone who is trying to set up a new business and isn’t very confident tbh.

Some of the replies on here are awful. So I agree with @DeliciouslyFemale

That is ridiculous. Are you serious?!
madcatladyforever · 14/10/2020 11:32

Its not my job to worry about being nice to people with SN or LD its my primary job as a woman to keep myself safe.

RedWine123 · 14/10/2020 11:35

Quite sweet really