Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van?

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

@Yogaroll

I'm so sorry for any men with LD who have to navigate the world and try to live independently, reading some of these replies

Completely agree. Some of the comments on her are absolutely disgusting considering it quite obvious this man has some form of SN!

Right. So what would you have OP do? Regardless of if he has a learning disability, this behaviour is not okay!

This behaviour is completely unacceptable, whether or not he has any disability. OP was scared, not without reason. It is unfortunate that he knows where you live and if he has a stalking tendency, you could well find yourself in a position where the police will have to be called. Hopefully not, but be aware.

@DeliciouslyFemale

I’m so sorry for any men with LD who have to navigate the world and try to live independently, reading some of these replies.

100% this.

I don’t understand why people give out their mobile number to random people these days.

I don’t give many people my number.

I think he seems unsure of himself so possibly learning difficulties or maybe a new phone that he isn’t sure about yet.

Oh wow. Just come across this thread, agree that there might be some LD, although the 'I was a good boy' sounds a bit sexual/wanky too! He's gone waaaay too far now and needs to be blocked with no further engagement.

Your replies are excellent though OP!

Wow, and people wonder why those with disabilities can't work.

I'm disappointed by many of the responses here. How would you feel if this was your kid or relative?

Seriously, MN! All this "aww, he could have LD, be nice, give him a chance"

Absolutely not.

It is not OP job to navigate this man, it is not her job to teach him to navigate life, she absolutely should not take a chance on anyone that makes her feel uncomfortable, its a fine line between being nice and looking after yourself.
If women didn't feel the need to be 'nice and 'understanding' all the time, then the world would be a less dangerous place for us.

It more worried me when I saw Op change of response in her messages, as a direct result of what had been said here, op didn't need to continue the dialogue and tell a grown man it was time to sleep, but "awwww he might have LD"
He might have LD, but also be quite dangerous to op and her family.... he might not, but why risk it without knowing?

Also window cleaner needs to learn that the level and type of communication is not acceptable, and he will only learn that by being shut down, blocked and ignored.

Op, you have done the right thing by ending this communication now. I would advise talking to the other neighbour that had him originally, and I agree that I would be concerned about vulnerable people who might not have the strength or the support to say no to him.

I say all this as a sister of someone with LD who works in a shop, hes had to learn how to integrate and talk to people in a safe environment, his confidence is through the roof now and hes done really well, but he did so in a safe environment, using social ques from others who knew his deal.

This is not for op, or other strangers to do.
If he cannot act appropriately he should not be working alone and dealing with members of the public without guidance.

If he is at this level of LD, he will have people working with him to help him navigate through.

Nobody should feel responsible for anyone else's behaviour, particularly not knowing the full picture. The minute anyone, male or female feels uncomfortable they have just as much right to shut it down, with kindness and understanding if possible, but with firmness and directness if needed.

Sorry; I'd somehow missed the middle pages :( I think he very definitely has LD, and I think you acted completely correctly. You gave him every chance, but he overstepped hugely, and your last text was perfect. If he does have some sort of support, hopefully they'll help him not to indulge in this really disquieting behaviour in the future.

It’s not that unusual for a window cleaner to have your number. Mine texts me so I can get the gat open for him, otherwise he cannot access the back, and sends payment reminders.

I’m wondering if he has a learning disability?

I would say this. I work with someone who is autistic and this is the type of email or text he would send.

What the actual fuck

Autism IS NOT A FUCKING LEARNING DISABILITY.

@Bowerbird5

I don’t understand why people give out their mobile number to random people these days.

I don’t give many people my number.

I think he seems unsure of himself so possibly learning difficulties or maybe a new phone that he isn’t sure about yet.

She gave it to a workman, standard practice so they can text when they're turning up so please leave gates open windows shut.

Completely agree with hiccupsical. People with LD should be given more support in order to live and work as independently as possible. But that support shouldn't be people like the op turning a blind eye to dozens of inappropriate texts being sent and the discomfort she feels because of that. It should be proper support systems being put in place so this situation doesn't arise in the first place.

And all this is supposing he even has a LD which is far from 'obvious' actually given how common it is for women to be harrassed and stalked.

I’m so sorry for any men with LD who have to navigate the world and try to live independently, reading some of these replies

None of us know he has LD, but if he does, that doesn't mean OP has to accept his behaviour, he has way overstepped the line. She tried being kind, but that didn't work.

Yeah that crossed the creepy line pretty quickly for me. Keep the screenshots, OP, just in case then block the number.

OP hasn't done anything wrong. She's not responsible for this man. The person responsible for him needs to know what he's doing and give him the support he needs to run his business professionally.

Presumably he'll be registered as a window cleaner somewhere? Local council? I'm sure they have to have insurance etc. Maybe try calling them and make them aware of the situation. As others have said, there may be vulnerable people out there who might not be able to deal with him. He could also come across someone who wouldn't be as understanding and end up in a hostile situation.

This would creep me out. You do NOT have to constantly give strangers the benefit of the doubt, just in case there is a learning difficulty or cultural difference or language barrier or whatever. Your instincts are valuable, follow them.

I would send a final message, along the lines of. "I have decided I don't need window cleaning any more. Please stop contacting me from now on." Then no more replies, block or leave the chat there to keep an eye on it, whichever you feel more comfortable with. If he continues harassing you and you need to escalate to the police, it is then very clearly harassment as you told him to stop.

His behaviour is utterly inappropriate. His later messages sound to me very much like a sexual creep. But even if he is someone with learning difficulties, it's still inappropriate behaviour, and he needs to learn that.

Honestly to me it sounds like he has some form of LD so I wouldn't judge him. If the texts took another turn then fine, but it seems like he's just trying to make sure his customer service skills for booking are good.

I would just leave the messages at that and if he continues I'd just say his messaging is inappropriate and to please stop. If it continued I'd cancel any future booking and block him.

I've worked with people who had LD, sometimes they genuinely don't know where the line is. So you have to remind them.

Somehow missed your last few messages, see that you've already messaged him. Really hope it turns out okay and you get left in peace.

I've met alot of creeps in my time and all of them have been NT. The guy is asking for work tips not what colour underwear the OP is wearing. The forest gump reference is disgusting. I have a son on the spectrum and if anyone referred to him as forest gump I be furious. Some adults are worse than kids.

Sloth I take it you didn't rtft.

"I wz a good boy for you"

Definitely block even though you've told him not to contact you!

@rosiethehen

Wow, and people wonder why those with disabilities can't work.

I'm disappointed by many of the responses here. How would you feel if this was your kid or relative?

Are you condoning harrassing the OP?

@SlothMama

He sent her texts all through the night. She already told him to stop and said he should get in touch in december, then she wakes up to a barrage of texts he has spent the whole night sending. And you think she should just leave it alone and allow him back?
She has quite rightly already cancelled the booking.

Having a learning disability and/or not NT does not give this man, or anyone the right to harass other people. We don't even know if this guy does. He may well be NT and have decided to harass OP because he wanted to.

Lots of assumptions on this thread. I'm just glad the OP has told him it's harassment and to leave her alone.

@Okayokayok

He repeatedly text her all through the night, after being told to stop. If that was your son who did that to a woman who had told him to stop, would you be disgusted at her for being angry at the harassment and for telling him to stay away from here? Do you think she should just "be kind" and accept this behaviour from a strange man she has no relationship with and isnt interested in continuing a business arrangement with?