If you had a big, expensive wedding...?

[LeanishMachine]

When?

Are you still together?

Would you do it again? Or differently?

I had what my parents considered "proper". White dress, church, car, flowers, sit down meal for 100 people. TBH I wasn't particularly interested in the wedding and they organised and paid for most of it, in 1992 (I did choose the dress!). It was different times and whilst mine might have been extreme, I think parents did have far more involvement in weddings as the norm.

Which was fine at the time, I don't feel I missed out on anything and we're still together, getting married was always more important to me than the wedding day.

If I did it again (I hope I never need to!), it would be a handful of people and a picnic, not because I regret it but I just don't see what's gained by spending the money and expensive weddings seem to cause so much angst.

2009, spent £40K, 110 guests. Still together. It was brilliant, I loved every second of it and looking at the photos still makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

I’ve never heard of a brides ball - sounds amazing, sign me up, I’d love to wear my beautiful Claire Pettibone again!

• so yes, no regrets, it was worth every penny.

Married 10years, fairly big wedding 100 people.
If I could turn the clock back I'd change the guest list their is a couple of changes I'd make of my own, and I'd stand up to the ILs who insisted on 10 people of their own. Of the 10 I've only ever met 1 of them since. That bugged me at the time and continues to bug me.

I'm not married mainly because I don't want a wedding. Really interesting reading these thanks! I am a bit shocked at the 40k ones. I imagine that's a super fancy. Also I don't think we know 100 people to invite!

Married in 2014 in a drive thru wedding in vegas. No guests, no frills etc and i loved every bloody second of it.

Only one thing i would change. When i got married I wasn’t a drinker, but now i know if i had turned up in a few bars newly wed i would’ve got free cocktails! Plus i was in two minds whether to wear white, or a black gothy dress. I went with white but i always wonder if I should’ve gone black. Tbh i think i would be in this dilemma regardless of what choice i went with.

No but my sister did, married at a church in Chelsea then reception at Lords Long Room. I preferred a smaller wedding. We both loved our wedding days, she has been married 13 yrs with 2DC.

1975. 200+ guests. My parents paid. Their choice - a church wedding mattered to them and the numbers just grew.

I'd have preferred something smaller but it was a lovely day.

Still together.

@Plussizejumpsuit

I'm not married mainly because I don't want a wedding. Really interesting reading these thanks! I am a bit shocked at the 40k ones. I imagine that's a super fancy. Also I don't think we know 100 people to invite!

I don’t know that ‘fancy’ is the right word really. Most of the money went on the venue, because it was in London - we had a lot of guests flying in from overseas so wanted to make it as easy as possible for them, and there was a wide range of accommodation nearby to suit all budgets. We provided all the booze; PIL drove most of it over from a vineyard in France, so guests didn’t have to buy any drinks, and we paid for the hotel rooms for all our immediate families, bridesmaids and best man, again so they wouldn’t be out of pocket. The other biggish expense was a live band.

It wasn’t like we wasted money on fripperies like chair covers, favours and that sort of paraphernalia.

I did blow quite a lot on flowers, admittedly, but that’s because I really love flowers and I’ve made a career out of them.

@VenusClapTrap oh OK I see how the London venue and hotels added to the cost! I used to live in London and (used) to visit its and know how expensive hotels are. Having attended a good few weddings I agree favours are not worth the money!

Dah turned out to be groomzilla and we had a pretty lavish wedding. Accommodation, booze etc paid for, fireworks, different bands and musicians, other entertainment, amazing decorations done by celebrity florists, a ridiculous cake etc.

I found the day stressful and think of it as the low point in our marriage lol Otherwise, were v happy together 6 yrs later.

Yes, 2010, about 20k but loved it, gave all our friends and family the best day we could afford, didn’t scrimp on food and drink and are still happily together.

If I got married again it’d be a second wedding and I’d be quite a bit older so probably wouldn’t go for the big white wedding, would imagine I’d keep it quite low key / go on holiday instead.

2.5 years ago

Still married, blissfully

Would do it exactly the same, it was an incredible day and worth every penny. We often comment that we would love to do it all again.

Married in 2011 about 12k and a big traditional day. Had a wonderful day but not together anymore. We had 80 in the day 150 in the night.

If I got married again I would definitely do a smaller one and less traditional but have no regrets about my first wedding.

I totally agree! I
like this option - a minimum of guests, a minimum of nerves for organizing everything, a minimum of people who are not important to you whom you have seen, perhaps once in your life.
it is better to spend all the time and attention on you two lovers - this is your day! it is better to spend a large amount not on a big wedding, but on something significant for the family, and make the celebration modest and for your pleasure

While I wouldn't have spent the money myself, I actually really enjoyed my wedding as a massive get-together of distant family, meeting people I hadn't seen in years and the people who were important to them. Loved looking around the room and seeing all these different people meeting each other and enjoying themselves. Small children dancing with grown-ups, people from two different cultures finding out about each other, dh getting stuck into the late-night buffet. Can't imagine that a day focusing just on me would have been as much fun.

Got married 2005, we spent about 10k including our luxury honeymoon. Fancy hotel wedding with sit down meal for 100.
I loved it, we had a great day but saved money by cutting back on things that didn’t matter. We didn’t do favours for example and I made the invitations myself.
Still married 15 years and 3dc later.

Yes 2001 100 plus guests.

Both my husband and I are very traditional and he wanted a 'proper' wedding in a church. I would of been happy to have a registry office,

So glad we did as it was such a special day and we loved it.

Still together 19 years later with three kids. It has not always been easy and I was ready to walk away about 8 years but we turned it around. We took our vows seriously and whilst I didn't want to stay in an unhappy marriage we worked in it, had our third child who really completed our family,

If I married again I would want to do it on a tropical beach

@tortillachipsanddips

Yes 2001 100 plus guests.

Both my husband and I are very traditional and he wanted a 'proper' wedding in a church. I would of been happy to have a registry office,

So glad we did as it was such a special day and we loved it.

Still together 19 years later with three kids. It has not always been easy and I was ready to walk away about 8 years but we turned it around. We took our vows seriously and whilst I didn't want to stay in an unhappy marriage we worked in it, had our third child who really completed our family,

If I married again I would want to do it on a tropical beach

Forgot to say we saved up for our first house deposit and then the wedding and paid for it all our selves

We had a cheap and cheerful wedding in 1973. Church wedding, 60 guests, buffet in the church hall, paid for by my parents. I made my own wedding dress for £15. Still together, but in the unlikely event that I ever get married again I think I would go even smaller.

Married 2010, married abroad but still cost £25k inc our honeymoon.
Had 30 guests but paid for all their accommodation which was the biggest cost.

Still together now.

Don't regret the wedding, but amazed we managed to save most of the money for it in a year!! Do regret spending the money of stupid extras though.... favours, toiletries for the guests etc etc 🙄
Wish we stumped up for a videographer instead !!

We had a lavish wedding for a tiny number of guests so about £5k covered all of their hotel bills and a bloody lovely dinner. We’d been together for 12yrs when we got married, 18yrs now. Lovely memories!

Married 20 years
Still together
Traditional church wedding
120 guests all for dinner
No evening guests
Spend about 25k
No angst
Fantastic day
Didn’t go mad on extras but had a free bar
No regrets

Yes we did. Approx £30k, mainly paid ourselves except my mum bought my dress and MIL paid for the flowers.
Loved every minute, it was brilliant. Still married (12 years now).

We had a tiny wedding nearly 3 years ago, just us, the kids and 4-5 guests each, which was perfect for us. We came close to splitting recently and are living apart but on the right track to fixing things. My best friend had an unbelievable wedding - 55k between them, her parents and credit cards. They split up 8 months later. I already thought it was a shocking waste of money (as maid of honour I kept that opinion to myself!) but the fact they didn't even last a year makes it even worse.

We didn't spend a huge amount. My dress was probably the biggest expense at £1800 but we had a marquee in the garden for about 70 people, did all the catering ourselves apart from the serving where we got a few local teens to help for a fee. Borrowed hay bales from the local farmer as seating once the chairs and tables had been put away (with throws). Borrowed a portable dance floor and used local hops and lavender as decoration. My sister did table decorations with wire work and beads and lots of lavender. And some of our wedding presents were memorable performances from musical friends. It's possible to do it on a budget if you use what's available.