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Original poster

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

388 replies

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 13/10/2020 21:18

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van? Confused

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Marisishidinginmyattic · 14/10/2020 08:31

@Lolaloveslemonade

It’s likely you already know this and are just being facetious but many men who are crossing a line will only be scared away by a man no matter how clearly a woman says no.

Then we’re fucked aren’t we.

Yep.
Lolaloveslemonade · 14/10/2020 08:33

I know you messaged your neighbour but did they reply?
Maybe they know what is going on with him.

OldEvilOwl · 14/10/2020 08:34

Wow! Totally overstepped there! Have you blocked him now? Bet he still replies otherwise

Bettina500 · 14/10/2020 08:35

Definitely something going on with him, if it's additional needs then he needs some sort of guidance or supervision before he ends up in trouble. Be interesting what your neighbours say and if he's done the same to them

DobbyTheHouseElk · 14/10/2020 08:36

Yikes!

How did you hear about him? Do you know anyone else who uses his services. I was thinking LD but those last messages were odd.

You’ve done the right thing but I doubt you’ve heard the last from him.

Cumbersome · 14/10/2020 08:39

Maybe this guy fancies you?

Wtf? What if he does? Is the OP meant to be flattered?

yellowmaoampinball · 14/10/2020 08:43

Your text was perfect op. Hopefully that's the last you hear of him.

TooMinty · 14/10/2020 08:43

Ok that escalated a lot overnight! As PP have said, you need to protect your own boundaries and don't have a responsibility to "be nice". Blocking and finding a new window cleaner definitely the way to go. Hopefully he has someone who can explain to him the inappropriateness of his behaviour but it's not on you to do that. Much more extreme than my colleague who would only need telling once or twice at most, albeit in a very direct way.

DeaconBoo · 14/10/2020 08:44

This is exactly how men use sympathy to push boundaries. Not that anyone could really tell for sure either way as it was a really odd request to "let him practice his text messages" but you dealt with it well OP!

Original poster
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 14/10/2020 08:44

The neighbour I messaged decided not to go with him. I didn't realise. I don't want to ask neighbour who was having him originally. He paid for the front of my house to be cleaned as he'd had some dusty building works. Then the chap knocked and asked if I wanted the back doing too. NDN is a big burly chap and would probably phone this guy to shout at him.

OP posts:
Sillybilly5 · 14/10/2020 08:44

No I'm not saying that. I'm thinking he's doing all of this to be in contact with her for his own satisfaction.
The OP needs to block him.

WhoUsedMyName · 14/10/2020 08:45

Wow only on mn could this post be just to drag down men with ld get a grip!Hmm
It's really bloody odd regardless and this man shouldn't be going to anyone's home especially to anyone vulnerable who wouldn't be able to tell him straight. It's harassment and if he contacted again I'd be calling the police good luck op

Alternista · 14/10/2020 08:56

He crossed the line about seventeeen texts back. Well done OP for setting boundaries.

Even if he has LD, the responsibility for coping with his inappropriate and obsessive behaviour DOES NOT LIE with the OP, who was a woman home alone with children, but with his family, support workers and other adults in his life. He shouldn’t ever have been supported to start up a business (with his own van, equipment etc and associated expense) that relies on him calling on people alone at home during the day (almost always women) with his obsessive and inappropriate communication style and lack of ability to put inboundaries.

Women are allowed to take action to call out inappropriate boundaries and feel safe in their own without being made to feel bad for doing so.

Alcoholulater · 14/10/2020 08:59

That is reeeally creepy.

Sorry if I missed it but why does he have your number? Not blaming you, just wondering how he managed to it get it. Surely he doesn't have every person's number he cleans windows for??

bibbitybobbitycats · 14/10/2020 08:59

I think oldbagface had it right with no.3 on her list. All this "did I do a good job, did I, did I?"

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 14/10/2020 09:00

You really should tell the original neighbour. If he is planning to use this guy again then he will be round your street, possibly trying to drum up business with other neighbours or coming back to you to try and talk to you etc.

Just let the neighbour know and show him the messages and maybe ask if he could employ someone else for the job rather than have this guy back round.

yetanothernamitynamechange · 14/10/2020 09:00

I think you handled it exactly right OP.
When I saw the first texts I thought it seemed odd, but probably harmless, and you were sympathetic to the first request and kindly but firmly shut down the others.
I think the final text you sent was right - he had definately crossed the line into creepy by that point and even if he was completely innocent and just had LD then he needs to know that he is going to put of clients acting like that and that its innaproppriate.
I also think that, while most people with LD aren't creepy or wierdos, the two things aren't mutually exclusive. SOmeone can have a LD and be a creep, in the exact same way someone with NT can also be a creep. I would be prepared to give someone with a LD the benefit of the doubt to a certain extent, but he way overstepped the point at which that applies, LD or not.

yetanothernamitynamechange · 14/10/2020 09:02

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant

Oh gosh, I feel bad for being scared now. My parents' window cleaners brought them a jar of homemade honey from Poland last time they visited.
This though... never feel bad for feeling scared!
Itisbetter · 14/10/2020 09:02

I think that sounds like a very measured response OP.

Original poster
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 14/10/2020 09:03

Telling my neighbour is likely to be followed by a phone call to this guy along the lines of: 'You! You are texting my neighbour! Now I look bad! I will call the police! You will never clean windows again!' etc.

OP posts:
Eddielzzard · 14/10/2020 09:03

You were clear and polite. He clearly needs a bit of support here, but not from you. Well handled.

Yogaroll · 14/10/2020 09:06

I'm so sorry for any men with LD who have to navigate the world and try to live independently, reading some of these replies

Completely agree. Some of the comments on her are absolutely disgusting considering it quite obvious this man has some form of SN!

cheesemongery · 14/10/2020 09:09

Oh blimey, that did escalate. Just because somebody has a learning disability does not mean they are sweet or that they are safe.

This guy clearly gets obsessive about things.

Is there anyway you can block but still get the messages (albeit not be alerted by them) I'm worried for you in case his narrative goes in to - I haven't heard from you and I'm worried so I'm going to come round and check you are okay and see if your windows need doing again.

Obviously do not engage with him further but I would want to keep any messages sent just in case.

This is the sort of thing that usually happens to me! As my Nan would have said - you do pick em cheese Grin no, they just tend to gravitate towards me!

SettingFloundaries · 14/10/2020 09:12

Finding some of these responses weird now. It’s not OP’s job to be nice to all men who overstep boundaries in case they have learning difficulties. Yesterday maybe there was room for interpretation but texting all night like that isn’t something you just have to tolerate from anyone.

Rollergirl11 · 14/10/2020 09:12

This is worrying. OP, did you get any kind of strange vibe from him in person?