Amusing mishearings of children

[nevernotstruggling]

Dd1 thinks the device in a petrol car is called a Cat Litter Converter.

Indulge me with more please I'm tired of covid gloom!

Driving through the Cotswolds, we went through Chipping Norton, son said, Chicken Norton, and started looking for McDonalds.

When my Uncle passed away, my Auntie told their Grandson that Granda had gone to Heaven... Grandson then told everyone that Granda had 'gone to Kevin's'

My littlest used to think that Grandmaster Glitch in Go Jetters was called Grandma Steglitch

DD had 'needles and noodles' not pins and needles. Needless to say we always sat needles and noodles now

My DD used to sing All that Jazz from Chicago when she was 6 or 7, with a whole lot of misheard lyrics (probably just as well!). I can't remember them all now, but one was "where the jelly's cold but the piano's hot".
DS1 had me slightly worried when in Reception he told me that the had had rats for lunch. He was very insistent that this was the case and that it had been nice. I eventually got him to describe the meal. Apparently the rat meat was with salad and was rolled up in some funny bread. Wraps have been called rats in our house ever since, and he is 17 now.
But DS2's best was fairly recent, certainly in secondary school. They had been learning about Denmark in Geography and he was particularly interested in the Ferrero Islands. He looked a bit blank however when I immediately replied that I believe they have a very generous ambassador. (I was impressed with myself though)

Pass-ghetti hoops were a great favourite in my house many years ago... (Spaghetti in case you didn't get it!)
Dc1 also used to refer to a lie-back and a sit-up when little. It took me rather longer than I should have to realise they were the changing mat and car seat!

@chillie my DD also said hello is your name until this year- Y3! Catholic school for your DC too?

DD, when a toddler, was partial to chips & chicken yoghurts (nuggets)

Proper spaniel instead of cocker spaniel-ds 4
Ssshhh carrot instead of ssshhh quiet-dd2

I bought my son (6) a countilator yesterday

@MrsAvocet that Ambassador who is always spoiling us 😂😂😂

DS says dolfish which I never want to correct to dolphin he’s got a few actually but I can’t think of them!

Busghetti instead of spaghetti. We all still say and use it regularly 10 years on!

One day when my daughter was a toddler she asked for tadpole and got quite cross with me when I found her book about tadpoles and frogs. Anyway, after much questioning it turned out she felt a bit ill and actually wanted calpol.

She used to think unicorns were called hornicorns.

She's now 7. When I asked her yesterday what she'd had for lunch at school that day she told me she'd had a burger and "wedgies".

DS when very young announced at the Christmas lunch in front of the whole family that Dad always uses the C word.

The C word is crap in our house but everyone went very quiet until I set the record straight.

DH was mortified. My family are quite prudish.

My DS has a friend called “fofus” in nursery school. Poor Joseph.

*had

I've thought of another classic from my dd...
When her great grandmother died we told dd that nanny had gone to heaven. When she went into nursery that week she told the staff that her nanny had gone to prison.

Countilator is the correct name for the automated adding machine surely x

We had a memorable holiday in Swange (Swanage and he was learning to read).

I was much older when I mentioned to my dh about a friend going to Ace Ventura.

Eldest had so many adorable ones I wrote them down.

I regret laughing at the "tuckyouin" and correcting him as he wouldn't say it after then. So sweet as his dad must have always said let's tuck you in at bedtime when covering him with the duvet.

He also protested at not being a blackcurrant boy when sounding particularly Black Country one day

Ds3 age 5 -
sprinkly lemon juice - lemonade
Cockcorn - popcorn
Night bears - nightmares
Snitchel - schnitzel (although all my kids have called it snitchel when they're little)

He's come out with some other funny ones because he has fluid in his ears and it affects his hearing.
He was very cross about lockdown and blamed 'borin johnson'.

2 year old DS said watches and clocks = cocks.

Walking around supermarkets in the summer with cocks out everywhere needing pointing out was not fun!

DD1 at 8 shaking hands with people in Church on Christmas Eve saying "Pleased to meet you" instead of "Peace be with you" gets brought up every year.

DS (11) told me in his first day at high school that if you do something wrong your get a Mr Meany (misdemeanour). And they are meany too as they give them out for so much as breathing in the wrong direction 🙈

I once asked a child to draw a bat and a ball for a display. She drew a bat (animal) on a wall.

Two boys aged about nine discussing the seriousness of various swear words with me and the teenage sister of one of them. They started talking about how they would never use the L word. Teenager and I were baffled and eventually got them to say it fully, ‘Leotard’. Finally worked out they meant retard and agreed it was definitely not a term they should use. For a while Leotard was used whenever they did something particularly daft though.

My youngest a few years ago was watching "Salute" music video by Little Mix, where in the song the lyrics are," attention salute", he however sang, " attention sluts" instead!!!