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Original poster

I am your mil

190 replies

TTC45 · 05/10/2020 05:13

OK ok

So I've seen a few of these before and they proper cracked me up.

I thought of it randomly today and decided to start one.

I promise that you that it is all entirely lighthearted and that I know that not all mil are bad ;)

So go on, ask me or tell me something?

For I am your mil.

OP posts:
BringPizza · 05/10/2020 09:34

I think 18 years of your over-cooked Christmas dinners is enough, can we not have a year off without the massively over-dramatic guilt tripping?

And ps, same number of years living next door to you is enough. As soon as the kids go off to college/uni (5 yrs and counting) I am off, with it or without your son. You know, the third one- the only one to have actually done or achieved anything, the one you only come to when you need something (always when you see we're in the middle of something ourselves).

TrickyD · 05/10/2020 09:35

Thanks, ChickensMightFly. We are very lucky and so are our DSs.

LadySeaThing · 05/10/2020 09:39

Dear exMIL, it's nice not to have to come and stay with you any more in your awful smelly house full of untrained dogs and gone off food! But still, we used to stay in touch. Pretending me and the kids have vanished off the face of the earth since I separated from your son is a bit crappy. I was prepared to maintain a relationship you know. I even told ex (before we separated) that I would be around to help care for you in your old age if you moved closer to us. But I know you always distrusted me for being a city girl who doesn't like being jumped on by dogs, eating mouldy marmalade or killing foxes. Eh well!

Quackersandcheese3 · 05/10/2020 09:43

Why can’t you have a serious conversation?

Notyoungbutscrappyandhungry · 05/10/2020 09:48

@Pearsapiece

You're a fantastic nan to our children, I just wish you would put your son in the same light as your daughters and see us more. Just because he doesn't kick and scream for your attention, doesn't mean he doesn't love, miss and want to see you.
This
FraughtwithGin · 05/10/2020 09:51

My goodness, you are in fine fettle, considering you died 3 years ago!
;-)

Pieceofpurplesky · 05/10/2020 09:52

Hi ex MIL
It's your son at fault. You need to grow up and accept that he has now had two wives and a partner and has cheated on them all. It's a pattern. He's a narcissist.

Oh and seeing his kids for two hours on a Saturday when he's not busy, never having them overnight or taking them
On holiday is not enough and yes he could do a lot more.

Finally, you are such a backstabbing old busybody that people avoid you in the supermarket

WorksTheDinerAllDay · 05/10/2020 09:53

Why do you feel the need to compare my kids to your daughter's all the time?

Why do you feel the need to attribute every aspect of my children's personalities and appearances to your side of the family as though I had no involvement in their creation? Whilst I understand that your Aunt was blonde, the rest of your family are dark haired. My entire family are blonde. It's pretty obvious where that gene comes from. And don't get me started on their intelligence. I actually got better grades at school than your son you know.

Also, why are you still married to FIL? He's an utter lazy and misogynistic turd stain.

pooopypants · 05/10/2020 09:57

You're a wet fucking lettuce and need to stop allowing yourself to be molly coddled by everyone around you. Tell your husband to back the fuck off when he puts his woes above your own and doubly fuck off when he tells you you're wearing too much make up.

You didn't do a good job of raising your sons, you taught them nothing helpful by way of life skills and you allowed them to be lazy arses

Oh, and nobody needs to go for a lie down after sneezing 8 times, it doesn't make you tired - just blow your damn nose

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 05/10/2020 10:01

Interesting thread: looks like the 'hot seating' technique so often used in therapy sessions. It seems to be cathartic for a good many posters here. I'm sorry so many people have put up with situations they're not happy with for many years and can't say openly what they really think or really want.

I don't think this kind of tension is new, and it's not just DiL -v- MiL. The 'mother in law joke' harks right back to the music call days and seems to be just as fraught between sons in law and their wives' mothers. Fathers in law don't feature nearly so prominently, which is interesting in itself.

Why oh why does this brand of extended family relationship have to be so difficult?

nibdedibble · 05/10/2020 10:01

Hi MIL

Why do you treat your boys so differently? The one I love is gorgeous, he just doesn’t do a great job of listening to you bang on about yourself all the time.

Answered my own question there I suppose.

Also, stop walking into a room and demanding everyone break off what they’re talking about to listen to your empty vessel. Thx!!

TheIckabog · 05/10/2020 10:02

You are a lovely, wonderful, kind and generous woman. You’ve raised your son beautifully and I couldn’t be married to a nicer man. For this I thank you.

However, I don’t understand why you will insist on having SIL’s children day in day out but will only babysit on occasion for us under duress. I’m still annoyed that you refused my direct requests for help with newborn DD when DH went back to work and my parents were away traveling so I had no help for 3 months. I wish you didn’t enable SIL so much or allow the bad behavior of her children because it makes us not want to visit.

JenniferSantoro · 05/10/2020 10:03

I love and miss you more than I can say.

unmarkedbythat · 05/10/2020 10:06

Why doesn't my husband speak to you? Why don't you make an effort to contact him? Don't you miss him? Why doesn't he miss you?

playinthedarkness · 05/10/2020 10:06

Why do you not see that your constant neediness to make my dh your ds your surrogate h is destroying our marriage. He is one of 4 children yet the only one who you ask to do anything and everything! He feels he has to because you're old but you manage to cope when we go on holiday-strange how others help you then. I will never forget how you replied but what about if I need you when he said we was going away with our kids- who by the way you haven't seen in months and don't even ask about!

notalwaysalondoner · 05/10/2020 10:16

You are a fun, brilliant person who raised a lovely, kind hearted son but I wish you hadn’t used the fact you were a SAHM to encourage your son to have a subconscious 1950s view of roles and never made him take on a single chore until he left home. I’ve spent years training him to have equal roles but he still subconsciously (I hope) avoids chores wherever possible and sees them as someone else’s problem.

Seriouslymole · 05/10/2020 10:19

I miss you so much. I'm sorry I didn't say all this to you before you died, but I'm so grateful for the gift that is your son. You raised 3 boys to be amazing men in their own right and I'm very fortunate to have married one of them. He's really struggling at the moment, but we're getting through it. He misses you like crazy too.

I miss our morning talks whilst I'm walking the dog. I'm sad you didn't get to see DS1 transfer to secondary, but he's doing fine. Both the DC are turning into nice people so far. I do miss your advice. You were an amazing woman, I know we had our moments when we didn't agree and there were times you drove me potty, and I suspect the reverse is true too, but honestly, I am so grateful I knew you. I love you. Thank you xxx

Iamblossom · 05/10/2020 10:24

I hope you are at peace in heaven. I really miss you, and even now a year later I go to tell you something about your grandsons that you would love, and remember you aren't here.

I hope you liked the eulogy I did for you at your funeral. I'm sorry I withdrew in the weeks before you died but I was in complete denial that I was about to lose another Mum and, I now realise, very angry about it.

I hope you have met up with my Mum now I have lost you both and talk about me and know how much I love and miss you both.

Hotwaterbottlelove · 05/10/2020 10:26

I miss you, I hate that I've not seen you for all of 2020. You make me laugh so much. I am so proud of the way you have pulled yourself out of the anxiety you were in a few years ago. Well done you.

Iamblossom · 05/10/2020 10:26

hugs @Seriouslymole and @JenniferSantoro

Seriouslymole · 05/10/2020 10:32

@Iamblossom

hugs *@Seriouslymole and @JenniferSantoro*
Likewise!
blissfulllife · 05/10/2020 10:35

Please stop referring to our daughter as "the autistic one"

differentnameforthis · 05/10/2020 10:35

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

Interesting thread: looks like the 'hot seating' technique so often used in therapy sessions. It seems to be cathartic for a good many posters here. I'm sorry so many people have put up with situations they're not happy with for many years and can't say openly what they really think or really want.

I don't think this kind of tension is new, and it's not just DiL -v- MiL. The 'mother in law joke' harks right back to the music call days and seems to be just as fraught between sons in law and their wives' mothers. Fathers in law don't feature nearly so prominently, which is interesting in itself.

Why oh why does this brand of extended family relationship have to be so difficult?

To be fair, my MIL has been great, and treats me well. But the one time I reach out and ask for help, she completely fails...

I can't tell her what I posted, as she would tell H and I have been told not to let him know I am leaving. She will be the first person I call when I do, though. I just hope she understands.

YukoandHiro · 05/10/2020 10:39

I wish I'd been more inquisitive about your life while you were still here. I'm sorry we waited so long that you never met your your DGCs or saw your sole surviving DS marry. I wonder every week what different advice you might have offered about raising small children.
You would be proud of your DS and the life he made in the end.

Clevererthanyou · 05/10/2020 10:44

Mam, I don’t know how to tell you but I’ve constantly cheated on this bloody diet that was my idea in the first place and that you’ve stuck to steadfastly.

I have bought you the greatest birthday present of all time though Grin