Teachers know what's happening but can't tell us

[EvaHoffman]

As members of the elite teachers are automatically told things by the government and instructed not to tell us little, marginalised folk.

They probably have secret briefings. Either that or elite champagne cocktail parties where they network with each other and exchange information about what the next lockdown rules will be.

The only reason ordinary people don't know exactly what is going to happen with lockdown rules tomorrow, next week, next month is that we are considered too lowly to be told.

I'm going to keep on starting threads until someone spills the beans and admits that they know there's going to be an October lock down.

Just a regular shooting party samosa

The way teachers are treated, I wouldn't be surprised if they were told about the lockdown during the EOD staff meeting and then locked in the building. And all of the biscuits would be gone, too.

Also, in fairness to others, I've seen some shite on here just today, so I'm not surprised that people thought you were genuine! There's another thread that I'm hoping the OP will say they've been having us on. But sadly I don't think he will.

They’ve told DH what happened to Lord Lucan too, he’s that elite.

Genuinely concerned how many people didn't know the OP was joking.

Genuinely concerned how many people didn't know the OP was joking
It's a brilliant thread from OP.

What's really pathetic is that there really are posters on here who'd write that post as a genuine rant.

Didn't someone say that the beauty of satire is when you can't quite tell?

Headteachers all know what happened to Lord Lucan. They hang out in the same gambling clubs in Mayfair. They exchange elite secrets over cigars and brandy.

I thought it was quite obvious OP was joking. Not sure why so many people took it so seriously.

@BikerWife

Please can someone get me a fake teacher ID so I can get into the elite cocktail parties?

Sorry to say there is no such thing, instead we follow these guidelines which we developed after an abundant champagne quaffing session when we should have been at a TED.

@GottaPlanStan

"elite champagne cocktail parties"

More like own-brand instant coffee and whatever's left in the biscuit tin while SLT drone on about the latest initiative that will apparently boost results like no other...

Slightly off topic but what does SLT stand for? I always thought it was speech language therapist...

Senior Leadership Team

@monkeytennis97

Senior Leadership Team

Thank you! Makes sense now

Aye. Keep on doing the same thing repeatedly. You might get a different result 🤔

Ah, is this also the same as the conspiracy I’m part of? The MSM conspiracy? I take my orders directory from Hancock these days. He regularly pops into the newsroom to let us know what we should be printing tomorrow.

That's BS. Sorry to burst your bubble.

My college teacher husband has been told today to prepare for full time face to face classes as of next week (they currently have everything online due to positive cases).

And I'm glad you're joking because I was scratching my head trying to work out whether I was once elite but relinquished my eliteness when I resigned :o

But yeah, some of the weird conspiracy theorists around are mind boggling.

@EvaHoffman

DellaDoo I find it really strange that a school could tell anybody for sure that they were going to close. Schools really DO NOT get different information to anybody else. Honestly, they really don't.

Perhaps they had another source, who knows, but the information was correct.

For the first time ever I can tell you we have been told in advance that the DFE has ruled out a 2 week half term as a 'circuit breaker'. NOW I almost fell off my chair when I read that in our weekly bulletin this week.
Because until now we've know when everyone else has. No one told me I couldn't tell anyone.

I am a teacher . If you pay me enough I will tell you when lockdown will happen and for how long ;)
And yes we are part of the elite

Did people really not see the sarcasm even when the op mentioned the champagne cocktail parties? Has teacher bashing on here really got that bad?
I, on the other hand, work for the government and know everything. Next week's lottery numbers, anyone?

PS second week of November will be lovely and sunny in South Lake District. Get booked up. Before the asteroid.