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Original poster

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

388 replies

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 13/10/2020 21:18

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van? Confused

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.
OP posts:
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12
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/10/2020 09:56

I’m so sorry for any men with LD who have to navigate the world and try to live independently, reading some of these replies

If he is Capable of apparently running his own business, then he is capable of understanding this is overstepping boundaries.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/10/2020 09:59

I'm disappointed by many of the responses here. How would you feel if this was your kid or relative?

If I thought my cjild was capable of being out and mixing with the public, running his own business, I would expect him to understand this behaviour is not ok.

Okayokayok · 14/10/2020 10:05

@WhereverIGoddamnLike I didn't see the follow up texts ive just now read them Shock thats pretty scary.

Okayokayok · 14/10/2020 10:06

@WhereverIGoddamnLike also it was the forest gump reference I was disgusted by

ChronicallyCurious · 14/10/2020 10:08

When I was younger we used to have a man who came around our estate to wash cars who had a learning disability. He had leaflets drawn up that even stated his learning disability on it. He was peculiar but he was nice, although I imagine if he hadn’t been as open about his learning disability people would not have rebooked with him as they would have probably thought nope to a lot of his quirky behaviour.

It isn’t up to OP to try and navigate him because he might have one. Some men are just weird and she shouldn’t have to put up with his behaviour just incase. Those texts are weird and frankly worrying, the good boy ones 🤮 How do we know he doesn’t just fancy her and is getting off on it? OP does he know you have a husband who lives with you?

DeliciouslyFemale · 14/10/2020 10:10

I’m sorry it has escalated for you, OP. I can completely understand why you don’t want him back, while at the same time feeling sorry for him, if he has SN. Your first responsibility is to yourself and you need to feel comfortable. In the meantime, I hope someone takes this poor man and teaches him how to navigate the world. I still think he has some sort of additional needs.

GoudaGirl · 14/10/2020 10:15

Yes- perhaps has learning difficulties or social difficulties as others say. Looks like he was just trying to get the hang of how he should plan/communicate and is really worked up. Perhaps because people have treated him harshly in the past.

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 14/10/2020 10:15

Blimey OP you’ve done the right thing, hope that’s the end of it for you.

I knew a man with LD who was very affectionate and asked for hugs and kisses, I always said no. He makes me very uncomfortable but LD is not a reason to allow him to do what he likes

LagneyandCasey · 14/10/2020 10:17

There's a guy with LD who works at a supermarket near me who does the trolleys and cleans the lifts and stairs etc. He's been there for at least 25 years as I can remember him cooing over my baby (local people will know exactly who he is). He is lovely but can sometimes hold people hostage chatting, especially if they have little dc who he loves to chat to. I've seen staff members come outside and tell him to 'let the nice lady go now' etc. I can see why someone who isn't used to him might be taken aback but the difference here is that he's supported by coworkers who keep a close eye on him. Assuming this window cleaner guy is similar - by working alone he doesn't have that kind of close support and supervision. It might not be the best job for him.

Colycola · 14/10/2020 10:23

I had a window cleaner when I was a single parent, he came over to my house and once I asked him to see if he could quickly fix something for me and he helped me out with a couple of bits. He was very nice in the beginning, then one day when I was making him a cup of tea and my children were in the next room, he came up behind me and pressed his erection into my back. I was absolutely frozen with fear. And all I could think of is that whatever he was doing I would have to go along with it and I couldn’t make a sound so the children would not come running in. I actually apologised and said I’m sorry if I’ve given you the wrong impression.
When he left I sent a message please don’t come to my house again and blocked him. Thank god it was left at that. I have never felt more stupid.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/10/2020 10:24

@GoudaGirl

Yes- perhaps has learning difficulties or social difficulties as others say. Looks like he was just trying to get the hang of how he should plan/communicate and is really worked up. Perhaps because people have treated him harshly in the past.
Have you read the full thread and the messages he spent most of the night sending?
AdoptedBumpkin · 14/10/2020 10:24

He does seem weird. Hope he is merely eccentric, not dodgy.

screentimebabe · 14/10/2020 10:25

I would have told him I'd informed the police as well!

ColleagueFromMars · 14/10/2020 10:26

@decoraters Autism is not a learning disability but autism is often accompanied by a learning disability.

It's not unusual for people who have autism to miss social clues. Like the OP texting that there is "no need" for him to reply until December - even though that is an obvious instruction to most of us, a more obvious instruction for somebody who has trouble understanding social protocols a simple "don't text me again until December"would have been clearer.

IntentIntel · 14/10/2020 10:31

OP, make sure you don't delete the messages, in case tou need them as evidence.

I really hope you won't Sad

rosiethehen · 14/10/2020 10:31

@PinkSparklyPussycat

No, of course I'm not condoning harassment, but the responses are disableist and offensive.

Dealing with the harassment can be done without being offensive.

fromdownwest · 14/10/2020 10:41

@rosiethehen - How are they disableist and offensive?

Having a learning disability does not make you exempt from not harassing someone and making them feel uncomfortable.

He was asked to stop, he didn't, he carried on, late into the night.

Sorry, but there is a line, and this was crossed.

What else would he be allowed to do, that another tradesperson would class as unacceptable?

boredinthouse · 14/10/2020 10:41

OP I just wanted to say that I think you're final message was really clear and actually quite helpful to him if he does have SN. My son is autistic and he can become fixated on things and also doubt himself a lot. I think if this was my son he'd have become so fixated on whether you thought he did a good job or not that he wouldn't necessarily have realised that by continually asking you that he was annoying you. I think that you saying he will lose customers by texting all the time might actually be helpful to him.

mummymayhem18 · 14/10/2020 10:43

God how scary for you OP. Really,really odd. Has he messaged you since your final message?

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 10:44

I bet you 100 quid he doesn't come back in December!

I agree it's odd and I wouldn't like it.

ClementineWoolysocks · 14/10/2020 10:45

So because MN has decided this guy has LD the OP should allow herself to be harassed and have her sense of personal safety threatened? Yeah, no.

BrazenlyDefying · 14/10/2020 10:45

People who use phrases like "my spidey senses were tingling" are odd.

waterlego · 14/10/2020 10:46

Colycola, that made me shudder- how awful. But absolutely not your fault and you did nothing wrong or ‘stupid’. 💐

silverbubbles · 14/10/2020 10:46

Why don't you speak to your neighbours about him?.

It might just be his way of trying to be customer focussed for a new client!!

Janevaljane · 14/10/2020 10:48

@Janevaljane

I bet you 100 quid he doesn't come back in December!

I agree it's odd and I wouldn't like it.

Missed your final message OP! You've done absolutely the right thing. What a weirdo.