www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/shoppers-plea-heart-after-screaming-18956448
Shopper's plea from the heart after screaming face mask row in Sainsbury’s
"I don’t wear a mask for a reason, you don’t know my reason, so maybe think before you have a go"
A woman has apologised and asked for understanding after swearing at another shopper who had a go at her for not wearing a face mask in a Sainsbury’s.
Alice Speller, who has complex post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and a possible borderline personality disorder, took to social media to apologise for her angry outburst. But she also asked for others to be more understanding of those who are exempt from wearing face masks.
Alice, who visited the store with her husband Terry, wrote: “I went to our local Sainsbury’s today, it’s not easy for me to do this, anxiety is high for me, just the mere thought of having to go.
"Fear of judgement from others, as I cannot wear a mask, my husband has to take a good while reassuring me, convincing me I will be fine. Walking into store, I try and focus on getting through the shop with no major issues.
“I hear over the tannoy kind words stating be aware that not all can wear masks, to be kind, etc. Finally some consideration to those who do have issues, whether it’s mental health or others.”
Alice sneezed twice into the arm of her coat while in the store, Cornwall Live reports.
She added: “Finishing up the shopping, heading to the checkout, paying for the items, I turn to see a furious face inches from mine. My anxiety kicks in, too close, I don’t do people too close, my heart skips a beat, as she yells in my face: ‘If you can’t be bothered to wear a mask at least cover your mouth with a hanky when you sneeze.’
“I reply I had used my sleeve and hand, my coat was slightly damp, she shouted: ‘No you didn’t and not to be so rude.’ She uttered other words, but I couldn’t hear,
“My fight mode kicked in, I shouted back, I felt a panic attack kicking in, I screamed at her to not judge when she doesn’t know me, as she walked away her head held high, as people stopped and stared, as the tears started to run down my face, I hope whoever you are, that you are proud of your two minutes of shouting into a woman’s face, not knowing her.
“Kind words would have gone much further, but instead you went into full attack. Maybe Covid scares you, maybe you have been affected by it, but that still gives you no right to scream at another so close, but you obviously can’t be too worried, as you were so close, the two metre rule didn’t exist, your mask wasn’t fully up either.
I don’t wear a mask for a reason, you don’t know my reason, so maybe think before you have a go, If you had walked over to me, and said kindly, I saw you sneeze and you didn’t see you use a hanky, is everything OK, etc, we could have had a chat, but you didn’t.”
Alice, from Bodmin, said: “My husband has since spoken to the store, to apologise for my outburst, wanted to make it known that I know I was wrong and to say sorry, but they didn’t care for that, all they cared for was whether I was OK.
“I’m fine, but I’m not OK.”
Terry told Cornwall Live after the incident: “We have decided to speak out to help other people who are suffering.
“We understand the rules and how things are. I wear a mask when we’re out, and if I see a family and one of them isn’t wearing a mask, I automatically assume there is a reason.
“I don’t judge and I wouldn’t want anyone judging my wife.”
He added that even leaving the house is a struggle for Alice. She can only manage it if she is accompanied by Terry or one of their four children.
“Going into a supermarket heightens her anxiety as she has a fear of being in big groups of people. So she was already on edge. If this woman had an issue, she could have just said, ‘excuse me, can I have a word?’ but she was instantly in her face and Alice’s anxiety went through the roof.
“All the attention and focus on my wife led to a panic attack and she did react and swear at the woman.”
Terry said that the store was very appreciative and supportive when he apologised for the incident.
“She was embarrassed and it’s made her more cautious to go out.
He stressed that others should consider that some people may have endured traumatic incidents where their faces have been covered, meaning wearing a face mask or shield can bring on negative feelings.
Following the incident on Tuesday, Alice took to Facebook to apologise to the woman she shouted at.
“This morning I had a public outburst and I wish to apologise to anyone who witnessed it. I don’t feel proud of what I did, but sometimes you simply cannot control a reaction to a situation.
If the lady who approached me is on social media, or if anyone knows her, as I am sure she may mention to someone about a crazy lady screaming at her, please can she read this [Alice’s explanation as featured above].”
A Sainsbury’s spokesperson said: “We are asking everyone to continue playing their part in helping us to keep everyone safe in our stores. Posters are displayed inside and outside our stores and there are regular tannoy announcements asking customers to wear face coverings but also be considerate of those who may not be able to wear one.”